The Empathy Exams

Jamison crosses the US-Mexico border on her way to a literary gathering in 2010. She speculates that the vague term applied to the gathering hints at debauchery as well as professionalism. The gathering will take place in Tijuana and Mexicali, and she reflects on how in past years these places have had a reputation for being violent and dangerous. Jamison notes how someone told her “about living in Tijuana during the worst months—not so much about living under the constant threat of violence, but about talking about living under constant threat of violence,” drawing a distinction between living during traumatic times and having the time to process what is going on around you (58).

Jamison describes the Avenida Revolución in Tijuana, where most bars have been abandoned because there are no longer tourists visiting. On the street itself, men and women try to make a living selling curio items designed for tourists, but no one is there to make any purchases. Although the hotels and bars are empty, Jamison does not understand or feel the fear other people have talked about.

The next morning, she meets Paola and Adán, who are joining her in route to Mexicali, where the rest of the literary meeting will take place. Adán tells Jamison a little about the city in Spanish before they leave Tijuana. Once they have departed, Jamison feels strange about the city, wanting to talk about it and put it in context she can internalize.

Jamison describes the drive from Tijuana to Mexicali, which travels through low-income areas. They reach a highway and pass by a truck crash, where a man is bleeding and a priest stands over him to block the sunlight. They then drive by a gun-carrying soldier, who seems to be guarding a pile of old tires, and Jamison reflects on how the Mexican soldiers seem constantly ready for an ever-present abstract violence. At a drug check point, the group is treated with suspicion and the vehicle is searched. They reach Mexicali and the difference between this city and Tijuana is palpable from the lack of souvenirs to the harshness of the light. She meets the 50 other people involved in the literary meeting and describes the experience of Marco in particular, who tells her about one morning when he was woken by grenade explosions and gunfire. Jamison struggles to connect with members of the group not only because of her poor Spanish skills, but also because of her lack of political knowledge regarding Mexico, and she does not want to shame herself by getting anything incorrect.

Jamison describes the education she receives as she has conversations with the other literary minds. The local writers talk to her about drug trafficking, murderers, cartel leaders, and geography. She notes Marco’s work with Flarf, a type of poetry that pulls its contents from different online sources. Marco’s recent work was featured in Los Angeles and was made up of blog posts from those living in Comales, a barrio reduced to bunkers in the face of violence and drug wars. Marco emphasizes that it is a piece of a conversation.

On the other side of a fence, the United States is visible in the form of the town Calexico, but it takes more than an hour to cross through the border even in the early hours of the morning. Jamison reflects on how different Mexicans have different experiences with the border. For example, Marco passes through frequently and easily, but others do not have the funds to even schedule a visa interview. As Jamison, Marco, and a Peruvian novelist attempt to cross the border, they are cross-examined by a distrustful border patrol agent whose gruffness causes Jamison to doubt herself. Marco tells her about other border crossers who continue to fail at receiving visas because they do not know how to navigate the complexities associated with the US government. The three pass by a board that advertises the number of arrests and amount of drugs that have been seized at the border, causing Jamison to reflect on its meaningless but poetic nature.