The Kiss Quotient

Over the next week, Michael and Stella find a pattern for living together. It occurs to Michael that Stella is both the best “girlfriend” and best lover he has ever had. By the end of the week, Michael realizes he is in love with her. They watch movies together and Michael draws comparisons between himself and the characters, worrying about his own inherent goodness and believing that he is a bad person. The next week, Stella arrives home before Michael and is overwhelmed by how empty the house is without him. She thinks about their time together and does not want to find anyone else, thinking she would rather stay in a relationship with him and trying to figure out how to make that happen. She plays piano while she waits for him. When he arrives, they play a duet together.

As another week passes, Stella cannot come up with a method to seduce Michael. Stella goes to Mẹ’s house for family dinner, where she finds Michael wrestling with one of his sisters. She then goes to the kitchen where Mẹ and Ngoại are pealing grapefruit. She helps, and Janie arrives. They talk about Vietnamese naming conventions before Janie, Ngoại, and Mẹ agree that Michael has been happier since meeting Stella. Michael finishes wrestling, then makes out with Stella in the hallway until they are interrupted by one of his sisters. At dinner, Stella tries the meal in its traditional form, which earns Mẹ’s approval and mends some of their discomfort from their first meeting. After dinner, Mẹ shows off a photo album filled with Michael’s childhood pictures. Stella pretends not to notice his real last name, and Michael shares that his father was disappointed in his choice of fashion as a career. When Mẹ expresses her approval of Stella, Stella becomes overwhelmed as she wonders if Mẹ’s opinion would change if she knew about her autism. Mẹ offers a traditional Vietnamese dress to Stella, and while she and Michael are getting it, Janie approaches. Janie asks for Stella’s help with her resume. Janie explains that after Mẹ was diagnosed with cancer, she had a very bad year, and her grade point average is still recovering. Stella wonders internally if the family’s financial situation is connected to Michael’s father, but outwardly discusses if Janie would be interested in the work Stella does.

Stella begins to set up an intern position for her department. Michael invites her to lunch via text, but as Stella is leaving, she is stopped by Phillip, who discusses Stella’s lunch plans and her intention to hire an intern. Phillip suggests his cousin, and Stella realizes it is only fair if she looks at all applicants, not just Janie. Phillip mentions the charity dinner the next night and prods her for more information about her relationship. He further apologizes for previous crass behavior and says he thinks they would be a good match. When Stella tries to turn him down, he kisses her, and she shuts down like she had with previous partners. She goes to Michael’s shop, where she runs to the bathroom and scrubs her mouth with soap.

Michael walks into the bathroom and is infuriated when Stella tells him what happened. She explains that she didn’t want the kiss, but he was a coworker who she once thought might be a suitable match. When Michael presses her for more details, Stella says she didn’t like the kiss because it wasn’t Michael. They have sex, and when they are done Michael grapples with the emotional situation he is in. He loves Stella but tries to remind himself that they are not in a real, monogamous relationship. Michael makes a comment about buying underwear that makes Stella think about work, then he takes her to the sewing room where he has a dress made for her. He gives it to her as a birthday gift, “‘For all the birthdays when I didn’t know you’” (231). After they eat, Stella rushes back to work, where she integrates Michael’s comment about purchasing underwear into the data she has. She believes that women buy underwear for men when they love him, and then goes to buy Michael a pack of boxers. She puts a bow on it and resolves to tell him about her autism if he loves her.

Michael is nervous as he picks out his suit, knowing he is getting ready to meet Stella’s parents at the charity dinner. Stella helps him decide and asks his permission to tell everyone her dress is a Michael Larsen original, and he realizes she knows his real name. When asked if she is angry, Stella explains that his secret made her feel untrustworthy. He explains that he hates his name because of his father, and Stella stops herself from questioning him further. He describes how much his father hurt him, and the two embrace before finishing their preparations. At the event, Stella leans on Michael for support as she prepares herself for the social interactions expected of her. She explains her anxiety about talking to people before Stella’s mother, Ann, greets them and compliments Michael’s work on Stella’s dress. She guides the pair to Stella’s father, Edward, who is sitting with Phillip. Michael realizes who Phillip is as the two tersely greet each other. Edward starts to interrogate Michael, and although Ann tries to come to his aid, their conversation does not go well. Phillip flaunts his own career and close work with Stella, making Michael jealous. When Michael watches Stella excitedly discuss her work, he feels out of place, believing she is smarter than him and struggling to reconcile her excitement with her romantic dislike of Phillip. As Michael decides that Stella could never love him, the blonde woman from the bar arrives, and she is revealed to be Phillip’s mother.

Stella becomes emotionally overwhelmed as she looks at Aliza, Michael’s over-enthralled ex-client who gave him his car. Aliza makes demeaning comments about Michael, suggesting he is an escort, but the others at the table are distracted by the implication of the two of them having sex. Michael leaves and Stella follows, but he tries to send her back. He offers her sex, but when she says she just wants to talk, he points out their differences in intelligence and specializations. Michael then tells her about his dad, Frederick Larsen, who was a con artist who pretended to own a software company but really swindled women out of money. Michael’s mother was another of his victims, with huge loans out in her name. Michael returned from New York and worked as an escort to pay off the worst of them, but then she got sick with cancer and the bills kept coming. She tries to comfort him, and he reveals that he knows she is autistic and believes her capable of getting a boyfriend on her own. Stella interprets this as Michael not wanting her and watches him leave. He calls a cab to remove his things from her home without her presence. Stella goes back inside, where everyone but her mother is critical of Michael. She angrily explains that he is paying for his mother’s cancer treatments, but their cruelty made him feel unwelcome. Her mother takes her away, and outside comforts her. At Stella’s house, Michael struggles to handle his emotions after the breakup. He packs his things and discovers the underwear she bought him, taking them as well. He leaves the check for his month of being her boyfriend, then leaves his key under the welcome mat.