The Third Gilmore Girl: A Memoir

“From childhood on, not wanting children was as unapologetic a fact about me as my ethnicity, and I was just as unapologetic about it as an adult, which put me on the receiving end of such mystifying reactions as ‘You don’t really know what it’s like to be a woman until you have children’ and ‘Are you a lesbian?’ Well, yes I do, and no, I’m not, so take it or leave it.”

Bishop’s integrity and confidence are illustrated in her description of how others responded to her decision not to have children. The repetition of the adjective “unapologetic,” combined with the statement “take it or leave it,” emphasizes her lack of interest in meeting societal expectations of womanhood. The passage is typical of the author’s frank, direct tone.

“I felt pretty there. I belonged there. I excelled there. In many ways, the ballet saved me from a life with no purpose, no sense of direction, and no self-confidence, other than having a lot of whatever the hell ‘flair’ was.”

Describing the happiness she experienced in ballet classes as a child, the author underlines The Fulfilment Derived from Artistic Expression. Bishop emphasizes how ballet provided the elements that were missing from her life: purpose, direction, and self-confidence. The use of anaphora in the triple repetition of “I” underlines the positive sense of self she gained from her dancing classes.

“But if Lucia Chase wouldn’t come to me, I’d go to her, and I knew exactly where to find her.”

Here, the author describes her decision to move to New York as an 18-year-old. For Bishop, impressing Lucia Chase, the principal dancer of the American Ballet Theatre, seemed to hold the key to fulfilling her dreams. Her fearless pursuit of the ballerina, despite Dimitri Romanoff’s failed attempts to recommend his protégé, demonstrates her Personal and Professional Resilience.

“We packed up our West Sixteenth apartment, loaded up Roy’s Mustang, and drove across the country to find work, income, and new territories to explore until it made sense to head home again.”

Bishop’s adventurousness as a young woman is highlighted by this description of leaving New York with her boyfriend Roy in search of greater dancing opportunities in Las Vegas. Her excitement at exploring “new territories” suggests a pioneering mentality. In the memoir, this openness to new challenges and willingness to adapt is depicted as crucial to the author’s success.

“And then there’s the view from backstage. Rehearsals, followed by hair, makeup, and wardrobe, followed by a pep pill, followed by showtime, followed by collapsing, exhausted, in our little cookie-cutter apartment, to rest up for exactly the same thing the next day.”

Here, the author provides a behind-the-scenes snapshot of the life of a professional dancer, contrasting the job’s outward glamor with “the view from backstage.” The repetition of the phrase “followed by” underlines the relentless nature of a dancer’s schedule, leading Bishop to use amphetamines as a coping mechanism. Meanwhile, the reference to her “little cookie-cutter apartment” reflects the relatively meager financial rewards of the job.

“Well, stop me if you’ve heard this one, but I guess I thought I could fix him. I forgot to ask if he wanted to be fixed.”

The author uses self-deprecating humor as she describes her marriage to her first husband, Peter Miller, who had a gambling addiction and was unfaithful. The interjection “stop me if you’ve heard this one” underlines how, like many women, she convinced herself he would change instead of admitting her mistake. The remark is characteristic of the author’s insightful and self-deprecating reflections on her past actions throughout the memoir.

“Very early on in rehearsals, to put the whole singing thing behind me once and for all, I stopped thinking of the show as a musical and started embracing it as a play that happened to be set to music, a fantastic opportunity not to sing but to act, to perform the gorgeously personal ‘At the Ballet.’”

Bishop’s positive mindset is highlighted as she describes overcoming the fear that her singing voice was not good enough to perform “At the Ballet” in A Chorus Line. Her reframing of the musical as “a play that happened to be set to music” and a chance to show off her acting abilities is typical of her constructive perspective.

“I thought about it for a few seconds before I sheepishly climbed down off my high horse. ‘Okay,’ was all I said, but it was a stroke of genius on his part, and Theoni’s, something I would never have come up with in a million years. They were right; I was wrong.”

