Woman at Point Zero

The author of Woman at Point Zero, Nawal El Saadawi is also a character in the story, given that it’s based on a true account of her interaction with Firdaus during the final hours before her execution for murder. Saadawi’s Preface is from her own perspective, explaining why she chose to write the book:

Firdaus is the story of a woman driven by despair to the darkest of ends. This woman, despite her misery and despair, evoked in all those who, like me, witnessed the final moments of life, a need to challenge and to overcome those forces that deprive human beings of their right to live, to love and to real freedom (iii-iv).

Afterward, the story begins with her many failed attempts to meet Firdaus, the feelings of sheer rejection by the world that accompanied it, and the way that Firdaus’s agreement to meet her seemed to pick her up to heights she had never experienced before: “The sky was blue with a blueness I could capture in my eyes. I held the whole world in my hands; it was mine” (6). Saadawi was studying female prisoners as a psychiatrist and was hoping to hear the unique perspective of Firdaus, a woman who refused to live or to fear dying. Saadawi steps into Firdaus’s cell and is swept up into a dream state as she hears the story of Firdaus’s life. Afterward, she watches as Firdaus is taken away for execution, never faltering for a moment. Saadawi’s narrative captures her admiration for Firdaus’s courage, her resolve, and her refusal to bend for the patriarchy.

The story depicts Firdaus’s uncle as someone whose morality is uneven at best and abusive at worst. He provides things for Firdaus that her parents didn’t, such as a stable source of food and the opportunity to attend school, but also refuses to let her attend university, believing it’s for men alone, and robs Firdaus of her ability to feel pleasure at a very young age when he begins molesting her. Her account captures the moment: “I closed my eyes and tried to reach the pleasure I had known before but in vain. It was as if I could no longer recall the exact spot from which it used to arise, or as though a part of me, of my being, was gone and would never return” (15). While Firdaus had experienced pleasure with her childhood friend, the touching she experienced from her uncle was completely different. She felt nothing except cold emptiness and knew instinctively that it was wrong.

When Firdaus’s parents die, her uncle adopts her and they move to Cairo, where he soon marries a woman who clearly dislikes Firdaus. She insists on sending Firdaus to boarding school, and Firdaus rarely hears from her family while there. After graduating, she returns home, but her uncle and his wife force her to marry a retired man over 60 named Sheikh Mahmoud. Not only is Mahmoud much too old for Firdaus’s taste, but he’s also violent, controlling, and “disgusting.” Firdaus tries to seek shelter with her uncle when Mahmoud begins abusing her, but her uncle’s wife simply replies that it’s something she must accept:

She replied that it was precisely men well versed in their religion who beat their wives. The precepts of religion permitted such punishment. A virtuous woman was not supposed to complain about her husband. Her duty was perfect obedience (44).

A teacher at Firdaus’s secondary school, Miss Iqbal is someone for whom Firdaus develops deep feelings of love. One night, Firdaus is sitting out in the playground, reflecting on life and her future. Miss Iqbal approaches her and comforts her by crying along with her. She and Firdaus take each other’s hands and stare into each other’s eyes, and Firdaus experiences the same feelings of love and comfort that she once felt from her mother. The moment is later mirrored in the experience that Firdaus has with Ibrahim. Afterward, Firdaus becomes preoccupied with the thought of Miss Iqbal, constantly searching for her, glancing behind her, and wondering why Miss Iqbal seems only to treat her like the other students. Miss Iqbal also helps Firdaus accept her graduation certificate when she feels frozen to her seat, and when she takes Firdaus’s hands, the same emotions wash over her once more. When Firdaus’s feelings for Miss Iqbal are questioned by her friend, Firdaus replies, “Never” (31). Firdaus’s own denial and lack of understanding about her feelings toward Miss Iqbal is a sign of the repression of the society in which she grew up. When Firdaus leaves secondary school forever, Miss Iqbal is the last thing she thinks about.

The only man that Firdaus ever falls in love with, Ibrahim doesn’t return her love. She meets him at her office job, and he approaches her the same way Miss Iqbal did. While Firdaus is sitting alone, he comes to console her, and they share a tear together before gazing into one another’s eyes. Firdaus feels that familiar and desperate pang again: “It made my body tremble with a deep, distant pleasure, older than the age of remembered life, deeper than the consciousness carried within me throughout” (78). For the next few days, she and Ibrahim spent hours talking and eventually making love. Firdaus thinks she has finally found someone who will comfort her and respect her, but before long she finds out that Ibrahim is marrying someone else. Suddenly, she realizes that Ibrahim was using her for sex and experiences terrible heartbreak. She quits her job and returns to sex work—but this time with a refined perspective on the purpose and nature of sex work. When Ibrahim returns several years later and wants to pay Firdaus for her services, she knows for certain that he never really loved her.