The Diary of a Young Girl

Anne believes that the root of the tensions between her and her mother is the fact Edith sees Anne and Margot “more as friends than as daughters” (133). Anne thinks this is why Edith makes fun of her when she is upset. Anne recalls a time before the Secret Annex when she wanted to go downtown with her mother and Margot, but her mother told her she could not join them because Anne had her bike with her. When Anne cried in frustration, her mother and Margot laughed at her.

Reading an article on blushing by Sis Heyster makes Anne glad that she is experiencing puberty. Even though her period is “a nuisance,” she feels she is “carrying around a sweet secret” (134). She remembers staying overnight with her friend Jacque. Anne wanted them to touch each other’s breasts, which Jacque refused, but they did kiss. Anne ends the entry, wishing she had a female friend.

Much to Anne’s own surprise, she goes to Peter’s room and tries to confide in Peter. In his expression she sees “a look of helplessness and uncertainty as to how to behave, and at the same time a flicker of awareness of his masculinity” (135). Despite crying that night, Anne decides to visit Peter more often, but she insists she is not in love with him. Anne also has a vivid dream where she almost kisses her old crush Peter Schiff.

Anne describes meeting her “one true love” (136). She knew a boy named Sally Kimmel in kindergarten and fell in love with Sally’s cousin, Peter “Petel” Schiff. However, Peter ignored Anne because she was too young. Anne thought she had forgotten Peter, but now she reflects, “as I’ve grown older and more mature, my love has grown along with me” (137). She imagines being in the front attic with him and kissing him.

For exercise, Anne practices dance and ballet. Also, Anne thinks her relationship with Margot is improving. This is because Margot “no longer thinks of me as a little kid who doesn’t count” (140). Anne admits that the situation in the Secret Annex has worsened. However, she sees Petel as someone God sent to help her.

The disputes in the Secret Annex continue. Food supplies are so low that they have to eat extra rye bread by 4:00 p.m. to help with hunger. For her birthday, Edith receives extra sugar from Mr. Kugler. This makes Mrs. van Daan jealous and starts a fight. Anne wonders “if everyone who shares a house sooner or later ends up at odds with their fellow residents. Or have we just had a stroke of bad luck?” (141). Anne also mentions how angry she is when she sees Albert hogging the gravy.

Anne dreams of Petel again. She also admits she was jealous of her father and Margot’s relationship. She no longer feels that way but still thinks she lacks affection from her father. Also, she notes that her mother received a “prewar quality” (142) mocha cake from the office.

Anne wonders “why people go to such lengths to hide their real selves” (142). She admits that her feelings toward the van Daans have softened and that she has viewed them from her “family’s biased point of view” (142). Instead, she thinks “half the arguments could have been avoided if Mother hadn’t been so hard to deal with every time they got onto a tricky subject” (142). From now on, she wants to form her own opinions rather than sharing her parents’ opinions.

Anne reflects on how sex was always treated as a “secretive or disgusting” (143) subject at school and at home. She was taught some things about sex by her parents, who then cautioned her not to discuss the topic with boys. Meanwhile, Peter and Anne argue about the cat Boche and what gender it is. Peter shows Anne Boche’s (male) genitals and describes how Mouschi was spayed. The conversation strikes her as new and different because it is the first time she has talked about sex with another young person without someone making jokes.

Recently, Anne has enjoyed tracing the genealogies of royal families, following the BBC Home Service (a British radio station, today BBC Radio 4), and reading Cinema & Theater magazine. Anne is particularly knowledgeable about movies. She writes, “Moms recently remarked that I wouldn’t need to go to the movies later on, because I know all the plots, the names of the stars and the reviews by heart” (146). Anne tries to experiment with new hairstyles. Because everyone disapproves and assumes she is imitating some Hollywood star, she restores her hair to normal.

Later, Anne expresses irritation at hearing the same stories told over and over by the adults in the Annex. Still, Anne is glad to hear stories from Mr. Kleiman and Jan about other people in their situation. She is heartened by how many Dutch are helping people go underground or leave the country: “It’s amazing how much these generous and unselfish people do, risking their own lives, to help and save others” (148). She praises the Secret Annex’s own helpers, who have assisted them without complaining.

