Touching Spirit Bear

Cole explains his anger. He admits that he trusted no one at the time of his initial sentencing; he thought he was just being banished or punished. Members of the Circle doubt his sincerity due to his past lies, and nobody seems to believe he should go anywhere but jail. Garvey is the only one who defends Cole, noting that he seems to have changed in some fundamental way and that that change should be “allowed to continue” (94). When it is Edwin’s turn, he calls Cole forward. He shoves Cole gently, noting that he only moves a little, and then gives him a hard shove that sends him to the floor. Edwin explains that people can change in tiny increments or through “a single and sudden traumatic experience” (95). He feels that Cole’s near-death experience pushed him in a new direction, noting that Cole did not fight back just now when Edwin pushed him down (as he likely would have before). The Keeper asks if Cole saw a Spirit Bear, and Cole confirms it. Edwin supports Cole’s claim, explaining that his friend saw a white bear on an island near Cole’s a few weeks before. Peter’s lawyer insists that Cole is a danger and a liar. Cole gets the feather again and says that “it takes a stronger person to ask for help and to tell the truth” (97).

In the weeks after the meeting, Cole exercises to keep from stiffening up, and the Circle continues to meet without Cole. Edwin visits Cole once in a while, asking him questions without explanation. One day, Edwin and Garvey come to visit Cole together. They ask Cole why he believes he has changed, and Cole explains: “When I thought I was going to die, I felt like just a plant or something, like I wasn’t important. I didn’t know why I even existed. That scared me […] I realized that I was dying and I had never really even lived” (98). Edwin reveals that he and Garvey convinced the Circle to allow them to take Cole into their custody: Cole is going back to the island.

Cole returns to the island, this time without handcuffs and much wiser about his vulnerability as a living organism in nature. Spring has settled in. Unlike last time, Cole had to sell his belongings to fund this excursion; he must also build his own shelter. He knows this is his absolute last chance and feels excited to prove to himself that he can do better. He wonders if the Spirit Bear is “still out there prowling like a ghost under the thick canopy of spruce trees” (100).

Edwin and Garvey plan to stay with Cole until his shelter is built but offer him no help in doing so. Cole prepares a fire and cooks hot dogs for the three of them. Garvey compares life to a hot dog and tells Cole to eat. When Cole describes the experience as “okay,” Garvey begins humming a tune, which Edwin joins in; it is a song of friendship. Garvey tells Cole that the song has no words “because each person makes up his own. That’s how friendship is" (102). He cuts the hot dog into three and hands pieces to Edwin and Cole, toasting their friendship. Garvey remarks that his hot dog was a celebration and a feast because he chose to make it into one; Cole’s hot dog was mediocre and nothing more than sustenance because that was all he treated it as. Garvey tells Cole to make his “time here on the island a celebration” (103).

Cole is not alone on the island yet, and he appreciates Edwin and Garvey’s company and protection. As he tries to fall asleep on their first night, he thinks of the Spirit Bear and wonders if it is nearby. He also thinks about his mother, his father, and Peter. The night deepens, and Cole starts to feel angry as he thinks about the long days and nights ahead. Finally, he falls asleep.

Edwin wakes Cole what feels like only moments later, though dawn is breaking. Edwin hands Cole some boots and takes him to a stream and pond. Edwin insists that they swim together; the water is freezing cold. He holds a stick in his hand, telling Cole that the right end symbolizes Cole’s happiness while the left end represents his anger. He tells Cole to break off the left end to get rid of his anger. Cole does so, and Edwin points out that the left side still exists. No matter how many times Cole breaks the stick, there is still a left end. Edwin explains that “people spend lifetimes breaking their stick to get rid of anger. But always anger remains, and they think they’ve failed” (107). He notes that although Cole’s anger will always be there, he can choose instead to focus on happiness. Edwin confesses that he came to this pond when he was banished on this island; he says the pond presented him with the choice of focusing on his anger or his happiness. He advises Cole to return to the pond whenever he is feeling angry, though he warns him that when it becomes too cold to do so in the winter, he will need to find other means of “looking at the right end of the stick” (108). As they leave the pond, Cole admits that everything Edwin said made more sense than what therapists have told him.

Cole and Edwin return to camp and find Garvey awake. They see humpback whales in the bay. Edwin and Garvey remind Cole that he will be building his shelter alone, and Cole scarfs down some cereal for breakfast. By the time supper rolls around, Cole has the cabin partially built.