Here, the author recounts her change of heart after complaining about her costume in A Chorus Line. Learning that the nude-colored leotard was chosen to make her appear childlike and vulnerable during “At the Ballet,” Bishop realized that the decision was “a stroke of genius” rather than the unflattering choice she’d been worried about. The incident underlines The Importance of Collaboration in the Arts as the expertise of the director and costume designer contributed a new element to Bishop’s portrayal of Sheila. Bishop’s acceptance that she was wrong illustrates her ability to take instruction and learn, despite her feisty personality.

“It didn’t occur to either one of us, nor did we care, that since we were both nominated in the same category, we were competing against each other for a Tony Award. A few petty people, particularly a couple of understudies who shall remain nameless, kept their eyes on us, eagerly anticipating the drama of our friendship disintegrating into jealous, catty backstage sniping, but no such luck. We were each other’s biggest fans, and no one was prouder of her than I was.”

The author provides insight into the show business industry as she recounts how she and her best friend, Priscilla Lopez, supported each other when they were nominated for the same Tony award. The disappointment of the “petty people” who anticipated “catty backstage sniping” suggests a ruthless aspect of the industry in which she did not participate. This attitude is reflected in the tone of The Third Gilmore Girl, which is consistently complimentary of Bishop’s fellow performers.

“I kept picturing a massive oak door at the end of a dark hallway, a door that opened not toward me but away from me. There was this blinding glare of sunshine-yellow light beyond it, and as I crossed the threshold and stepped into that brilliant light, I was transformed from chorus dancer Carole Bishop to actor Kelly Bishop, with endless possibilities ahead of me.”

Bishop’s positivity is again illustrated in her perspective on leaving A Chorus Line. Although she felt forced to leave the show when refused a raise, she viewed her circumstances as a metaphorical open doorway leading to exciting new opportunities. The passage evokes the concept of baptism or rebirth as Bishop envisions leaving dancer Carole Bishop behind and emerging from a “brilliant light” as “actor Kelly Bishop.”

“By the time Kevin asked to move in, thanks to A Chorus Line, I was in a garden apartment I loved, a bright, sunny place with French doors and a walk-in closet. It was on Seventy-Sixth Street between Columbus Avenue and Central Park West, a beautiful neighborhood of brownstones and townhouses, less than a block from Central Park.”

The symbolic association of apartments with life choices is illustrated in this passage. The author emphasizes that her hard work and professional success in A Chorus Line allowed her to buy a desirable New York garden apartment. However, sharing the space with a boyfriend she had lost interest in detracted from her achievement, demonstrating her personal goals had yet to align with her upward professional trajectory.

“I’ll call him Philip. (Yes, another pseudonym. Sorry. I’m not trying to be mysterious, I just have no interest in embarrassing people who don’t deserve it.)”

Recounting a brief affair she had while dating Kevin, the author clarifies that her use of pseudonyms is a deliberate strategy to protect the identity of both men. While acknowledging that readers may find it frustrating, Bishop suggests it would be unscrupulous to expose past lovers to public scrutiny. This attitude contrasts with celebrity memoirs that cater to the public’s appetite for scandalous revelations.

“I appreciated getting those jobs when I needed them, especially since they were local jobs, and that, to the best of my knowledge, doing them didn’t ruin my acting one bit.”

Bishop’s characteristic humility and gratitude are highlighted in her account of taking roles in soap operas. Ignoring the advice that these appearances would damage her credibility as an actress, she was thankful for work that required less time away from her husband, Lee.

“The last number in the movie, ‘(I’ve Had) The Time of My Life,’ which took a joyful four or five days to shoot, summed up the whole experience as far as I was concerned. It was less like work and more like four or five days of one of the best parties I’d ever been to. Surrounded by fun, wonderful, talented people.”

As she transitioned from stage to screen, the author describes her joyful experience while working on the movie Dirty Dancing. Her emphasis on the party-like atmosphere and her “fun, wonderful, talented” cast members highlight her belief that collaboration is one of the most rewarding aspects of a career in the performing arts.

“Michael and I went through a lot of highs, lows, and drama over the years, on- and offstage. In the end, though, trying to imagine how my life might have gone if it hadn’t been for the genius of Michael Bennett is an impossibility. Thank you always, Michael, for every minute of it.”

The memoir again alludes to the Importance of Collaboration in the Arts as Bishop pays tribute to Michael Bennett. While describing her personality clashes with the director and choreographer, the author acknowledges his creative “genius” and the influence he had over her artistic development. Ultimately, she suggests that the production of great art sometimes requires conflict and disagreement.

