There's a Boy in the Girls' Bathroom

Bradley returns to Carla’s office and tells her he punched himself in the eye. He wanted to hit somebody but knew he’d get in trouble.

Carla asks Bradley why he wanted to hit someone. Bradley replies that he hates everyone. Carla wonders if Bradley doesn’t like anybody because he dislikes himself. Bradley says he likes himself but doesn’t like Carla. Carla says she likes him and asks him to name what he likes about himself. Bradley says he can’t talk further because he’s sick. Carla understands and suggests they sit in silence. Bradley calls Carla “weird,” and Carla says many people use that word for her. Bradley says the doctor allows him to talk a little, but he’ll die if he talks about school.

Bradley thinks Carla should tell everyone she tried to help him, but he’s too mean and nasty. Carla says that’s a lie because Bradley is nice and bright. She wonders why Bradley continues to fail. Bradley blames Mrs. Ebbel. Carla says Bradley is afraid to try to do well in school, and she asks him to create a list of topics for their next meeting so they can avoid the subject of school.

Bradley listens to Mrs. Ebbel to get ideas for his list. Kids make fun of him. A boy from the fourth grade calls him a “monster” and claims he’s from outer space. Bradley puts monsters and outer space on his list. On Halloween, Jeff’s friend, Brian, forgets to wear a costume, so he gives himself a black eye with a black marker and says he’s Bradley. The kids laugh as Bradley works on his list. He comes up with 81 topics. The list features questions about his dad and himself, wishes, and random statements like “peanut butter and jelly” and “pirates.” Instead of going trick-or-treating, Bradley asks Bartholomew and Ronnie to add to his list.

Claudia enters his room and makes fun of items on the list, like chalk. Claudia doesn’t think Carla will want to discuss these things, but Bradley claims Carla likes him and will talk about anything. Claudia replies that it’s her job. Bradley adds jobs and sisters to his list before he cries and throws the list in the trash.

Fourth-graders and third-graders continue to call Bradley a “monster.” He visits Carla and tells her he didn’t make a list. He says she is the teacher, and it’s her job to lead the discussion. Carla suggests talking about school, but Bradley brings up monsters from outer space. Carla doesn’t believe in monsters from outer space but believes there are creatures with different abilities on other planets. However, no creature is a monster, and everyone has feelings and good inside them. Sometimes, people can’t notice the good inside someone, so they call that person a monster, treat them like a monster, and, soon, that person feels and acts like a monster.

Bradley asks if “ugliness” makes a monster. Carla says beauty means different things on different planets. On some planets, people might think she’s “ugly.” Bradley doesn’t think anyone could call Carla “ugly.”

Bradley wants to know how a monster can stop being a monster. Carla says the person has to realize he’s not a monster. If he doesn’t know he’s not a monster, how can other people know?

As they talk, Bradley draws a picture of a creature with a black eye in the middle of his face and a red heart inside his chest. Bradley gives the drawing to Carla, and she hangs it on the wall.

Lori, Colleen, and Melinda approach Jeff, and Lori tells him Colleen has to ask him something, but Jeff tells them to stop annoying him. Jeff doesn’t want Colleen to ask him a question or the three girls to say hi to him anymore. Colleen declares she won’t, but Lori says hello a bunch. Jeff tells her to be quiet, and Melinda tells Jeff to be quiet.

Melinda and Jeff raise their fists, and Jeff taps Melinda’s shoulder. Melinda punches him in the stomach and then hits him in the nose, the neck, the eye, and the stomach again. Jeff falls to the ground. Lori counts to 10 and holds Melinda’s arm in the air. She won the battle, and Colleen claps for her best friend.

Bradley vows to be good. If he’s good, people will realize he’s not a “monster.” At breakfast, he complains about the oatmeal. He hates hot cereal but shouldn’t have said he hated it out loud. He needs to be good. He pretends to like the oatmeal but knocks over his orange juice. Claudia makes fun of his socks, and Bradley thanks her for sharing her thoughts. In his room, Bradley mindlessly changes his socks—donning a green sock and a blue sock—and Bartholomew and Ronnie applaud him for behaving well. Bradley thinks he might get a gold star.