Anne records some bizarre stories of resistance she has heard. In one, a soccer match was hosted in the Dutch province of Gelderland between a team of people who went underground and a team comprised of military policemen. Meanwhile, an official allowed people in hiding to collect their ration cards.

During an air raid, Anne was in the dark downstairs alone and “trusted in God” (149). She expresses “an intense need to be alone” (149).

Anne discusses how everyone is hoping for an invasion of the Netherlands. She records a debate between the Annex residents about how the invasion will happen and whether the Germans will deport the entire Dutch population as a result.

Edith and Anne have another fight when Anne makes a joke about Edith leaving a sewing needle in Margot’s blanket. Then, Anne records what she has learned about her father and her mother’s relationship. Otto married Edith not because he loved her but “because he felt she would be a suitable wife” (153). Anne notes they do not kiss passionately, and Otto does not look at Edith lovingly. Although Edith loves Otto, Anne does not believe that Otto loves Edith. Anne hopes her own marriage will have actual love. Nor does this mean Anne can bring herself to feel more love for her mother, “this insensitive person, this mocking creature” (154).

Because it is a beautiful day outside, Anne yearns “for everything: conversation, freedom, friends, being alone. I long…to cry!” (154). She feels “spring awakening” in her whole body, yet she forces herself to act normally. She writes, “I’m in a state of utter confusion” (154), not knowing what to read or write or do.

Anne notices Peter looking at her “[n]ot in the usual way” (155). On Sunday, Albert fiddled with the radio knobs for half an hour, and Peter grew irritable and asked him to stop, which led to a fight. After arguing with Albert, Peter confided in Anne, revealing that he is afraid to talk too much because he easily stutters or fails to find the right words.

Peter apologizes to Albert, much to Anne’s surprise. Albert assures Peter that he didn’t take the incident to heart, but Peter later tells Anne that Albert was lying. Later on, Peter and Mr. van Daan confront Albert. Anne remarks that the situation must not too serious, as Albert still gives Peter a dental examination.

Anne talks with Peter while getting coffee and potatoes for Margot’s birthday. Peter shares his dream of living in the Dutch East Indies and remarks that he does not want anyone to know he is Jewish after the war. Anne realizes that Peter “has a huge inferiority complex” (159).

Anne shares some of her short stories with Mrs. van Daan and Peter, which Mrs. van Daan enjoys very much.

Anne admits that since she started talking to Peter, her “life here has improved greatly” (159). She believes she and Peter might develop “a kind of friendship and a feeling of trust” (160). Edith objects to Anne’s visits to Peter, feeling that Anne is bothering him, which infuriates Anne.

Anne continues to yearn for Peter. She gets upset at missing Peter all day, despite making excuses to go up to the attic to see him.

Anne describes the typical Sunday in the Secret Annex. At 8:00 a.m., while the rest of the Annex sleeps in, Albert gets up and takes a bath. By 9:30 a.m., Anne gets up and Albert prays. Then, at 10:15 a.m., the van Daans are done with the bathroom. Margot and Anne do the laundry and then use the bathroom by 11:00 a.m.

At 11:30 a.m., they have breakfast, and then at 12:15 p.m., they go their separate ways. Albert makes the beds, Edith and Mrs. van Daan finish the laundry, Mr. van Daan and Peter go into the offices, and Anne and Margot do the dishes and clean.

Peter and Anne look outside together from the attic. Anne feels that the “best remedy for those who are frightened, lonely or unhappy is to go outside, somewhere they can be alone, along with the sky, nature and God” (163). Anne addresses her next thoughts to Peter. She says they have both been missing much of life. She advises Peter to find happiness within himself and in nature. She writes, “Riches, prestige, everything can be lost. But the happiness in your own heart can only be dimmed; it will always be there, as long as you live, to make you happy again” (163).

Anne frequently thinks of Peter van Daan. She believes they both have mothers who do not act like mothers and are struggling with their feelings. The difference, Anne believes, is that she becomes noisy while Peter shuts himself up.

Anne grows distressed at her preoccupation with Peter. She laments seeing him nearly every hour, yet she “can’t be with him” (164) and must conceal her feelings. For Anne, Peter Schiff and Peter van Daan “have melted into one Peter, who’s good and kind and whom I long for desperately” (164). She chastises herself for being so sentimental, despondent, and foolish.

