49 pages • 1 hour read
Sarah DessenA modern alternative to SparkNotes and CliffsNotes, SuperSummary offers high-quality Study Guides with detailed chapter summaries and analysis of major themes, characters, and more.
Macy has since worked three catering jobs, each with their own chaotic moments. Despite the stress of the uncontrollable, Macy feels calm after ending her days, thinking that “those few hours of craziness relax[] something held tight in [her]” (106).
When Macy returns home, her father’s truck is in the driveway, indicating her sister, Caroline, has come to visit. Later, at lunch with Macy and Deborah, Caroline brings up renovating the dilapidated beach house their father loved so they can take a vacation there in August, like old times. Deborah doesn’t want to talk about it, and for Macy, it brings up painful memories. Caroline admits to crying and grieving all over again when she first visited the beach house after their father’s death, but eventually the nostalgia of the memories surrounding the house uplifted her spirits. When Deborah admits it’s too much for her to handle, Caroline assures them that she’ll handle the renovations.
Macy is 20 minutes late returning to the library from lunch. When the girls berate her, she realizes that she’ll never be perfect, no matter how much she tries. She’s wasted too much of her fleeting life holing up inside and never taking risks, and it’s left her feeling unfulfilled. With that realization, when Kristy asks if Macy will join them for a late-night joyride a few days later after a catering event, Macy agrees.
Kristy gives Macy a makeover in the doublewide trailer she shares with Monica. The makeover is so unlike Macy, and she becomes worried of the consequences if the night turns out poorly. Macy has the sudden urge to flee, to return to “[her] schedule as if [she]’d never strayed from it” (121). However, upon seeing the result of Kristy’s makeover, Macy is calmed by “seeing the familiar in all these changes” (122).
They head to a party in a remote clearing. The anonymity Macy has enjoyed with the Wish Catering team, who don’t know anything about her past, is fractured when Rachel Newcomb, a girl Macy used to run middle school track with, divulges Macy’s past with winning track meets and her father’s tragic death. As Rachel departs, Macy worries about the group’s reaction, but they don’t acknowledge it or express the pity Macy has come to dread from others. Instead, they support her by joking about how oblivious Rachel is. While Macy appreciates their understanding, she can’t help but mourn how quickly everything has changed; she can no longer pick and choose what to show them about herself.
An hour later, Kristy, Monica, and Macy lay on the couch in the back of the Bertmobile, talking about boys. They find out about Macy and Jason’s “break,” and Kristy mentions immediately knowing Macy was in a relationship the night they met because she didn’t swoon over Wes like other girls do. Monica and Kristy provide a different perspective on Macy’s relationship, opening her eyes to the ways in which Jason is far from perfect for her. When Monica and Kristy leave to mingle, Wes approaches Macy. They have a heart-to-heart about their deceased parents and bond over their shared hobby of running.
Caroline slowly walks Macy and Deborah through pictures of the family beach house, suggesting possible renovations. Deborah wonders if they should just tear it down and rebuild, but Macy is beginning to see its potential. A few days later, Macy and Caroline take a trip to the farmer’s market, where they find Wes selling his homemade sculptures. While Caroline admires the angels made from junkyard scraps, Macy is drawn to a small angel studded with sea glass. Wes offers it to her for free, despite Macy’s insistence on paying, while Caroline excitedly pays for several sculptures for herself.
Wish Catering works an event with Jason’s parents in attendance. The Talbots pull Macy into a patronizing conversation about Jason. Kristy, who overhears the exchange, pulls an ashamed Macy to the kitchen, outraged on her behalf by their behavior, and details the situation to the crew who does their best to comfort her. Afterward, Delia leaves for dinner with her husband and the rest of the crew heads to a party in Lakeview. Wes and Macy, who’d taken the Wish van, break down in the middle of nowhere. On their walk to find the nearest gas station, they play a game of “truth,” where they must answer any question asked with complete honesty, and the winner is determined by who refuses to answer a question first.
The game reveals a lot about themselves. It turns out that Wes went to Myers School for four months after breaking into someone’s house with friends. He also has a girlfriend named Becky, who he met at Myers and has since been moved to Evergreen Care Center after being busted with marijuana; like Jason and Macy, their relationship is on hold until she’s released at the end of summer. Meanwhile, Macy is forced to admit the details behind her complicated break with Jason and the reason she stopped running. An old man eventually comes upon them on the side of the road and brings them to a gas station.
Deborah’s stress about work continues to skyrocket as she continues her luxury townhomes project and Caroline flies through renovations on the beach house. Deborah has a gala planned on August 7 for the grand townhomes opening but agrees to a family trip to the beach house starting on August 8.
Since the night they were stranded on the side of the road, Wes and Macy have become friends. She doesn’t feel the need to be perfect around him like she does around everyone else because he already knows all her secrets.
One day, while working at the library, Monica and Kristy visit to invite Macy to lunch. Macy wavers on whether to accept because Amanda and Bethany don’t like it when she leaves for lunch. Kristy points out how miserable they look, “all milky and uptight-looking” (197), causing Macy to realize how miserable she is at the library day after day, prompting her to agree.
Kristy and Monica attempt to convince Macy to sneak out after curfew to meet up with some guys they met at a recent catering job. While getting ready, the girls stop to ogle at Wes, who is their neighbor and routinely runs by their doublewide on his nightly jogs. Macy is disinterested in going out with Kristy and Monica’s mystery guys, and Kristy believes it’s because she and Wes are secretly pining for each other, which Macy vehemently denies.
