The Weight of Blood

“Struggling to rein in his annoyance, Kenny took one last sip of air before pasting on the standard generic smile he would maintain for the rest of the day. Just about everyone would want to talk to him about Maddy, but he has to remain unfazed, the same composure he kept whenever anything happened to Black people and they wanted unsaid permission from him to speak about it freely. Because if Kenny was okay with it, then it must be okay.

[…]

As the bell rang, he stole another glimpse of the Black kids rushing to class. Other than color, he didn’t really have anything in common with them, or have problems like they did. They were always making a big deal out of anything, blaming everything on racism, arguing with teachers over nothing. Kenny breezed through school, didn’t cause trouble, and had led his team to the state championship, twice […]

Besides, he had real friends […] They were the most popular kids in school, tight since sophomore year, and that brought a set of perks he’d never see otherwise. Who cares if he was the only Black guy in their crew? They never treated him different. They didn’t see color.

So why couldn’t he ever shake the nagging longing to know what the Black kids were thinking?”

The author’s use of omniscient narration allows her to delve into the thoughts of different characters and reveal their internal struggles. Even those who seem to be fine on the outside, like Kenny, have rich inner lives where they constantly doubt themselves in response to the racism, sexism, classism, and bullying going on around them. Kenny’s pretending to be “fine” is a strategy that helps him survive as a Black kid who is trying to become a football star.

“Every inch of the walls in her tight quarters was covered with cut-out pictures of women. White women, in various shades of blond, brunette, and red. In tea-length dresses at cocktail parties. In aprons serving roasted chicken to their husbands. In old Hollywood movie posters. Papa had even gone so far as to paste eyes in the collage. Blue eyes, all staring down at Maddy and her frizzy mane. Real beauties, their hair styled perfectly, milky skin immaculate…everything she could never be.

[…]

She sat on her knees and prayed to be like those women.

Just like Papa had taught her.”

The imagery of Maddy’s prayer closet symbolizes her father’s dangerous romanticization of the past and of whiteness. He wants her not only to be white but also to become a relic of an earlier era, but both fantasies of changing Maddie are impossible. This prayer closet breeds self-doubt and internalized racism until Maddy finds her powers along with her voice.

“No matter how many times she’d seen the movie, Maddy watched with bated breath as Sarah Jane passed for a white girl, even dating a white boy who eventually finds out and beats her bloody. Sarah Jane resented who she was, resented the mother who loved her fiercely, and ran away to live a normal life as a white girl. Maddy could do that. No one would ever know her darkest secret.

But Maddy didn’t want Sarah Jane’s life. She wanted Sarah Jane’s mother. She wanted someone to love her with every cell in their body.”

This passage illuminates the complexities Maddy faces in passing as white as her father has forced her to do. Her father’s insistence that every part of her Black heritage and appearance is detestable invalidates her at her core; what Maddy wants more than anything is a parent (or anyone) who will love her for who she is.

“‘Look, no offense,’ Jason started, angling himself away from Kenny. ‘But I don’t see a reason to combine proms. Springville has been doing this for years. Why change it now?’

[…]

‘Well, I think combining proms is a start toward restorative justice, community healing, and unity against an archaic practice,’ [Mrs. Morgan] offered.

Jason shook his head. ‘Prom’s not supposed to be about all that. Prom is about tradition! Our parents, even our grandparents, they all had separate proms. You just don’t get it because you’re not from here.’

‘Well, your “tradition” is rooted in segregation, the very foundation of the systemic racism that has oppressed people of color in this country for centuries.’

Jason shook his head. ‘You’re making this about race, and it ain’t about that.’

‘You call your proms the “Black prom” and “the white prom,”’ Mrs. Morgan shot back. ‘That sounds a lot like race to me.’”

Jason’s argument about tradition is, ironically, the only real argument presented in support of segregated proms, yet many students still attend the white-only prom because they agree with him despite how weak the argument is. The power of tradition is demonstrated by how many people attend the white-only prom, as well as by Jason’s dismissiveness of his teacher, who is an adult but not worthy of his respect (in his opinion) because she’s from out of town

“Jason detonated, sealing everyone’s fate in a final blow. ‘Look, it doesn’t matter what that stupid vote says! My dad already talked to the country club. He put a down payment for those of us who still want to have prom the regular way. The rest of you can do what you want! You want to party on a farm like some animals, then good fucking luck!’”

