You'll Be the Death of Me

“Every single day, it’s like getting slammed in the head with a two-by-four to see my mother, who used to run 5Ks and play softball every weekend, strain to make it from the living room to the kitchen.”

Mateo’s defining characteristic is his devotion to his family, especially his mother. His mother’s disability forces Mateo to mature faster than his peers by getting a job and taking on financial responsibility for his household.

“I tamp down disappointment, because that’s how it is with Lara. Something comes up a lot. I knew when I got into my car that there was a fifty-fifty chance I’d end up eating alone.”

From the beginning of the novel, McManus uses her multiple-perspective structure to cloak Cal’s relationship with Lara in mystery. This passage highlights both Lara’s inaccessibility—Cal has to travel to meet her—and her unreliability.

“Carlton High did away with yearbook senior superlatives like Best-Looking and Most Likely to Succeed years ago, deeming them ‘unhealthy labeling,’ so now seniors have their own underground list with categories that change every year. I’m honestly a little afraid of what I might win in the spring.”

This passage reflects the teenage perspective of its narrator, a high school senior. Ivy believes that her school administrator’s attempts to stop bullying and improve self-esteem have backfired, leading to additional bullying that the administrators cannot control. For Ivy, this failure reflects the administration’s inability to understand teenagers.

“Emily: Hellooooooo, anyone there?

Emily: Bueller? Bueller?”

In this passage, McManus references Ferris Bueller’s Day Off, the classic teen movie from the 1980s—in which three students skip school to spend the day in the city—that provides partial inspiration for the story. A similar reference occurs in McManus’s first novel, One of Us Is Lying, which is inspired by another ‘80s classic, The Breakfast Club. This passage also provides an example of McManus’s stylistic choice to include other types of texts, such as TV transcripts or text messages, alongside her prose in You’ll Be the Death of Me to tell the story.

“Back in middle school, when the three of us used to wander through the Carlton Mall, Mateo was the only one who’d ever get followed around by security.”

Although Ivy is initially angry that Mateo and Cal fled the scene of the crime, she acknowledges that Mateo’s relationship with law enforcement as a person of color is very different from hers. Mateo and his mother’s Hispanic identity adds another layer to the already complicated power dynamic between his family and Ivy’s.

“Well, Carlton College just fired a professor for sleeping with a student. It was a whole thing, and Wes was interviewed a bunch of times. If people knew his son was sneaking around with a teacher, he’d look like a hypocrite. Or a clueless, uninvolved parent.”

Tensions Inherent in Parent-Teen Relationships form a central thematic concern throughout the novel. In this case, Cal intentionally repeats mistakes his father has directly advocated against in his professional career. The novel suggests that Cal is drawn to Lara despite knowing better as a result of his father’s advice and experience.

“The last text message I have is from Lara agreeing to meet; there’s not a single person at Carlton High who got in touch to share the news about Boney. Who am I kidding? My so-called friends probably haven’t even noticed I’m not there.”

Cal’s loneliness is one of his defining characteristics: The novel suggests he is drawn to Lara because he has no one else to talk to. Unlike Ivy and Mateo, Cal has no friends outside of their group. His loneliness helps explain his emotional investment in reviving their old friendship.

“There’s no question that Mateo is even better-looking now than he was back then, and he’s been the strong, steady rock keeping me from melting down all morning.”

Mateo and Ivy’s romantic arc forms the novel’s secondary plotline running alongside the novel’s main mystery. The reveal that Ivy never read Mateo’s note after their first kiss catalyzes a redemption story for their relationship, providing them with a second chance to act on their feelings for each other and leading them to grow closer in the middle section of the novel.

“‘And of course, there’s Ivy to consider.’ I held myself even stiller on the stands, barely breathing as she added, ‘Ivy can’t be made to feel less than.’ I know it’s the opposite of what my mother wanted, but as soon as she uttered the phrase, I felt exactly that.”

McManus reveals that the root of Ivy’s insecurity is her brother Daniel, who is gifted academically and has skipped a grade, joining Ivy’s class. The novel suggests that Ivy’s parents have inadvertently reinforced her insecurity by overcompensating in their treatment of her.

“There’s something pressing against the edge of my subconscious, whispering that I already know the answer, and it’s frustrating as hell because I don’t. At least, I don’t think I do.”

The novel suggests that Cal’s relationship with his teacher Lara Jamison clouds his critical thinking skills, causing him to deny his instincts. In this instance, although he instinctively knows who has sent Lara the love note, his subconscious hides this information from him in order to protect his feelings for and relationship with Lara, pointing to the novel’s exploration of The Rewards and Risks of Trusting Instincts.

“Kissing Ivy is both familiar and exhilarating, like coming back to a place I wish I hadn’t left and finding it’s even better than I remember.”

The novel establishes Ivy and Mateo’s mutual crush early, although neither of them is aware of the other’s feelings, creating a romantic arc that raises the emotional stakes of the plot. This passage suggests that Mateo feels as if he has always been with Ivy, even when they were not speaking.

“‘Or maybe it was a guess,’ he says. ‘If you were gonna pick a drug-dealing Wojcik, wouldn’t it be him?’ Charlie waves in Mateo’s direction. ‘The big guy with the bad attitude. Not the cute girl.’”