Another burglar breaks into the office building and warehouse, this time using a duplicate key. The projector and Mr. Kugler’s briefcase are stolen. The incident is particularly frightening because it may have been a warehouse employee who heard Mr. van Daan. In a postscript Anne asks for a recommendation for a good detective, but “he must be relied upon not to inform on people in hiding” (166).

Anne is present for a conversation between Edith and Bep. When Bep mentions feeling discouraged, Edith advises her to think of the suffering of others. Anne tries to raise the point that it is hard to think of others’ suffering when you are suffering, but Edith and Otto shut her out of the conversation, much to her irritation. She complains about how she, Margot, and Peter are not allowed to share their opinions.

In a brief passage, Anne contemplates the nature of love. She concludes, “Love is understanding someone, caring for him, sharing his joys and sorrows. This eventually includes physical love” (167).

Peter confides in Anne about his parents constantly fighting. Anne promises she did not tell anyone, although she did tell Margot. Anne advises Peter to get advice from her father as well. She decides, “Peter’s a ‘terrific guy,’ just like Father!” (168).

Anne writes that Peter now “governs all my moods” (169). Anne is aware that when she writes about Peter, it reads like she is in love with him. She believes that Peter feels the same way about her, but she is afraid to ask him directly.

Anne continues spending time with Peter and shares that their interactions brightened her day. Mrs. van Daan approves of Anne’s visits to Peter, but she teases Anne by asking, “Can I trust you two up there?” (170).

She worries about Peter’s feelings over his parents’ fighting. She wishes Peter would let her help him feel better, but she hesitates to mention the subject in case it makes Peter uncomfortable. In the meantime, she says, “I live from one encounter [with Peter] to the next” (171).

Anne looks back on her life so far. She views the version of herself who attended the Jewish Lyceum and who existed before she entered the Secret Annex as “a pleasant, amusing, but superficial girl” (172). While she still retains the carefree attitude of her younger self, Anne feels like she is not that way all the time.

In the first half of 1943, Anne thinks she was forced to improve herself to deal with the constant lecturing from the adults. Her growth as a person also led to two conclusions about her parents: She realizes she “could manage without my mother, completely and totally, and that hurt,” and she feels she “was never going to be able to confide in Father” (173). However, she believes she has found happiness through her feelings for Peter. Unlike her mother, who believes the best way to handle depression is to think of other people’s suffering, Anne still thinks the cure is to look for happiness within and outside in nature.

Anne and Margot entertain themselves by exchanging notes. However, Anne does not tell Margot about her dreams of Peter.

Anne lists a number of problems that have hit the Secret Annex. Miep has gotten sick, leaving Bep to run the office alone. The man who has been supplying the Secret Annex with jam, potatoes, and butter (whose name Anne does not reveal) has been arrested. Lastly, the Annex occupants were all unnerved by a loud knock coming from the neighboring building.

Good food is scarce because the people who supplied the Secret Annex with food rations have been arrested, and because Mr. Kleiman, Bep, and Miep are all sick. What’s more, many of the potatoes have rotted from some plant disease. Anne interviews the adults in the Secret Annex about the current situation. Mrs. van Daan thinks they will all starve and the Germans will win the war. Mr. van Daan just keeps smoking. Edith complains about the van Daans but thinks the war is progressing and that she should be glad she is not in Poland. Albert thinks they will be safe and the war is going well.

Most of the office is out sick, so the Secret Annex must rely on Jan for news. Jan’s meals have been prepared by Mrs. P, a friend of Miep’s. Jan explains how Miep’s doctor has been diagnosing illnesses over the phone, which amuses Anne and the others.

Anne realizes that one of the reasons she has a hard time is that, unlike Peter, she does not have her own room. Without her journal, she would “absolutely suffocate” (181).

Anne reports that Bep had a sore throat, not a flu. Margot and Anne talk about how annoying they find their parents; both girls “are sick and tired of having to listen to their comments and questions all day long” (182). Anne believes that, because of their experiences, “inwardly, we’re much older than other girls our age” (183).

