The End We Start From

As the unnamed protagonist’s infant son, Z is a primary character who represents hope and renewal in a world ravaged by an environmental disaster. Although Z, like the other characters, is referred to only by a first initial, his parents’ discussion about baby names reveals that his given name is Zeb. Where American readers pronounce the last letter of the alphabet as “zee,” in England—where the story is set—the letter Z is pronounced “zed.” This pronunciation means that, for British readers, their interpretation of Z’s name is one letter away from his proper name. For UK readers, this might create a sensation that Z is the only character who has a name rather than being identified by one letter.

Z’s presence is a source of comfort and motivation for the protagonist, driving her to persevere despite the challenges they face. The story begins a few hours before he is born, so his development from birth to his first steps creates the novel’s timeline. Z and his mother share a deep and comforting connection that begins the moment he is born. Instead of feeling stressed by the pressure of caring for a newborn, the narrator finds a sense of joy and purpose in the daily tasks of caring for him.

This is enhanced by the fact that even during his infancy, Z exhibits remarkable resilience, adapting to his harsh surroundings with strength. Although he is born during a climate disaster and lives through many unconventional experiences such as trekking through mountains and taking a sea voyage with his mother, Z seems to embrace the challenges as he grows, prompting his mother to observe that “[h]e is the most comfortable person on the boat, his softness slouching against [hers], the rocking motion undulating his cheeks. The others watch him hungrily, as though they can catch his contentment” (70).

This resilience mirrors the protagonist’s determination to protect and care for her child, highlighting the powerful bond between mother and son. Despite this, Z is still a baby, and his innocence and vulnerability underscore the fragility of life in the face of environmental catastrophe. As the protagonist navigates the challenges of motherhood, Z represents both the hope for a better future and the responsibility of nurturing a new life in a damaged world. Overall, Z’s character is a reminder of the resilience of the human spirit and the enduring power of maternal love in the face of adversity.

Although R is the narrator’s partner and the father of her baby, his absence looms large over the narrative as he leaves the narrator to navigate the challenges of motherhood and a climate disaster alone. The story’s opening sentence establishes his absence, as the narrator reflects, “I am hours from giving birth, from the event I thought would never happen to me, and R has gone up a mountain” (1). As the narrator reflects on her pregnancy and birth plan, a previous conversation with R adds context to his absence as the narrator remarks that “before I dilate, we agreed: R will get his two nights in nature. He will climb and trek, camp and forage” (2). His marriage proposal to the narrator adds additional context: “When R asked [her] to marry him, [they] were at the centre of the earth. The guide took [them] down to a line on the ground” (34). This statement, along with the narrator’s plan for a water birth at home in her bathtub, paints a picture of a couple that is mutually interested in and engaged with nature. R wants to engage with nature on a personal, individual level, using his “Boy Scout skills” before becoming a father (37).

This context identifies the crucial distinction that R has not abandoned his partner with no regard for her safety or well-being. He cuts his mountain trek short and rushes back when he hears the narrator is going into labor, and he reaches out to his friends, asking them to support her until he can arrive. Although R’s initial absence is not indicative of insensitivity, his inability to be physically or emotionally present is a recurring thread in the novel that defines both his character and his relationship with his family. When his mother is killed by frantic shoppers in a stampede, he and his father experience profound grief and sadness, which causes them both to retreat inward and withdraw from everyday activities. In this case, while R is physically present, he is emotionally absent, and the narrator feels that she and Z are on their own.

R’s absence is intensified by the fact that he rarely speaks in direct quotations. His perspective is offered almost exclusively through the narrator’s reflections on their past conversations or her interpretations of his thoughts and feelings in the present. The lack of direct dialogue from R contributes to the sense that, even when he is present, he is barely there. The only time R’s character takes direct action is when he is leaving in some capacity—whether to gather supplies or find a new home for his family. When R’s father is also killed, the loss motivates him to flee to higher ground with the narrator and Z. While they are traveling as a family of three, the narrator continues to feel that R is absent because he does not support her desire to seek safety in a camp with other refugees or take Z to the hospital when he falls dangerously ill.

Fear motivates his refusal, because both of his parents were crushed to death in stampedes, and he frequently puts his fears and discomfort ahead of his family’s needs. Ultimately, the narrator convinces R that both things are necessary, but he still leaves his family each time. When Z is in the hospital, R is relieved that only one parent can stay with Z and leaves. When the family seeks shelter in a refugee camp, R stays for only 2 weeks before claiming that he needs to go look for a safer place for them to stay. The narrator notices that rather than being concerned for his wife and baby, he is so glad to leave the camp that “the relief is hanging from him, a loose shirt” (45). After this, he is missing for the rest of the narrative, and the narrator finds support from others, namely women.

Despite these difficulties, the narrator’s thoughts of R are primarily loving and positive. Though R does not display the same care, strength, and resolve embodied by his wife, his role in her life and thoughts are significant to the development of the story and the narrator’s efforts to forge a future for her family.