After the sisters leave with their dates, Macy heads to her car but is distracted by one of Wes’s nearby sculptures. Wes notices her on his way out and calls out to her, scaring her. He takes her to World of Waffles as an apology. They bond over the loss of Wes’s mother and Macy’s father. When Wes mentions finding his mother’s lists everywhere and attempting at first to decipher their meaning like they’re “some sort of message from beyond” (212), Macy admits to doing the same with her father’s EZ Products subscription. Wes manages to drop Macy off at Kristy and Monica’s just before they return. While Kristy complains about their disastrous night, Macy feels the opposite about her own.
Deborah ambushes Macy’s return home the following morning, and she mentions seeing the Talbots and how they informed her of Jason’s break with Macy. She expresses her concern for Macy’s recent behavior and her new friends. While Macy has become happier with her recent freedom, her mother makes her feel like it’s a bad thing. When Macy retreats to her room, she finds a note from Caroline with a package she found in the beach house, addressed to Macy from their dad. Macy can’t bring herself to open it just yet and hides it in the attic with her father’s EZ Products.
As Macy begins her work with Wish Catering, she is forced to adapt to unpredictability and accept imperfection. The severe contrast between her work with the catering team and her work at the library prompts Macy to seriously reconsider her life and carefully constructed routines. She quickly realizes that the library is miserable. As her work continues, the divide between her old life and her new one continues to grow. Amanda and Beth continue to treat her poorly at the library, but while this bothered her immensely before, Macy finds it doesn’t bother her as much anymore. In being further removed from Jason and the bubble of her former life, Macy has many realizations. Along with the realization that perfection is impossible, she begins to see all the ways in which, even when she was supposedly succeeding at reaching perfection, it was bringing her nothing but failure and misery. Her boyfriend pushed her away for getting too serious, his smart friends still think she’s below them, and she has no social life.
Wes and Bert bring Macy into their game of “gotcha,” and while Macy finds temporary relief in the chaos of Wish, it’s confined to a very specific area of her life. Outside of her job, she is still unable to take risks. Her claim that she “could do without scares, planned or unplanned, for awhile” only further illustrates her hesitancy to accept Embracing the Unpredictability of Life (96).
As Macy becomes closer to Wes, she finds her attraction to him is “completely out of [her] control” (126). The way Wes makes Macy feel is unlike the way Jason has always made her feel. Whereas Jason is the embodiment of the ideas of certainty and control, Wes symbolizes uncertainty and risk. Wes is everything Macy needs at this point in her life, and this fact is only made clearer by his instinct to find beauty and potential in flaws and imperfections. This is true with his angel sculptures and his interest in Macy. In her games of truth with Wes and her friendships with Monica and Kristy, Macy finds release in expunging her darkest secrets. Macy becomes less burdened with attaining perfection in an attempt to cover up her scars. In this section, her feelings for Wes begin to grow incrementally as their friendship deepens.
More depth is added to Macy’s character and her relationship with Jason when she deepens her friendships with Monica and Kristy. Since dating Jason, Macy has pushed away all her friends; her lack of social support increases her codependency on Jason and blinds her to the alternate perspectives friends can offer her. The conversation Macy has with Monica and Kristy about her relationship in Chapter 7 provides her with these alternate perspectives that are necessary to Macy realizing that Jason is not perfect. While she’s believed he’s made her a better person by keeping her composed since her father’s death, in reality, she’s constantly harming her mental health and self-confidence by attempting to live up to Jason’s supposed perfection and his unrealistic expectations.
Kristy’s friendship, especially, is vital to Macy’s character arc. Kristy has scars that can’t be hidden, unlike Macy and Deborah, and therefore, she’s had to cope with her grief and trauma in other ways. Her confidence in embracing her wounds and imperfections allows Macy to see how letting go of being perfect is not as harmful as she’s always believed but is, in fact, more advantageous in the long run. Kristy’s near-fatal car accident has given her a perspective on life that is opposite to Macy’s own, placing her initially as a foil to Macy’s character. Kristy encourages Macy not to be afraid of every potential upset in life but to be alive instead. Up until this point, Macy has believed them to be the same thing—that to be alive is to live in constant fear. Kristy suggests separating the two, and Kristy’s gentle insistence is consistent and pushes Macy outside of her comfort zone at every opportunity. Kristy’s influence gives Macy the confidence to embrace the renovations Caroline wants to make to their father’s beach house and agree to vacationing there despite her fears of facing its painful memories.
Deborah’s own reaction to the renovation project alludes to her Diverse Manifestations of Grief when she wonders “if it would be easier, if the foundation might the flawed, to just take it down. Then [they]’d have the lot and could start over” (147). Like the supposed issues with the house, the foundation of Deborah’s life was destroyed with her husband’s death. Rather than repairing the damage with tender love and care, Deborah would rather tear it all down and start over. She does this with her life, cleaning out and donating anything that reminds her of her husband and rebuilding her life without him, or any mention of him, in it. This way, no flaws remain, and no memories remain either. Deborah’s character arc comes much later than Macy’s as she’ll continue to hang on to her grief and The Illusion of Perfection like a lifeline until the end of the novel.
By Sarah Dessen
Appearance Versus Reality
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Coming-of-Age Journeys
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Daughters & Sons
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Family
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Fathers
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Fear
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Grief
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Guilt
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Loyalty & Betrayal
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Memory
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Mortality & Death
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Mothers
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Order & Chaos
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Pride & Shame
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Realistic Fiction (High School)
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Romance
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Safety & Danger
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Trust & Doubt
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Truth & Lies
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Valentine's Day Reads: The Theme of Love
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