Jeff comes to class with a black eye, and Shawne, a girl from class, says Jeff and Bradley look like twins. Bradley suspects Shawne still views him as a “monster,” but he’ll be good in class, Mrs. Ebbel will notice, and she’ll give him a gold star—proof he’s not a “monster.”

At recess, Jeff’s friends taunt Bradley, asking why he hit Jeff when he wasn’t looking. Bradley runs away and collides with a girl playing hopscotch. The girl threatens to tell, and Bradley apologizes. He takes refuge in the library, and the librarian, Mrs. Wilcott, warns him not to cause trouble. Bradley wonders if he is a “monster.”

Robbie tells Bradley they plan to attack him during lunch, and Bradley has to focus to not cry. He doesn’t mind getting beaten up. What bothers him is how much the other kids will like it. They’ll cheer on Jeff and his clique.

Jeff tells Bradley they’ll be waiting for him outside, but Bradley runs to the library. As the library closes during lunch, Bradley takes shelter in the girls’ bathroom. It isn’t as lavish as he imagined: It’s like the boys’ bathroom. He eats his roast beef sandwich in a stall and hears people come in and use the bathroom. Thinking the girls’ bathroom is empty, he leaves his stall. Two girls are still in the bathroom. They scream, and Bradley runs to Carla.

Bradley tells Carla he’s been in the girls’ bathroom but won’t tell her the names of the girls he saw because they probably don’t want anyone else to know. Carla calls him considerate, and they trade lunches—Bradley’s roast beef sandwich for Carla’s yogurt, sliced tomatoes, and cucumbers. While eating, Bradley tells the truth about why he was hiding in the bathroom. He says he didn’t give Jeff a black eye, and he can’t beat up a girl or a boy—Melinda gave him a black eye.

He tells Carla how wonderful the library is, with all the different books filled with words made from the same 26 letters of the alphabet. As Bradley used to write in the books and rip them, Mrs. Wilcott won’t let him check books out. Carla says the librarian will discover Bradley doesn’t want to ruin the books anymore. Bradley says he’s trying to behave, but everybody thinks the worst. Carla advises patience.

Bradley compliments Carla’s shirt, and she compliments Bradley’s mismatched socks. She thinks of something good Bradley can do: Homework. Bradley cries. He can’t do homework because he doesn’t know what page they’re on. Moved by Bradley’s emotions, Carla kisses him on the cheek.

Bradley asks Mrs. Ebbel what page the homework is on, and she tells him: Page 43. At home, he struggles with the questions, and Ronnie expresses shock that Bradley is trying to do homework. Bradley tells Ronnie he’s doing homework for Carla: She kissed him, and they’re in love. Ronnie wonders if they’ll marry. Maybe, but Bradley has to do his homework first. Ronnie says she will marry Bartholomew, who joins the conversation and offers to help Bradley with his homework. Soon, the other animals try to help solve the math problem. They all talk at once, so Bradley asks his mom for help. Claudia and their dad also help Bradley, and then Bradley and his dad work on the homework in his dad’s office, which Bradley likes. In his room, Bradley explains to Bartholomew the details of multiplying numerators and denominators.

Bradley is so excited about turning in his homework that he can’t sleep. His enthusiasm turns to panic: What if he did the wrong page, or what if Jeff and his gang steal it? On the way to school, it almost falls into the puddle. At school, he stands with his back to the wall to prevent sneak attacks. In Mrs. Ebbel’s class, he sees the kids put their papers on her desk and wonders if that is where he should put his homework. He asks Shawne, but she snaps at him. Nervously, he approaches Mrs. Ebbel’s desk. She asks him if needs something, and Bradley rips his homework in half and throws it in the trash next to the teacher’s desk. At his desk, he’s relieved but sad.