The Light We Carry: Overcoming in Uncertain Times

Obama recalls giving a speech at the Democratic National Convention in 2008, before her husband was elected president. Realizing that her left teleprompter wasn’t working, Obama was nervous; she felt “wildly alone—and wildly exposed” (246). Obama reflects on how she’s a planner and preparer by nature, confessing that “preparedness is part of the armor I wear” (247-48), which can help overcome anxiety and panic. Thanks to her careful preparation, Obama delivered her memorized speech smoothly.

The author recalls that as a child she always aspired to high achievements and knew that she wanted to chase ambitious goals. She was aware that many authority figures didn’t have high hopes for kids from her working-class neighborhood. Her school placed students on “learning tracks” based on teachers’ perceptions of their ability levels. This made Obama and her classmates fearful that if they didn’t maintain good grades, they could be “relegated to the group that got less” (250). While kids tend to have big dreams, they have more difficulty maintaining them as they get older and encounter more obstacles. Obama recommends embracing the paradox of preparation and flexibility. On the one hand, it’s useful to plan and be prepared, and on the other, it’s essential to remain adaptable and open-minded.

Obama returns to discussing differentness and the discomfort and tension that arise from being a minority in a certain environment. She shares an anecdote about meeting Queen Elizabeth ll and touching her on the shoulder, to the horror of some media commentators who claimed that this action violated a royal rule. Obama had a sense of being an “outsider” and that simply being herself in certain environments felt awkward and tense given that her presence seemed “conditional on our adhering to someone else’s idea of good behavior” (253).

Like many people, Obama code-switched in her youth, favoring African American diction to fit in with her neighborhood friends and standardized speech to succeed in school. Throughout her life, Obama has altered her presentation depending on the situation and audience, feeling that she had “little choice” but to try her best to fit in. She questions whether this approach should be considered normal, and points out that if society were more inclusive, people wouldn’t need to code-switch or change themselves to earn respect. Obama points to the female partners at her old law firm as an example. These women had incredibly high standards and never discussed their personal lives; they were also particularly critical of Obama’s work. Obama saw them as pioneers in a male-dominated environment, striving to prove that they belonged in their jobs. While Obama wasn’t sure that she wanted these women’s careers, she was grateful that they’d made progress in their workplace, enabling other women to succeed too. Her work at the law firm taught her the importance of being “both armored and agile” (259). Obama advises people to avoid dwelling on their anxieties about belonging and instead focus on being their authentic selves and sharing their skills and ideas.

Obama recalls the challenge of taking on the role of First Lady in 2008. She was determined to execute her role well and abide by established traditions while also bringing her own ideas to her work. She felt particularly conscious of performing well in the role given that she was the first Black woman to hold the title, and she felt the pressure of representing Black Americans well. Obama reveals that she tried to maintain the set traditions as much as possible to seem respectful of her predecessors. This pressure challenged Obama’s sense of balance, as she tried to resist becoming “too armored-up by anxiety or defensiveness” (266). She ends the chapter by hinting that others’ perceptions of her threatened her self-esteem and reputation.

Obama recalls how her husband’s political opponents caricatured her as an “Angry Black Woman” (269) in their articles and photos, and tabloids mocked her with exaggerated photos of her in angry moods. According to Obama, some media commentators used this label as a way to delegitimize her work. For example, some people reacted to her campaign for healthy eating by claiming that she favored criminalizing junk food. Obama shares that “going high” in reaction to this negative treatment was a kind of “moral challenge.” Interviewers and others often ask Obama what it means to “go high” and how this is possible in today’s tense and sometimes dangerous political and social climate. Obama insists that people must still “go high” and that this doesn’t mean giving up a fight but rather fighting with “integrity” and “decency.” Rather than denying our rage, Obama advises channeling it into an “actionable plan” that resists “whatever is shallow and corrosive around you” (276). Obama warns against indulging in reactivity and operating solely from emotions of disappointment, hurt, and anger, which she claims will only steer one off course. She refers to John Lewis’s quote that “‘[f]reedom is not a state; it is an act,’” (277), explaining that we go high when we behave with “love” and “decency” in our everyday actions.

Obama laments that modern technology has normalized reactivity and rage—and that it’s easy to quickly share opinions without considering the consequences. Even with good intentions, our penchant for quick reactions, such as likes on a post, are meaningless without ongoing efforts. Obama argues, “With a three- second investment, you may be creating an impression, but you are not creating change” (278). Obama distinguishes between reactions that are impulsive and fleeting, and responses that are more thoughtful and actions based.

She reflects on how being First Lady exposed her to “every angle of the human condition, pummeled by alternating waves of joy and anguish” (280). She’s grateful to her father for providing an example of “going high” in times of pain and challenge. Obama explains that when she used the phrase “When they go low, we go high” in a 2016 speech, she didn’t know that it would strike a chord with people and become a well-known phrase in pop culture. She hopes that it reminds people that some amount of pain and uncertainty is unavoidable but that they must maintain connections with others, especially those with opposing views. She insists that improving society requires hard work and not surrendering to cynicism.

Obama acknowledges the frustration and impatience that young people feel toward injustice and inequality. She admits that working toward goals that unfold over the span of generations can be difficult and notes that the debate between reform and revolution continues among young people today. She reflects on the progress America has made toward racial equality in her lifetime, noting that when she was an infant, activists were protesting for civil rights in Southern states. When Barack Obama’s parents married in Hawaii, interracial marriage was still illegal in many states. For Obama, this made her family’s role in the White House even more meaningful and a sign of some societal progress. She shares a story from Supreme Court Justice Ketanji Brown Jackson, who had to confront racist imagery during her time at Harvard. Jackson realized that the time and energy she and her fellow students spent protesting this imagery distracted them from their studies. This distraction was a large part of the burden of racism because it threatened to derail them from their goals. Obama returns to the problem of being negatively stereotyped, explaining that she confronted the issue by doing “serious work in a joyful way” (288) through enjoying her collaborations with kids and celebrities. Like Jackson, she learned to focus on what she wanted to achieve and refused to be distracted by those who hoped to divert her attention away from her work. She offers the same advice, emphasizing that the best way to serve oneself and one’s communities is to focus on one’s goals.

Obama wonders how our future selves will view this decade of change and upheaval, hoping that people will use their “creativity and imagination” (296) now to fuel progress and resist feeling discouraged by recent frightening events. She reiterates the importance of showing gladness for oneself and others—and using these positive emotions to reach one’s own goals: “Every latent dream awakens only when someone is glad for it” (296). She concludes her book by urging others to move past easy reactions and always “do the work” and to “stay vigorous and faithful, humble and empathetic” (297) because it’s always worth it to “go high.”