Things We Hide From the Light

Lina, over coffee with Naomi, considers what Nash means to her. They’ve been emotionally intimate, and she feels the powerful pull of sexual attraction, but she still has misgivings about telling him she is in town to track down a Porsche stolen by the same theft ring whose boss had him shot. She asks Naomi when she was sure she loved Knox, but Naomi points out that love is not about being sure: “The more you know and love and respect your partner, the more vulnerable you are together” (204). As she and Naomi sit in the coffee shop, women they know from the library, the gym, and Knox’s bar pass their booth and say hello. Lina feels like she is part of the town, “within Knockemout’s gravitational pull” (207).

Lina heads to the women’s prison north of town to talk with Tina Witt, Naomi’s twin sister, who used to be involved with Duncan Hugo. Lina explains her mission: to recover a Porsche worth half a million dollars. Tina swears that the weekend that Nash was shot, Hugo’s henchmen had not taken a Porsche. She has no idea who actually shot Nash. She guesses, however, that Duncan was trying to impress his father by killing the police chief, but that he “fucked up the hit” (210). After Nash’s shooting, Duncan’s father upbraided his son for his stupidity: In his clumsy efforts to retrieve a computer file with the names of informants, Duncan had nearly brought the FBI down on the entire organization. When Lina asks where Duncan went after the botched shooting, Tina is no help.

Nash is surprised when he goes to his office to find his father Duke waiting to see him. Duke, once a striking figure Nash worshipped, emotionally imploded after Nash’s mother’s death in a car accident. Now, Duke looks much older than his 65 years. He is unhoused, has addictions, and is a “failure” in his son’s eyes. Duke assures his son he is starting a rehab program and that part of his recovery is to make amends with those he wronged: “I didn’t do right by you and your brother” (220). He cautions his son not to live in the dark: “It’s no life” (221).

Nash decides it is time to give his life purpose. With Nolan in tow, he heads up to the women’s prison. They arrive just in time to see Lina departing, but when he phones her, Lina lies about being there. Nash heads to the prison’s front desk and, flashing his badge, asks for the visitors’ list for Tina Witt.

Burning with rage, Nash heads to Lina’s apartment, surprising her. He notices a cache of file folders on her table, among them one on Duncan Hugo and explodes: “Why the fuck have you been paying Tina Witt visits and looking for Duncan Hugo?” (228). He threatens to leave if she does not come clean. Lina admits that she is investigating a stolen vintage Porsche, but claims she had no idea about Nash’s shooting before being assigned to the case. Nash doesn’t believe her: “I trusted you, Lina, with my darkest fucking secret” (233). He accuses her of using her looks to pump him for information on Duncan Hugo and threatens to arrest her if she tries to horn in on police investigations.

Days later, Lina goes to Waylay’s soccer game. Naomi and Waylay greet her, but Knox says nothing. Naomi tells Lina that Sloane, the perpetually horny blonde librarian, had decided to make a play for Nolan, the marshal shadowing Nash.

Nash shows up for the game and immediately demands that Lina leave his family alone, since she has been lying to all of them. Pressed, Lina admits why she came to Knockemout. Knox disparages his brother for not listening to his warning about Lina’s “love ‘em and leave ‘em” lifestyle (246). The exchange grows more and more intemperate, until Waylay’s teammates come over and tell the adults to keep it down. Lina decides it is time to get out of town. Although Nash tries to stop her, she departs the soccer field. As she leaves, she happens to notice a muscular guy with a mustache in the stands looking at her with “mean in his eyes” (252).

As Lina hastily shoves her clothes into her suitcase, Naomi and Sloane come to her apartment. Before she leaves town, they request a Girls Afternoon. They take a reluctant Lina to a seedy biker bar just outside of town. Lina refuses alcohol and tells her new friends about her heart condition.

She then tells them how special Nash made her feel when he opened up about his panic attacks—that vulnerability made Lina feel close to him. Naomi and Sloane confirm that the shooting left Nash “a photocopy of himself” (260). They tell Lina about Nash’s father’s opioid addiction, and Nash’s straightened childhood. Lina admits she chose a risky profession to show her smothering parents that she could take care of herself, which is ironic given that she has always kept them in the dark about her work. The bartender, overhearing, tells Lina, “Being vulnerable doesn’t mean you’re weak. It means you trust yourself to be strong enough to handle the hurt.” (263). Lina worries that she is bad at relationships, and the trio group hug.

Naomi and Sloane know someone who might have information about Duncan Hugo: the leader of the town’s motorcycle club, known only as Grim.

Lina hears from a co-worker calling in a favor: He wants Lina to pick up a rogue criminal who jumped bail. Even though Lina only deals with property retrieval, she agrees to help her friend. Her new friends tag along. The bail jumper turns out to be a young, physically harmless computer hacker. The apprehension is successful even though the man runs away; at a crucial moment, Naomi intervenes by hitting him in the face with a bag of “dog poop” (274) and Sloane distracts him further by flashing her breasts at him. The women head back to Knockemout. A police car pulls them over. It is Nash.

Nash is angry to see Lina’s face bruised and cut up from the take down: “Gone was the even-keeled lawman with a badge [...]. In his place was a fire-breathing dragon that wanted to lay waste to everything” (279). He cannot understand why he feels protective of Lina. There by the side of the road, his heart “hammering” (281), his penis throbbing, and his entire body “vibrating” with need (281), Nash admits that he is furious she lied, but that all he thinks about is Lina. Nash escorts the women’s car back to the station, where he gives Lina a speeding ticket. She decides to move back to the roach-infested motel until the insurance agency can send a replacement.