The Collected Schizophrenias

Wang’s essay “The Choice of Children” stands apart from the others due to its deeply personal anecdotes, admissions, shorter length, and the fact that it contains one clear focus: children. When Wang was offered a chance to volunteer for a camp for children with mental disorders, she found the prospect daunting, as she never liked children; however, when she allowed herself to engage and bond with the campers, she was amazed to find herself deeply touched by one boy in particular: “I was surprised by my love for Stuart. He was smart and hilarious and knew a lot of fascinating trivia. He and I also shared a diagnosis, and perhaps that, most of all, is why I had patience for his tantrums and oddities” (93). The emphasis on human connection in this essay complicates perceived logic about mental illness and shows how factors outside of treatment regimens can be healing.

Wang’s uncertainty about having children is caused by an array of factors, each of which is based on logic and data. She worries about passing a disorder on to her child, and she worries about being unable to care for a child. At the same time, Wang admits she has never given up hope that her thoughts on this may one day change, indicating some deep-rooted desire to have children that she pushes down for the sake of her other concerns. Adding to this is the fact that her husband, C, shares the same concerns and voices them openly. Despite her doubts, Wang considers the fact that she could perhaps be perfectly suited to care for a child with such a disorder, as she knows better than most how to handle it. Stuart experienced many moments of joy and touched Wang’s life forever, showing that Wang’s doubts about how horrible it might be to have a child like Stuart may be partially based on societal stigma rather than truth (Stereotypes and Stigmatization of Mental Disorders). Her reflections here highlight The Importance of Hope in the Face of Great Challenges, as the possibility of being a mother is something she aspires to.

Poetic devices are common throughout Wang’s collection. Several essays are titled using alliteration, including “The Choice of Children,” illuminating a portion of Wang’s vibrant personality. In exploring her thoughts on children, she primarily relies on ethos to argue her current choice not to have them. She feels that she would be risking too much, both due to her own mental illness and the potential illness of her child, but hopes that one day, she has recovered enough that this changes. Wang talks about her experiences with children and her alternating desire to have one or not as if she is looking from the outside in; when she describes herself walking past a baby clothing store and the thoughts she has, it is as if she is telling the reader about herself as they both watch from above: “I watched women purchase tiny pea coats and miniature blouses with Peter Pan collars, with my own shopping bags hanging at my sides” (83). This device illuminates her uncertainty; she is neither the women buying baby clothes nor herself looking on, indicating that she can still choose either path. Wang’s descriptions of her experiences are visceral, bringing the reader right into them. Wang always ends her essays with a potent final word, solidifying the piece in the reader’s mind as it closes.