Jason’s analogy comparing people who attend integrated prom to “animals” has racist overtones because of the history of this type of language to describe Black people. Similar to blackface, which is used later, this language is a stereotypical and demeaning representation of Black people. His phrase “the regular way” underscores that in this community, white people and culture are the norm; anything that deviates from that norm is inherently less than, even animal-like.

“In the deepest parts of her, she had always known that something dark lay inside her, feral and dangerous. Something feverish and desperate to show itself.

[…]

Maddy couldn’t tell Papa. She knew how he would react—throw her out of the house for being in bed with the devil, for being a witch. Her gut told her she wasn’t any of those things, but it would take a miracle to convince him of that. Besides, she liked having something just to herself, something life changing, her own little secret. A gift from God, maybe. He had seen her struggle—with Papa and the kids at school—and decided to bestow upon her a great mercy, a gift to help protect herself. If only she really knew how to use it.

But God makes no mistakes.”

The repetition of the idea that God does not make mistakes is used to develop Maddy’s self-confidence and self-acceptance. This idea helps her realize she needs to hate or eradicate neither her own race nor her own magical powers—the facts of her birth do not render her “evil,” but rather, every person is different from birth and might have different needs, but none is inherently evil from birth. Her belief that God “sees” her struggles validates her when she’s otherwise surrounded by those who invalidate her, and she finds comfort by interpreting her powers as a merciful gift that allows her to defend herself.

“You, my child, were created in a hurricane, leaving destruction in your wake. You, as they say, are a storm with skin. Death and rebirth will follow you everywhere. How can one man who knows nothing of the weight of blood tame you? For wherever you go, there you are.”

The title of the book appears in Maddy’s mother’s journal, in reference to her magic powers, which are both a blessing and a burden. Maddy’s mother also shares the insight that, with Thomas as a father, disaster is sure to strike, but it’s less the fault of Maddy’s magic than of how Thomas will attempt to deal with the magic (by trying to pray it away).

“‘It’s okay, son,’ Mr. O’Donnell insisted. ‘We just want to talk. Clear the air. No harm, no foul.’

No harm? Jules stood there in blackface, and he had the audacity to say ‘no harm’? What about the disrespect, not just to Maddy but to him and all the Black kids in school? Why didn’t anyone see that? Why did he have to be the one to point it out?

Kenny eyed every person circling him as if he was something to be captured, as if he was the one out of control, and not Jules. The group exchanged nervous glances, avoiding his glare. His ‘friends’ were avoiding him when they should have been on his side.”

The principal, Mr. O’Donnell, illustrates how inaction and avoiding confrontations are harmful. O’Donnell acts as if he’s trying to break up a fight, but there is no fistfight—the real problem is the blackface, and ignoring it allows racist ideology to thrive. Like many characters, though, O’Donnell is more concerned with upholding the school’s reputation than with ensuring the safety and well-being of students.

“We are sick and tired of the lack of action taken by our school’s administration! There have been no consequences for the student who arrived at a school function in blackface, a disgusting racist spectacle. It is a demeaning and hurtful, stereotypical misrepresentation of who we are. Yet this school district feels this blatant disrespect doesn’t deserve punishment.

We’ve brought up issues like this to teachers and administrators before. But our complaints have gone nowhere. The lack of repercussions for these hurtful actions have forced students of color into a hostile learning environment. We demand action!”

Kali’s words describe the dangers of inaction, which in this situation is far worse than confrontation. That the school district has ignored its students’ racism invalidates the identity and experiences of the Black students and offers tacit approval of the racist pranks. Kali confronts authority in this passage with litigious language difficult to ignore: “hostile learning environment.”

“‘Okay, look. Clearly, this was…a mistake. Jules learned her lesson, and she’ll never do it again. There’s no need to overreact ’cause of some teasing. Really, kids need to toughen up these days. How d’you expect them to make it in the real world with all this coddling?’

[…]

‘How do you expect her to make it in the real world if she doesn’t know there are consequences to her actions?’”

This quote is ironic because Jules’s father, unaware of his hypocrisy, complains that Maddy will never succeed in life if she doesn’t toughen up and learn to withstand racist bullying. Meanwhile, when Mrs. Morgan asks how Jules will survive without understanding consequences, he and Maddy both whine that any punishment for her actions is unfair. Jules, not Maddy, is the one being coddled.

