The Other Woman

Sandie Jones uses the characters Adam, Pammie, and Emily to illustrate various manipulative tactics used to exert power and control in close relationships. In comparing the motivations for these characters’ manipulative efforts, Jones shows how Adam is self-serving and egotistical, while Pammie and Emily express deep concern for others.

Adam emotionally and verbally abuses Emily in an attempt to manipulate and control her. He dismisses Emily’s perspective while calling Emily’s maturity and emotional stability into question, and this gaslighting causes Emily to second-guess her sense of reality. “‘I think you’re just being paranoid.’ [...] He let out a short laugh. ‘A little melodramatic, wouldn’t you say?’” (158). Emily loses sight of her priorities when Adam minimizes her concerns while belittling her. Instead of focusing on the bigger picture and her happiness, Emily becomes determined to prove to Adam that her problems are valid and that his mother is toxic to their relationship. However, Adam couldn’t care less about Emily’s feelings. Driven by selfishness, he will do and say anything to achieve his goals. Adam withholds physical affection from Emily on multiple occasions to manipulate her. Disliking Emily’s relationship with Seb, Adam “pull[s] away, both literally and mentally. ‘So Seb’s going to sit in a bridal shop with a gaggle of women?’ he asked incredulously. ‘He’s going to see your dress before I do?’” (150). Adam makes his emotional connection with Emily conditional on his ability to control her actions and her friendships.

Unlike her son, Pammie’s motivation to manipulate and control the other characters stems from a concern for others. While faking her overbearing mother-in-law persona, Pammie concerns herself with Adam’s well-being. “Have you really no manners? Do you honestly think my son is going to stay with someone like you for the rest of his life?” (145). Pammie ridicules Emily’s mannerisms, appearance, housekeeping abilities, etc., under the pretense that her son deserves a more attractive and attentive partner. Pammie’s manipulation throughout most of the novel resembles the stereotypical mother-in-law in that she craves control over the domestic aspects of her son’s life. However, Pammie’s valid reason for manipulation is born out of concern for Emily: “‘I tried to help you,’ she said through her tears. ‘I did everything I could to warn you off, but it was never enough [...] Why couldn’t you see what I was trying to do?’” (288). Pammie’s troubled emotional state appears genuine for the first time in the final chapter. Instead of crying to manipulate others, Pammie sincerely expresses her desperation to protect Emily while admitting multiple failures as Adam’s mother. Pammie tries to save Emily in the only way she thought possible: by attempting to manipulate Emily to leave Adam to save herself.

Compared to Pammie and Adam, Emily appears to be a victim of their manipulation. However, Emily attempts her own manipulation tactics to retain her relationship with Adam. Emily uses sex and domestic chores to keep Adam happy and invested in his relationship with her: “I was all his Christmases come at once, so that when the chips were down, when he was forced to make a choice, he would choose me, because he would never be able to give me up” (215). Emily engages in sexual activity with Adam not because she wants to, but because she wants to manipulate his decisions. Emily’s priorities become confused when her determination to win over Adam overshadows her goals and desires. Emily believes that she and Adam will be happier without Pammie’s interference. Thus, her motives for manipulating Adam are not entirely selfish. Although all three characters are guilty of manipulation in their close relationships, only Adam proves to be emotionally detached from the other characters.