The Truth About Forever

Seeking perfection is a coping mechanism that Deborah and Macy both use to handle the death of Macy’s father. Both Deborah and Macy believe that they must move on with their grief as quickly as possible—that if they pretend that they’re fine long enough, eventually it will become true, and the grief will fade away. On a surface level, Macy believes perfection is a way of avoiding “The Face”—the expression others give her when they recognize her as the daughter who watched her father die—and appearing calm and collected in front of others. For Deborah, perfection is more about pretending she’s fine and covering up the ugliness of her life. She’s not interested in renovating her late husband’s beach house because of the way it forces her to confront devastating memories. Instead, she’d much rather tear it all down and build something new and perfect. Deborah may smile and put on a show for her clients and even refuse to acknowledge the depths of her suffering, but Macy becomes increasingly worried when realizing how tired and solemn her mother has become.

Deep down, however, for both, perfection is the illusion of control; as Macy says in Chapter 10, “It’s not about being perfect, really. It’s about…I don’t know. Being in control” (193). Deborah expects not only herself to be perfect but Macy to be perfect as well. Deborah seeks to control every aspect of her life, which includes her daughter. She maintains control of Macy by ensuring she’s “the good daughter, the one she could depend onto be as driven and focused as she was” (86). Her intense judgment concerning the catering job, the crew, and Wes shows Deborah’s fear over losing control of Macy—and as a result, one major aspect of her own life. However, her high standards are harmful to Macy, who pushes herself constantly to make sure she doesn’t fall short, afraid of disappointing her mother.

When Jason emails Macy suggesting a break in their relationship, it blindsides her. For so long, just as she’s done with everything else in her life, she’s convinced herself their relationship is perfect. However, his email shows how imperfect their relationship really is. Furthermore, Macy cannot even draft a reply without feeling as if she sounds overemotional. In aiming for the standard of perfection via her relationship with Jason, Macy grasps for control of her life. She believes Jason is the solution to her problem, and when she isn’t able to feel resolved, she feels as though something is wrong with her instead of the relationship. She holds on to the relationship regardless of its imperfections, as she feels Jason is an authority of the life she hopes to cultivate. Additionally, as her mother approves of Jason, Macy achieves approval by proxy, encouraging her to keep Jason close, regardless of her growing discomfort.

In contrast, Wes makes angel sculptures from materials salvaged from junk yards. Caroline, with her art degree, appreciates the juxtaposition of angels—who are supposed to be perfect beings—being fashioned from “rusty pieces, and discards and scraps” (152). She claims, “[T]he artist is making a statement about the fallibility of even the most ideal creatures” (152). Wes’s artwork indicates his opinion on how perfection doesn’t exist and allows Macy to believe that her flaws are not failings but strengths. Through recognizing and appreciating the imperfections of others such as Wes, Delia, Bert, Kristy, and Monica, Macy realizes the benefits of her own imperfections. Furthermore, she discovers that her efforts to reach perfection have only brought her unhappiness. She loses Jason after telling him she loves him, she’s treated with condescension and malice by Amanda and Bethany, and she has no social life. By dropping the illusion of perfection at the end of the novel, Macy and Deborah find true happiness and healing.