“Your bloodline was marinated in rage.

There will be pain in carrying this dark secret. A pain you must endure for others and for yourself.

This sickly power you hold without hands will eventually burn until you no longer can hide it. You must learn to control it. Or it will control you. But do not be a doormat. You can ease the pain by leaving all that you know. Become so drunk on life and love that it blinds you to the hate threatening to drown you. Chew on grief for breakfast, devour aches for lunch, inhale life’s acid, let it burn the costume he has forced upon you.”

Maddy’s mother correctly predicts that she’ll reach a point when she loses control of her powers, until she learns to use them properly. It’s implied that the key to this is forgetting what Papa taught her and embracing her own true self and her joy instead.

“Maddy never reacted the same way she had the day of the water balloons. Because she had remembered another scripture: Proverbs 21:23, ‘Whoever keeps his mouth and his tongue keeps himself out of trouble.’ Maybe the Lord gave her to Papa to teach her discernment. Maybe they were not lying but shielding themselves from evil.”

Despite her own better judgment, Maddy still worries that Papa might be right to force her to pass as white, after years of this idea being drilled into her head. Additionally, she employs the same survival strategy that Kenny employs for a while: pretending to not be pained by the problematic things other kids do.

“Everyone in town knew where Maddy lived, right on the border of the East and West Sides. The infamous house sat far back from the street on a hill of half-dead grass. An old colonial-style white home with black shutters, the paint and wood chipped where the birds had rammed into it all those years ago, leaving its face marred as if by acne scars.”

Houses often symbolize family and home life, and Maddy’s house is described in a gothic way that reveals the troubled nature of her family life. Parts of it are damaged, suggesting that the same is true about Maddy’s current relationship with her father and mother.

“The darkness inside your blood will wring you dry. But lessons are built in struggle.

[…]

You were born on a cusp, the smirk of the stars. This gives you great power. You are more than just a Cancer, more than just a Gemini. You are a combined force, made with the type of magic no one could steal even if they tried. You, my moon child, shine brightest in the darkness. Laugh at their feeble attempts to put out your light. Let your moon draw the oceans close so that they may bow to you.”

Maddy’s mother’s words combine imagery of darkness and light, or sun and moon, recalling her biracial lineage as well as her combination of magical and non-magical lineage. Maddy has a complex identity that cannot be reduced to one factor, as others will try to do by putting out her “light.”

“‘Black. Of course,’ Papa bellowed behind her. ‘Only jezebels would wear such a color. A harlot. The color of the darkness from which you came.’

[…] ‘How dare you dress like some whore in my house?’

Maddy couldn’t fathom what he saw. The dress looked straight out of every movie they’d ever watched together—modest, classic, and sophisticated. How could he find fault in it?

He stepped closer. ‘Madison, I am ashamed of you.’

She sighed. ‘I know, Papa. I’ve always known that.’”

The past for which Maddy’s father is nostalgic is not the real version of the past, and this is emphasized when Maddy dresses up for prom like a 1950s movie star and her father calls her a “whore” and “jezebel.” The truth is that no matter what Maddy does, her father won’t be happy because she’s biracial and that will never change. His own racism and misogyny prevent him from accepting his daughter and even drives him to attempt to murder her.

“‘All this time, I’ve only tried to protect you…because I know…I know they’re going to hurt you…These aren’t good people. Don’t you see? They’re not nice to your kind.’

‘My kind?’ Maddy balked.

‘Yes! Yes, child. Your kind. Negroes and whites were never supposed to fornicate, but I succumbed to that woman’s powers—’

‘Papa, no, stop it,’ Maddy whimpered.

‘They don’t know what to do with someone like you. I knew this. I knew they would only see you as an abomination. That you didn’t belong…anywhere.’

‘It’s why I kept you so close…It’s why I didn’t want them to know about you. They would punish you, not me. For what I did…with that woman. I didn’t want to see you get hurt, child.’”

Papa correctly observes that biracial people often face oppression in society. However, this does not mean that forcing his daughter to pass as white will protect her from harm. This actually harms her more than if he had accepted her as a parent—in that case, any racist bullying she experienced at school probably would have been less destructive if she was at least validated at home.

“Maddy stared at the pencil, the corners of her lips creeping upward. How funny that a simple sharp object had changed the entire course of her life.”