“If it’s meant to work out, it will. If it isn’t, it will just make me available for what I’m supposed to be doing instead.”

Here, the author illustrates her philosophical approach to her career. While pursuing the best opportunities available, she convinced herself there was a meaningful reason for disappointments. Bishop suggests that this attitude has allowed her to weather the inevitable rejections and unpredictability that are part of show business.

“I loved my job. I loved the brilliant dialogue and multilayered characters we got to play, thanks to Amy’s writing. I loved everyone I worked with, and the subtle, innate decency of the storylines.”

The memoir presents the TV show Gilmore Girls as a highlight of Bishop’s career. The author’s praise of the script’s sharp dialogue and the complexity of the characters emphasizes the artistic fulfillment that acting in the show provided. Meanwhile, her close bond with the rest of the cast offered contentment on a personal level.

“It just seemed to get kind of sleepy and tired from one week to the next, as if the air was being slowly let out of a big, sparkly balloon, and we could sense that the party might be ending, even though no one wanted to say it out loud.”

Here, Bishop frankly addresses the failure of Season 7 of Gilmore Girls, recognizing that many fans were disappointed by it. The author acknowledges that the show lost a vital element when writer Amy Sherman-Palladino was no longer involved in its production. The simile of air escaping from “a big, sparkly balloon” conveys how the cast’s attempts to breathe life into the flagging show were ultimately unsuccessful.

“I’ve been asked more times than I can count about my favorite part of the whole Gilmore Girls experience. Right up there at the top of the very long list is the fact that we were a company. An ensemble. There was no ‘star,’ and there’s something I’ve known about myself since I was a little girl who was falling in love with ballet: I wanted to be a performer, but I never wanted to be a star.”

Throughout her memoir, the author expresses her preference for participating in collaborative ensemble productions, whether on stage or on screen. Her experience on Gilmore Girls echoed the atmosphere of A Chorus Line, where each cast member was integral to the show. Admitting her aversion to stardom, the author suggests that her career has offered the perfect balance of artistic fulfillment and relative anonymity.

“I was starting to like spending time with me again, and I wanted and needed to keep that healing going. And what better way to accomplish that than to return to that other therapy I could always count on to see me through—I needed to go back to work, not for a day here and a day there, but a real commitment that would challenge me and reunite me with myself.”

In The Third Gilmore Girl, Bishop Gilmore emphasizes the importance of work to her purpose and sense of identity, particularly during challenging periods of life. Consequently, after Lee Leonard’s death, she realized that returning to work would be the most effective “therapy” for her grief. The decision illustrates how the author’s determination to avoid self-pity is a key aspect of her resilient character.

“In the end, I’ve come to the conclusion that as long as I’m comfortable with myself, my work, and my life, I don’t feel compelled to apologize for the fact that this is how old I am, and this is what I look like.”

Bishop’s life has been characterized by her defiance of sexist societal beliefs, such as the myth that women can only find fulfillment in motherhood. This tone is echoed in her decision not to give in to industry pressures to have cosmetic surgery as she ages. The assertion, “This is how old I am, and this is what I look like,” typifies the author’s blunt and candid tone.

“Don’t cry because you think your best days are gone. Smile because you had them in the first place.”

This maxim conveys a crucial element of Bishop’s continued positivity and optimism. The author emphasizes that mourning one’s glory days as one age is a futile and ultimately self-destructive impulse. Instead, she recommends celebrating past personal and professional achievements.

“No way would I try to talk someone out of their dream, no matter what it is. Whatever it is, I believe you immerse yourself in it, work hard at it, express yourself through it, challenge yourself with it, give yourself every opportunity to fall in love with it, and explore the adventures that come with it. If it’s the right dream for you and it allows you to support yourself, so that you’re not pursuing your dream at someone else’s expense, it will probably last a lifetime.”

Reflecting on the artistic fulfillment she has enjoyed, Bishop offers inspiration to readers, encouraging them to pursue their dreams. She suggests that a life of personal expression, passion, and purpose is always rewarding, with the proviso that it is not achieved “at someone else’s expense.”