In this passage, McManus points to the problematic nature of judgements based on appearance and implicit bias. Charlie suggests that Mateo is a more likely drug dealer than his cousin Autumn because he’s large, moody, male, and Puerto Rican, whereas Autumn is white, female, and diminutive.

“I open my mouth to say no—and then abruptly close it, because the memory that’s been poking around the edges of my brain finally hits me full force.”

This passage points to the novel’s thematic interest in The Rewards and Risks of Trusting Instincts, and highlights the way McManus positions instincts as an extension of character. Cal instinctively knows that Lara Jamison is involved in Boney’s murder, but he suppresses these thoughts until the last possible minute to avoid facing difficult truths.

“‘You don’t even know me,’ I mutter, folding my arms as I glare at the screen. Somehow, though, my televised humiliation is slightly less horrifying the second time around.”

Throughout the novel, McManus characterizes Ivy as extremely conscious of the way others—especially her parents and her classmates—perceive her. Her gradual acceptance that she is more than others’ expectations of her is essential to her character development.

“I desperately need to believe that I can still pull off a perfect night for my mother. I’ll make it work. An hour and a half of prep time was overkill anyway. I just won’t wash my hair; maybe I’ll put it up instead.”

Ivy is desperate to impress her mother throughout the novel. Her mother’s hair—which is always in a perfect French knot—serves as a symbol of her perfectionism. The fact that Ivy thinks of her hair as she convinces herself things will be okay demonstrates her mother’s powerful influence on her thinking and behavior.

“I only have one customer. One of the guys I work with at Ziggy’s Diner gets migraines that his doctor won’t treat, so he takes the Oxy for that. I thought I could keep an eye on him, make sure nothing bad happened, and everything would be okay.”

In this passage, Autumn attempts to convince Mateo and his friends that no one is harmed by her selling drugs, pointing to the moral integrity that both Autumn and Mateo attempt to maintain even as they do what is needed to provide for their family’s needs. The fact that Autumn’s customer, like Mateo’s mother, is a patient receiving improper care underscores Autumn’s strong moral compass, foreshadowing her innocence relative to Brian Mahoney and Charlie St. Clair.

“Come to think of it, though, I probably felt more at home here before she became my teacher. This room was just about art back then. […] There was no desperate yearning to be noticed, no confusion and guilt when I finally was.”

Although Cal initially defends Lara Jamison’s innocence and justifies their relationship, he eventually realizes that she has manipulated him. This passage provides evidence of his growth as a character as he begins to recognize that their relationship has taken a negative toll on him, causing him to stop caring about the things he once valued.

“He’d have to be a true master manipulator to pull that off, and I’d have to be a complete fool not to have seen it.”

This passage provides an example of McManus’s frequent use of foreshadowing. Ivy’s instinct that her brother Daniel is not only innocent but downright incapable of involvement with drugs proves correct. However, the true villain, his lacrosse coach, is a master manipulator—something Ivy later feels like a fool not to have seen.

“Two girls with black ribbons in their hair wrap their arms around one another while a third girl snaps their picture with her phone. ‘Make sure you hashtag it RIP Boney,’ one of the girls says.”

This quote highlights the novel’s thematic interest in the Ethical Problems With True Crime Media, framing it as an inherently exploitative form of media with the potential to prevent truth and justice from being served. This passage suggests that the dehumanizing nature of true crime causes people to think of murders—even of their friends—in terms of hashtags rather than human lives. 

“He meets my eyes with a predator’s gaze: alert, deadly, and totally dispassionate. ‘He was always going to die. I needed a body for the police to find.’”

Coach Tom Kendall emerges as a surprise villain (alongside Lara) in the final section of the novel, only mentioned briefly by McManus prior to his first appearance. Tom and Lara’s step-by-step descriptions of their crimes and motivations reflect the classic mystery novel structure in which the perpetrator is revealed and the mystery is explained in the narrative climax.

“Supporting this family is not in your job description. I’m sorry I allowed you to think that it is.”

The Tensions Inherent in Parent-Teen Relationships theme forms the heart of the novel. Mateo’s relationship with his mother is complicated by the fact that he feels financially responsible for their family—a role reversal from a traditional parent-child dynamic—one that, as this passage suggests, his mother believes to be inappropriate and attempts to rectify in the novel’s conclusion.

“Her hair is loose around her shoulders—Charlie was right, it looks great like that—and the sight of her makes my chest ache.”

Ivy’s mother’s perfect hair—which is always pulled back into a tight French knot—is a symbol of her perfectionist nature. Ivy’s attempts to mirror her mother’s perfectionism are reflected in her own ever-present ponytail. The fact that Ivy wears her hair down at the end of the novel suggests she is letting go of her attempts at perfection.

“I send her back panels of my latest web comic, The Shittiest Day Ever, which is by far the darkest, angriest, most emotional thing I’ve ever created. It’s also, at least according to Ivy, the best.”

McManus bookends the novel with moments of Cal showing his webcomics to important women in his life. In his introductory chapter, Cal remembers Lara saying that The Greatest Day Ever comic—also featuring Ivy and Mateo—was his best work. Echoing that opening moment, this passage suggests that Cal has completed his character arc—recognizing his relationship with Lara for the abuse of power that it was and restoring his friendships with Ivy and Mateo.