Here, Maddy is voting for prom king and queen, but the pencil to her symbolizes the bullying incident in Mrs. Morgan’s class, which changed the course of events. Ironically, this vote also foreshadows the prom election results, which will again dramatically alter the course of events.

“Michael: And your sister?

Becky: She died. In the accident. They say Maddy didn’t kill her, like she killed everyone else. Just wrong place at the wrong time. But it’s hard…really hard to keep that in mind. She was my best friend.”

This interaction between the podcast host and a guest from Maddy’s school reveals the crux of the problem with the prom night carnage: Many people can’t forgive what Maddy did with her powers because innocent people died. Furthermore, the fact that some of the targets she intended to strike, such as Jules, survived is further proof that Maddy was not in full control of her powers.

“‘We did this,’ he insisted. ‘We did this to her. This is all on us. I promised her everything would be alright.’

Outraged, Wendy scoffed. ‘Kenny, all our friends are dead. And this is because of her!’

‘Naw. All of this is because of what happened to her.’”

The night of prom, Kenny has the same insight that one podcast host, Tanya, has years later: Maddy’s powers wouldn’t have killed anyone if she hadn’t been the target of several years’ worth of racism, misogyny, and bullying. The debate over causation and who is at fault develops The Effects of Bullying and Exclusion as well as Power, Race, and Racism in the Community.

“‘Mind your own business, and be so good they can’t ignore you.’

His father’s words were tattooed on his skull, now cracked by an officer’s baton. It didn’t matter how many times he minded his business or how good he was; at the end of the day, it hadn’t saved or protected him. Just like how Maddy pretending to be something she was not hadn’t protected her. Dread mingled with angst as he thought of his future. The future so many had constructed for him. He couldn’t go back to a life of pretending not to see what was right in front of him, to minding his own business. Maddy was his business.

‘I can’t go back,’ he moaned.”

In this section, Kenny faces several problems. First, being “good,” or compliant, hasn’t shielded him from racism and violence. Minding his business hasn’t protected him. Similarly, Maddie’s attempt to ignore who she really is hasn’t protected her. In both cases, attempts to appease racist white people have failed to keep either one of them safe. “Minding [his] own business” cannot work because, as he says, “Maddie is [his] business.” He can only protect her if he stops being inauthentic and stops ignoring injustice around him. Kenny wants the opportunity to live an authentic life, and his dream of being a football star will evaporate if he runs away with Maddy.

“My biggest regret was not staying. Maybe things would’ve turned out different. Maybe my boy would still be alive.”

In his testimony, Sheriff West reflects that he could have possibly prevented some damage if he’d stayed at work later. Many characters think they could have changed the course of events if one specific thing didn’t happen, but Maddy snapped due to years of buildup of tension from many events. Still, there were several moments where characters had an opportunity to at least temper the damage, but they chose not to.

“We’ve been doing active shooter drills since the second grade. We’d all seen those PSAs warning us to look out for students who’d been bullied. But Maddy wasn’t bullied. She came into the seventh grade acting strange. Brought all that attention on herself, wearing those weird poodle skirts and that smelly sweater every day. No one did anything to her. She just hated white people. Everyone knew that. Hated us ’cause she wasn’t us, even though she was pretending to be.”

In Jules’s testimony, she provides a counterpoint to The Potential for Redemption and Change. By victim-blaming Maddie for her own bullying and by refusing to take responsibility for her actions, Jules closes off her own potential for positive change. She also contradicts herself within her testimony when she claims that victims of bullying are dangerous before claiming that Maddy was never bullied. Despite everyone’s potential for redemption, not all characters embrace this potential.

“The fact remains that [Maddy] was an innocent bystander in a long overdue comeuppance for a town holding onto outdated ideologies. And instead of holding the community at large accountable for their actions, everyone has continued to place blame on the greatest victim, creating a monster out of a young girl and using her legacy as a scapegoat to avoid self-reflection. The very title of this podcast, Maddy Did It, shows a lack of understanding of the consequences of one’s actions. To me, Maddy didn’t do anything. So whether she was a witch or not, is alive or not, is inconsequential to the larger issue at hand.”

Tanya unpacks the events of prom night and concludes that the carnage was not a result of Maddy being a witch but was ultimately a result of racism, bullying, and structural inequality swept under the rug by the school system. She argues that focusing on the supernatural issue distracts from the more important issue of racial inequality, developing the theme of Power, Race, and Racism in the Community.