You Made a Fool of Death with Your Beauty

Feyi is impressed by the rooms they walk through, wondering if the entire house is made of glass. They skip the dining room and go to a breakfast nook in the kitchen where Alim is cooking. She notices a silver ring on a chain around his neck and knows it is his old wedding ring. She wonders about the significance of him wearing it as a necklace. She thinks it’s dangerous to be so curious, and that it was safer with Milan, who did not ask or answer questions, or with Nasir, “who had no caverns inside him” (90). Alim has made all of Nasir’s favorite dishes. Feyi tries to remember all the flavors to share with Joy later. Feyi confesses that she and Joy are fans. Both Alim and Nasir say they are looking forward to seeing her work and that it must be good or Rebecca, the curator, would not have invited her. Something about the way they talk about Rebecca makes Feyi think she and Alim have history.

Alim excuses himself. Nasir tells her there is a second, larger, more professional kitchen on the next floor where Alim tests recipes. Nasir gives her a basic tour, but there are places they do not go, which Feyi assumes are Alim’s private areas. The third floor is an infinity pool with an amazing view. Nasir asks if she wants to swim, but then Alim gets out of the pool, and Feyi is overcome by desire. She says she needs a nap. She does not like how he makes her feel out of control. She texts at dinner that she does not feel great and avoids both men. She lies in bed and tries to rationalize her feelings. She is unhappy thinking that Alim does not want her, that he does not look at her with hunger like Milan or Nasir do. She determines that the desire she is feeling is a sign she is recovering and that since she is alive, it is okay to live. She masturbates while thinking about Alim.

She wakes up early the next morning, feeling like she is herself again. She enjoys looking down at the garden, then she showers and walks through the quiet house. She comes to a courtyard garden and sees Alim already there with an espresso and a newspaper. He greets her before returning to his reading. She pours herself pineapple-mint juice and sits with him, feeling his energy and presence even when he is sitting still. She marvels that he seems to fit wherever he is. Nasir comes to join them and asks Feyi what she wants to do. She replies that she wants to do everything.

Feyi dreams about her husband, Jonah, first alive and then during the accident. She wakes from the nightmare and finds she cannot go back to sleep. She sees the beautiful stars outside her window and goes down to the garden she had seen earlier. She finds that Alim is there on one of the daybeds, looking up at the sky. He invites her to sit next to him, and Feyi thinks he looks like a ghost or a holy man in his white shirt and sarong. She admits bad dreams kept her up, and when Alim asks what they are about, she says her dead husband. Alim asks if Nasir told her how his mother died. Feyi is surprised, as she is used to people trying to coddle her when she talks about Jonah. Instead, Alim tells her how his wife drowned in front of them when she got caught in a tide. He says he does not mean to trade war stories but wants to let her know he understands her pain. They ask each other how long it has been and each knows down to the day, despite it having been over 20 years for Alim. Feyi asks if he has loved since, and then feels she has gone too far. He says he likes her bluntness. He has loved again, but it was other things instead of a person, such as his children, work, and memories. Alim asks her if she loves Nasir, and she cannot answer. Alim says she does not have to answer, that he was more curious if she had loved since Jonah. She begins to cry, feeling stupid because he was simply asking her a question she had asked him. He apologizes for making her cry, but she excuses herself to go back to bed, though she stops and asks him not to tell Nasir. He promises he will not.

Alim’s daughter Lorraine is visiting the house for breakfast. She acts coolly toward Feyi. Feyi does not mind; the lines between Feyi and Nasir are indistinct, so she cannot blame Lorraine for keeping her distance. Lorraine and Nasir joke about their father’s going to the top of the mountain to watch the sunrise. Feyi says she would like to see it, and Lorraine makes a dig at Feyi, saying it is a good tourist thing to do. Nasir notices that Feyi is not as affectionate as she had been, and Feyi says being around his family has thrown her off. He says he understands and asks if they can make out more when they get back to Brooklyn. She says yes but feels hesitant.

Feyi ends up alone with Alim at the breakfast table and asks how his work is going. He says he likes the time when the restaurant is taking a hiatus because he can experiment. Feyi says she would like to watch him work, and this surprises him. He asks if she likes to cook. She says she likes to eat, and his comment that they are a perfect match makes her wonder if it’s an innuendo. He continues by saying that a watching presence can create a playful alchemy and that he likes teaching. Feyi cannot believe a Michelin-starred chef is offering to give her lessons. He tells her he will knock on her door at 4:30 the next morning for the hike.

