The Innocents Abroad

In 1867, Twain signs up for a pleasure excursion to continental Europe and the Holy Land by steamship with a group of Americans (mainly pious religious folk) from 15 different states. The excursion, a “picnic on a gigantic scale” (5), is unique in its breadth and ambition, and the public has greatly talked about it.

The party is to depart from Brooklyn in June, travel across the Atlantic to the Azores islands, then take in Gibraltar and the coasts of Spain and France; then travel to Italy, Greece, Constantinople, the Black Sea region, and the Holy Land. From there, the party will make their way back home while passing through Egypt, Sardinia, the mainland of Spain, and Bermuda. The total price for each passenger is $1,250, with comfortable amenities to be enjoyed on board the ship including ballroom dancing. Twain is excited about the prospect of touring the “Old World” with its many historic places as well as varied and exotic peoples. 

Twain learns more details about the trip, including what sort of people will be among the passengers. He reflects on the craze for European travel among Americans, which is so strong that steamships are carrying four or five thousand Americans to Europe every month. Twain befriends Mr. Blucher, a young man also booked for the excursion.

The steamboat Quaker City sets sail on a rainy, dreary Saturday in early June. The ship must anchor at the foot of the harbor for the remainder of the day and wait out the storm. That night, the passengers attend a prayer meeting, and Twain enjoys the gentle waves lulling him to sleep. 

The passengers spend all Sunday at anchor, waiting out the sea storm. At breakfast, Twain observes that the passengers are a mix of ages but predominantly old. On Monday, the ship ventures out to sea under fair weather. Twain takes unashamed pleasure in the fact that, unlike many of his fellow passengers, he is not seasick. He tries to do various things to pass the time on the ship, but the ships’ five captains continually berate him. 

The sea voyage continues uneventfully for another week or more. The passengers begin to pick up sailor lingo and play games like horse billiards, draughts, and dominoes. They hold prayer services in the long saloon, with hymns accompanied by a parlor organ, and they write in their diaries—an endeavor for which Twain’s young friend Jack shows initial enthusiasm but soon loses interest. There is dancing on deck during the starlit nights, as well as rough-and-ready singing and music-making.

The Quaker City approaches the Azores islands amid an alternation of stormy and pleasant summer weather. The passengers learn to adjust to “ship time”—the ship gains a full hour every three days—and admire the sea life from the ship. After skirting the islands of Flores and San Miguel, they land at Fayal, a Portuguese possession filled with fisherman and beggars. At the hotel, the company enjoys an excellent dinner and has a good laugh when Mr. Blucher mistakenly thinks that the $21.70 bill is for $21,700. 

Twain chronicles the company’s visit to Fayal. He fills in some of the historical, political, and social background of the Portuguese-owned island and the characteristics of its terrain and people. With other passengers, Twain visits the cathedral, then rides a donkey around Fayal’s hills and canyons. He marvels at the cleanliness and orderliness of the roads, bridges, and walls. Finally, Twain and his companions enjoy the island’s fresh fruit. 

The company sails to Gibraltar over a frighteningly choppy and stormy sea, reaching land on June 30. They view the Straits of Gibraltar, between Africa and Spain, and the enormous Rock of Gibraltar. While still in the strait, they see a ship passing by flying the American flag, a scene which inspires reverent feelings of patriotism. In the town of Gibraltar, located at the foot of the slant of rock, they observe the mixture of cultural influences—Moorish, English, Spanish, Jewish, and so on—as evidenced by the military garrisons of the various nations. The tour guides endlessly repeat an uninteresting legend about a hill called the Queen’s Chair, which annoys Twain.

In town, Twain has an amusing experience attempting to buy a pair of elegant kid gloves that are a size too small for him—the pretty female shopkeeper flatters him that the gloves fit perfectly. Back on the ship, Twain has comic conversations with a pretentious passenger known as “the Oracle” who makes a great show of his little learning.