Anne shares her opinions on sex. She notes that parents often do not discuss the subject with their children, leaving them to figure it out on their own. She thinks adults are “afraid that their children will no longer look upon marriage as sacred and pure once they realize that, in most cases, this purity is a lot of nonsense” (183). Instead, Anne believes it is alright if a man is “a little” experienced with sex before marriage. Anne recalls how she learned about sex. Her parents told her about menstruation when she was 11, but they did not explain it. Instead, she learned all the details about sex from her friend Jacqui and a sex education book.

Peter and Anne have a disagreement, but they reconcile. Meeting in the attic, they open up about their parents. They admit that originally they found each other annoying, but Peter likes her visits to his room. Anne reflects, “He must have come to love me as a friend, and, for the time being, that’s enough” (186).

Anne knows that Margot has feelings for Peter too. Margot, however, just tells Anne “not to feel sorry for her” (187). Also, Anne is having a hard time with her parents again and finds her father has gotten “much too cold” (187). Margot writes Anne a letter admitting she was jealous of Anne and Peter, but also admitting that she did not think they would make it that far. Anne replies that she does not think she is as close to Peter as Margot thinks she is. Anne asks Margot to keep writing letters because “it’s easier for me to say what I mean on paper than face-to-face” (188).

Margot writes again to Anne, saying she thinks of Peter as a younger brother. Anne herself writes, “I’m sure now that Peter loves me too; I just don’t know in what way” (189). However, she is disheartened when Peter does not take the opportunity to invite her up to the attic. In another letter to Margot, Anne says she will ask Peter about his feelings for Margot.

The people who provide the Secret Annex with rations have been released. Also, Anne is pleased to report that Bep and Miep have recovered. She records seeing a plane crashing nearby and German planes attacking the crew as they fled. Anne talks about sex with Peter and is surprised that he knows more than she does. Peter explains contraceptives. Later on, Anne has to convince Peter that she did not trick him into talking about sex so she and Margot could make fun of him.

The van Daans joke when Anne goes to Peter’s room, which they call “Anne’s second home” (192). Anne dislikes the van Daans’ comments and interprets them as a sign that they do not like her seeing their son so much. Meanwhile, Anne and Peter continue their discussion of sex, and Anne tries to describe female genitalia to him.

Anne observes she has “changed quite drastically” (194). Particularly, she feels that it was her parents’ influence that got her to side against the van Daans. As an example, she discusses how she was able to politely disagree with Mrs. van Daan, who was upset that they had to share their rice with Mr. Kleiman. Also, Anne receives her father’s approval to keep visiting Peter.

Anne admits that much of the political news the Secret Annex receives turns out to be false. Debates about politics and the war are constant. Anne claims she only has to say one word about politics to spark an argument. The radio is constantly on, which annoys Anne. She describes a time when everyone gathered to listen to a Winston Churchill speech on the radio. She remembers waiting for the inevitable argument to break out once it was over.

Edith prohibits Anne from visiting Peter in his room because “according to her, Mrs. van Daan is jealous” (198). Also, Peter invited Margot to visit him. Anne still does not know how Peter feels about her, but Edith believes that he loves Anne. Peter compliments Anne by telling her he likes her dimples.

Anne hears the speech from Gerrit Bolkestein encouraging Dutch citizens to record their experience of the Nazi occupation. The other occupants of the Secret Annex “pounced on my diary” (200). She considers how, no matter how much she writes, people living after her time will know little about what she experienced. For example, Anne lists her experiences, like fear of the air raids, the widespread burglaries, and the increasing food scarcity. At the end of the entry, Anne mentions that resistance in the Netherlands has grown.

The Secret Annex is excited at news that the Soviets are marching on Eastern Europe. However, Anne notes that the Germans have occupied Hungary. She feels that the Jews there “are doomed” (201). Despite changes in the outside world, life in the Annex remains the same. The occupants celebrate Mr. van Daan’s anniversary, giving him tobacco, food, cologne, and a cake. The adults talk less about Anne seeing Peter. Anne feels that her “life has gotten better, much better” (202).

Anne wants to kiss Peter but is extremely frustrated that she still does not know his feelings for her. Though she’s accustomed to “carry[ing] most burdens alone” (202), she yearns to sit with her head on Peter’s shoulder. She remains preoccupied by her dreams of Peter, but she directs herself to be calm and patient.