The Running Dream

On one of her training runs, Jessica stops by the local cemetery to visit Lucy Sanders’ grave. She says hello to Lucy but stops because “I don’t know what to say. I don’t know how” (317-18). Jessica apologizes then breaks into tears, feeling “[g]uilty that I ever thought she was the lucky one” (318). Suddenly, someone calls her name, and she realizes that it’s Lucy’s mother. Jessica tells her she will never forget Lucy and begins to cry again. Mrs. Sanders hugs her and tells her that Jessica’s father has helped their family. Without his guidance, Mrs. Sanders says they wouldn’t have had the courage to pursue a settlement. They’ve reached an agreement, and Mrs. Sanders would like the money to be used for a scholarship fund in Lucy’s name. Jessica agrees that would be a good idea, then leaves Mrs. Sanders to grieve at her daughter’s grave.

Senior year begins, and it’s much easier for Jessica compared to the year before. She has found that most people have forgotten about her missing leg because of her prosthetic. The only trouble she has is courtesy of Merryl, who stares angrily at Jessica in the two classes they share. One day, Merryl approaches Jessica and tells her Gavin is only dating her because he feels bad for her, and that Jessica is his “community service project” (322). Jessica is stunned and has no comeback. Fiona tells her not to believe a word of what Merryl said, but Jessica acknowledges that it’s hard to fight against the “weeds [that] take root in my garden of unworthiness” (322). The thoughts grow back too quickly. Even when she confesses the comment to Gavin, and he assures her it isn’t true, she still wonders if it is.