Alim and Feyi make it up the mountain for the sunrise. Alim is standing close behind her, and she curses Joy in her head for suggesting the crush will disappear, but to her relief, her attraction is under control. They sit and the sunrise, and then Alim confesses that he has loved again since Marisol, a male painter named Devon, but that his family made him choose between them. He had thought his children knew about his sexuality, but they did not, and they did not respond well. He says he made the correct decision, as his children are the lights of his life. Feyi hugs him, but he pulls away from her. Feyi is embarrassed, and he apologizes for disregarding boundaries. She says she appreciates that they can talk about their spouses and hopes they are becoming friends. Feyi admits she fell for someone since Jonah, too, and that it was Joy. But Joy did not feel the same way about Feyi. Alim points out that Joy is still in her life and Feyi admits that she has discovered there are many ways people stay committed to you even if you are not together. Alim tells her she is wise, and Feyi is reminded of their age gap. Feyi jokes that this is the most bisexual conversation she has had in a while, and Alim laughs, lightening the mood. He says she is a delight, and they go back down the mountain.

Feyi cries in the shower about the way Alim pulled away from her on the mountain. She avoids Alim for the next few days, concentrating instead on prepping for the exhibition. Nasir drives her down to town to the museum to work on a piece for the show, which is called “Haunted.” Rebecca is happy to meet her in person, but Feyi cannot help thinking of her and Alim being a couple. Nasir wants Feyi to see the family house that Lorraine still lives in, and Feyi notes that Nasir’s sister does not really like her. The next morning, Lorraine makes them breakfast in the family home. It is good despite Nasir’s saying she cannot cook. Feyi asks how Lorraine can keep living in the house that must remind her of her dead mother, saying she had to move out of their place after Jonah passed, and Nasir says she loves living there. He adds Lorraine might not know how to treat Feyi because she is the first woman he has brought home. He says they will need to talk about their relationship status when they get back to New York, and that right now Feyi needs to focus on her art. Nasir shows Feyi a photo of the family when their mom was alive.

Feyi spends the day working. Back at the family home, Lorraine has ordered take-out, and they watch TV and have a nice evening together. The next evening, Feyi finishes her installation and thanks Jonah when she hangs her last object. Rebecca comes to look at it and says it looks great. Nasir drops her at the house on the mountain before going to run errands. She wanders through the house, following the sound of music until she ends up in Alim’s test kitchen. He is cooking and listening to the Spanish singer Buika. He is surprised to see her but gestures for her to sit. He pours her drinks and hands her samples of what he is working on. He holds out a finger with mousse on it and she licks it off his finger. He pauses, then puts his finger back in his own mouth. Feyi finally sees hunger for her in his eyes, but he turns away and continues cooking. It makes Feyi feel lonely and foolish, so she leaves, but not before Alim raises a hand to say goodbye.

The night of Feyi’s opening, she dresses in a dark red dress. Feyi is starstruck by some of the other artists she meets, but Rebecca reminds her that she has earned her spot there. Feyi enjoys watching people experience her work. It is a mirrored room with gold wedding rings hanging from the ceiling. Jonah’s bloodstained ring hangs at the center. She muses that showing a work like this is like screaming in public until someone understands what happened to her. She sees Alim come in and notices he immediately spots the blood-covered ring, touching the ring that is on a chain around his neck. She realizes he understands her. She is about to speak to him when Rebecca asks her to come meet someone. It is a collector named Pooja who wants to commission a work. She offers to pay for Feyi to stay on the island for another few weeks. When Alim walks up, Pooja introduces them, but Alim says Feyi is currently his guest. Pooja is thrilled and says she will see them both at dinner. Alim says she looks spectacular, and she says he also looks beautiful in his white tunic and eyeliner. The comment takes him by surprise. He starts to talk about her piece, and she stops him, saying they should talk in a more private place. She asks instead about the dinner Pooja mentioned, and he says it was Nasir’s idea that it be a surprise. He has cooked a special dinner in her honor. Feyi feels bad, but Alim jokingly notes that it’s a good marketing strategy, that now everyone will know who she is. He tells her he will see her at home, and Feyi thinks that the house on the mountain with Alim could be home.

The dinner is more of an afterparty. Feyi changes and goes down with Nasir where the guests toast her. At dinner, Alim introduces each course, and Feyi has to fight the feeling that he is speaking just to her. Feyi misses Joy and does not know how to manage her feelings. She tries to fix it by drinking and finds she has had too much. Feyi fights tears as Alim talks about the lionfish’s poison being a metaphor for grief. She recognizes the flavor of what she ate off his finger. After the meal, Nasir talks with her about the commission and tells her he will be gone for a week for business. Feyi considers this to be enough time to complete the work. Rebecca makes Feyi get up and dance with her, and Feyi enjoys it, thinking it has been a long time since she danced. She goes into the courtyard and makes a deal with Pooja for $15,000. She goes back into the house elated, only to see Rebecca and Alim doing a sensual, slow dance called kompa. Feyi leaves the party and cries in her room until Nasir drunkenly knocks on her door. She lets him in, and he passes out on her bed, saying “love you” before he falls asleep. His words make her feel dread in her heart.