After dinner, Edwin insists that they all dance around the fire. He makes a speech about the powers both outside and within a person, such as the sun and wind, or anger and happiness. Because they saw whales that morning, he decides they will “dance the whale dance” and will each speak about what they learned when they saw the whale (111). Edwin moves about the fire like a whale, dipping in and out of imaginary waters; Garvey takes his turn next. When it is Cole’s turn, he feels embarrassed but does his best to dance like a whale. He immerses himself in his imagination, pretending he is migrating, catching fish, and breaching. After everyone is finished, Edwin announces that he has learned about the whale’s grace and gentleness. Garvey learns that “the whale is also smart and powerful” (112), and Cole admits, “A whale migrates but doesn’t have a home […] I feel like the whales” (112). After several minutes of silence, Garvey decides it is time for bed. Before Cole goes to bed, he asks Edwin if there is a dance of anger. Edwin tells Cole it is a difficult dance involving facing and releasing one’s anger and says that Cole will only do that dance when he is ready for it.

The next morning, Edwin takes Cole to the pond again, reminding him that he must return there until he has “a choice between anger and happiness” (113). On the way back, Edwin picks up a large stone and hands it to Cole, instructing Cole to pretend the stone is his ancestors and to try to understand the way his ancestors learned and struggled, leading to his existence now. They reach the top of a hill, and Edwin tells Cole to put the stone down and now imagine it as his anger. Cole pushes the stone down the hill as if his anger is rolling away. Edwin recommends that Cole do this every day to learn respect and find meaning. Cole begins to feel like Edwin is imposing his own past on Cole, and the two go back to camp in a huff.

Cole and the men spot a wolf across the shore drinking from a stream. Garvey decides that they will “dance the wolf dance” that night (116). Cole is already building the roof of his shelter and works hard to finish, although by nightfall it is still not complete. By that time, Cole is exhausted and decides to bypass cooking supper. Suddenly, Garvey announces that Cole’s attitude has not changed and that he should return to Minneapolis. Cole decides to stay up and prepare supper. He apologizes for his attitude, and Edwin tells Cole to go soak alone and roll his anger away in the morning: They will then see if he has learned anything. Garvey and Edwin leave without performing any wolf dance, but Cole decides to do the wolf dance by himself and feels “the power of the pack working together” (118). When Cole goes off to bed, Garvey asks what he learned. Cole answers, “That you need the help of others, like a wolf pack” (118), and Edwin tells Cole to enjoy his morning soak.

Cole awakes early the next morning to head to the pond. The air is chilly, and as Cole walks along, he wonders if Garvey and Edwin’s threats the night before were serious. As Cole sits in the pond, he tries to be calm like Edwin. He notices a fish swimming near his legs. For the first time, Cole starts to enjoy the isolation and the cold water. He finds that it numbs the pain from working on the shelter, and when he is finally done, he feels different somehow. Breathing deeply and soothing himself, he moves on to the stone. Cole lifts it up the hill deliberately, imagining “each step as a day in his life” (120). Looking back down the hill, he realizes he has come a long way since the day he attacked Peter. He wonders about his purpose in life. When he reaches the top of the hill, Cole releases the stone, along with his anger and blame. As the rock rolls down the hill, Cole feels lighter and lighter, and as he heads back toward camp, he sees a white shape, possibly the Spirit Bear, off in the trees.

Cole returns to camp and apologizes, explaining that he learned the importance of avoiding blaming others and taking responsibility. Cole references his father’s actions, saying, “He must be just as scared as I am. He doesn’t want to be mean; he just doesn’t know any better” (122). Edwin asks how they can know Cole is not lying, but Cole does not care; he knows he will be fine because he knows how to deal with his problems now. Edwin tells Cole to finish the cabin, implying that he can stay, and Cole is elated. He gets straight to work, and by the end of the third day on the island, his shelter is complete except for the stove. It has a window, a finished roof, and a large, heavy door. When Cole stands back to admire his work, he is “glowing with satisfaction” (123).

For his last meal with Garvey and Edwin, Cole makes something special: spaghetti with fried onions and peppers, with biscuits on the side. Cole also spreads the at.óow across the table and places a candle in the center of it. When he is done preparing, he announces, “We’re having a feast” (124); he also wants to do the Spirit Bear dance, confessing that he believes he saw it again that morning. Around the fire, Cole is the first to dance. He imagines his first experience on the island and turns it into a dance, reliving each moment in thought and action. He pretends to be the Spirit Bear licking up Cole’s spit and walking “proudly off into the dark” (125). Edwin and Garvey each take their turns as well, interpreting the Spirit Bear in their own ways. Cole feels affection for them as he watches.

The next morning, Garvey and Edwin accompany Cole to the pond. Garvey is not used to it, but Cole and Edwin settle in right away. They sit together in silence. Cole gets out when he feels ready, not worrying if the other men will think he is weak for doing so. Cole then walks with them up the hill and rolls away his anger. Back at camp, Garvey and Edwin get ready to leave. Garvey hands Cole a gift—a hunting knife in a sheath. He tells Cole to let the knife help him heal as he carves wood. Edwin remarks, “You can never heal completely until you discover one thing” (127), refusing to say more. As Cole watches the boat take off into the ocean, he realizes that unlike last time, he no longer feels angry—just afraid.