The Life and Opinions of Tristram Shandy, Gentleman

Tristram returns to the story by Slawkenbergius. Slawkenbergius has a very long nose, which the people of the town he has just arrived in are desperate to touch. This eventually leads to a religious dispute that consumes the townspeople. The narrative then shifts to focus on Tristram’s father. Walter is lying on his bed, rousing just long enough from “the sullenness of his grief” to complain about his various aches and issues (219). The prospect of a son with a flattened nose, he says, demands only one possible solution. He must name his son Trismegistus, as this name is very auspicious. When Walter refers to the day as being something akin to a “chapter of chances” (224), Tristram makes a list of all the topics that he has promised to return to later in his story. He promises that he will also include a chapter about chapters. As Walter and Toby leave the room, Tristram narrates his chapter about chapters. Toby and Walter continue out of the room and down the stairs, reflecting on the fortuitous nature of “so great a name as Trismegistus” and the various problems of marriage and childbirth (229).

This is Volume 4 of the novel, Tristram bemoans, and he has only just been born. At the promised rate of one volume each year, he worries that he will run out of life before he can complete his autobiography. He is losing ground in the narrative sense, with his writing only demanding that he write more. This, he mentions, is also true of the audience, who now have much more to read.

Susannah rushes to tell Walter and Toby that the child is black in the face. Since the child needs a name so that it can be baptized quickly (and thus go to heaven in case it dies), she demands to know the baby’s name. Walter is suddenly concerned that he may be wasting such an important name as Trismegistus on a child who will not survive. Nevertheless, he tells the name to Susannah and goes to get dressed. Just as Walter had feared, Susannah struggles to remember the complicated name and can only recall the first syllable of Trismegistus. As such, the baby is christened as Tristram by the impatient priest. Walter is told of the mistake. Rather than explode with anger, he shocks his family by walking slowly out to the pond. He leaves behind Toby and Trim, who discuss the importance of first names in the heat of battle. They are not important, the soldiers conclude. Walter returns. He launches into a speech about the numerous ways he has been made to suffer during the birth of this child.

Yorick is sent for. Walter wants to know whether the baby can be re-christened. Yorick is not sure, so he suggests that they consult a religious lawyer named Didius. Tristram skips past Chapter 24 but provides some hints of what the chapter would have included in the “chasm of ten pages” (251). Instead, he focuses on a dinner where religious scholars discuss the subject of re-christening a child. When a roasted chestnut falls down the pants of one scholar, the issue is briefly forgotten. Yorick is blamed, which is another example of the unfortunate way in which Yorick accumulates enemies. As the scholar is treated, the subject of re-christening comes up again. They discuss the matter at length, eventually coming to the irreverent conclusion that parents and their children are “not of kin” (263).

Walter returns from the dinner pleased. He has no answer to his question, but he enjoys vigorous debate. When he gets home, he remembers the difficulty of his position. Thankfully, he is distracted by an unexpected letter that names him as the recipient of £1,000, bequeathed to him following the death of his Aunt Dinah. Walter muses on how to spend the money. He could improve the family home or send Tristram’s older brother, Bobby, on a tour of Europe. He is spared a decision by the news that Bobby is dead. This, Tristram says, is the moment when his life properly began. He became the “heir-apparent to the Shandy family” (269). Hinting at as-yet-untold stories, such as Toby’s romance, Tristram is aware that he is holding his audience in suspense.