We Should All Be Feminists

“I often make the mistake of thinking that something that is obvious to me is just as obvious to everyone else.”

Adichie is referring here to her personal experiences of sexism. Such experiences are often ignored or dismissed because they’re quiet, habitual, or both. This line also anticipates Adichie’s later discussion of different systems of oppression—and how one oppressed group can be oblivious to the experiences of another.

“We have evolved. But our ideas of gender have not evolved very much.”

Adichie is referring here to how men outnumber women in prominent leadership positions. She states that this male dominance was natural a long time ago, when our world was less complicated and physical strength was an important attribute for dominance, but that it makes less sense in our modern world, in which effective leadership requires attributes other than physical strength—attributes that men and women share equally.

“The waiters are products of a society that has taught them that men are more important than women, and I know that they don’t intend harm, but it is one thing to know something intellectually, and quite another to feel it emotionally.”

Adichie is referring to an experience that she often has as a woman: being ignored by waiters and other service people. Despite its frequency—and her awareness that the waiters’ behavior springs from habit and custom rather than personal dislike—it never ceases to hurt her. Her point is that she shouldn’t be obligated as a woman to rationalize this behavior and that we experience the world emotionally as well as intellectually.

“I am angry. We should all be angry. Anger has a long history of bringing about positive change.”

A common stereotype of feminists is that they’re angry, the implication being that their anger is immoderate and that anger is an unattractive attitude in women. In owning up to her anger, Adichie means to reclaim it as a legitimate emotion—one that can be constructive as well as destructive. While she’s speaking of anger, her tone is measured and level, emphasizing the resolve behind her anger.

“We spend too much time teaching girls to worry about what boys think of them. But the reverse is not the case.”

Adichie writes about the different gender roles that boys and girls are taught. Boys are taught to concentrate on their own ambitions and desires, she writes, while girls are taught to concentrate on boys. She believes that such roles hurt boys almost as much as girls, as they teach boys to be tough and unemotional. This often leads to men who are insecure as well as aggressive—and to women who feel a need to placate these men.

“Gender matters everywhere in the world.”

While Adichie is writing about her own experience as a Nigerian woman, confronting sexism and anti-feminism in her African culture, she also highlights the existence of sexism in the US (where she lives part time). She first delivered her speech at a forum dedicated to African issues, and it’s aimed in many ways at Nigerian people. However, she’s also careful to identify feminism as a worldwide imperative, which is another meaning of the speech’s title.

“What if we decide to simply dispose of that word—and I don’t know if there is an English word I dislike more than this—emasculation.”

Adichie dislikes the word “emasculation” because it’s often directed at women even though it refers to men. It connotes an imperative that women should contain themselves—shouldn’t be too outspoken, successful, or independent—so as not to threaten men and “emasculate” them.

“It is easy to say—but women can just say no to all this. But the reality is more difficult, more complex.”

Adichie is referring specifically to the social pressure for women to get married at a certain age, a pressure that exists less for men. Her point is that this pressure is real even when it’s not stated outright—and that saying “no” to such a pressure isn’t simple or easy. In addition, putting the onus on women to resist such pressures, while also expecting women to be compliant and likeable, is an unfair paradox.

“We teach girls shame.”

Adichie writes that girls are often made to feel responsible for the aggressions of boys, as if girls are to blame for them. This responsibility is implied in the imperative for girls to dress modestly and avoid unsafe situations. A constant need to police and contain themselves often leads girls to feel that something’s inherently wrong with them; this exemplifies internalized sexism.

“But what matters even more is our attitude, our mind-set.”

Adichie’s essay focuses more on attitudes and social mores than on politics or policy. She’s making the case that combatting sexism has as much to do with introspection and changing minds as it does with making legislation; that we cannot do the latter without doing the former first.

“I have chosen to no longer be apologetic for my femininity.”

Adichie is referring to her traditionally feminine African style of dress and her decision to dress in this style even in circumstances where she might be expected to wear a suit. This is her way of stating that she can be both feminine and serious—and that she dresses to please herself rather than men. More broadly, it’s a way of stating that many different styles of feminism exist in the world.

“Gender is not an easy conversation to have.”

Gender is a contentious subject, Adichie writes, because to challenge traditional masculine and feminine roles is to challenge social custom. It’s also contentious because much about sexism is subtle and hard to notice unless you’re the person on the receiving end. To keep drawing people’s attention to small injustices that they might otherwise not notice is hard but important work.

“Feminism is, of course, part of human rights in general—but to use the vague expression human rights is to deny the specific and particular problem of gender.”

Adichie points out that sexism—as much as racism or class prejudice—is a historical injustice. To combat sexism is not to deny her engagement with human rights but to highlight her experience as a woman, which is part of her humanity.