The Collected Regrets of Clover

Clover reminisces about her grandfather, whose death still casts a shadow over her life. In fact, the chapter reveals that she was diagnosed with persistent complex bereavement disorder, which she calls “chronic grief,” because she had failed to move on eight months after her grandfather’s death. However, Clover defends her process of grieving, arguing that everyone grieves differently and there is no set timeline for an end to grief. Thus, she maintains the weekly tradition of dining at their favorite diner and visiting the bookstore, as she did when her grandfather was alive. At the bookstore, she observes two men sharing a special connection while browsing books, highlighting her own longing for intimacy. She recalls a client’s advice about changing her perfume to mark new life chapters. Unexpectedly, Sebastian calls her seeking her help as a death doula for his grandmother. Despite initial reluctance, Clover agrees, beginning a new chapter in her life.

In a flashback to her ninth birthday, Clover receives a thoughtful gift from her grandfather: a navy blue leather-bound notebook, a silver fountain pen, and a pair of binoculars. Her grandfather emphasizes the importance of curiosity and keen observation. He takes Clover on a birthday outing to Central Park to teach her about the lamppost numbering system and the art of birdwatching. He also advises her about observing people’s behaviors and identifying their patterns. Clover learns that each person is unique, and understanding their individual patterns can help her be of service to others.

When meeting Clover, Leo teases her about her self-imposed isolation, as she hasn’t left her house or interacted with others in a week. However, Clover values her own self-sufficiency and expresses her reluctance to open up to others. Leo, who is a widower, shares his perspective on the value of love and human connection, highlighting the importance of letting people see the real you.

Clover grapples with a yearning for companionship while using her binoculars to observe a couple, Julia and Reuben, who live in the neighboring building. This voyeuristic activity provides her with material for her romantic fantasies, as well as a semblance of intimacy and connection without actual interaction.

Clover’s solitary life evolved over time. Her fascination with death was an important factor—for example, her classmates often exhibited judgmental attitudes toward her. Clover recalls a brief attempt to befriend a girl named Priya in high school, who ultimately rejected Clover because Priya wanted to fit in with the other classmates.

After a painting class meant to honor an elderly woman’s unfulfilled artistic dream, Clover tries to avoid Sylvie, her new neighbor, but eventually agrees to have coffee with her. During the conversation, Sylvie learns about Clover’s work and becomes intrigued. As the two chat, Clover starts to open up, sharing personal experiences, including the loss of her grandfather, one of the factors that led her to become a death doula. Sylvie’s warmth and genuine curiosity prompt Clover to consider the possibility of forming a new friendship, sparking a sense of hope and connection in her life.

Clover meets Sebastian, and the two go to a beautiful townhouse where Clover meets Claudia, Sebastian’s grandmother. Sebastian admits that his grandmother believes Clover is an art enthusiast rather than a death doula, because he could not tell his grandmother about her diagnosis. In the garden, Claudia greets them warmly. Concealing her anxiety over the lie, Clover discusses Claudia’s unconventional career as a female photojournalist in the 1950s. Claudia acknowledges that women’s rights have a long way to go, although things are better than in her day.

Claudia naps in the sunshine as Clover returns to the townhouse, left alone by Sebastian to tend to his grandmother. The decor is sparing, reminiscent of the preserved celebrity homes that Clover has seen on her travels. Sebastian brings his cello to play for Claudia, sharing a warm moment with her. Sebastian offers to drop off Clover at Washington Square Park. In an Uber, they discuss Claudia’s family dynamics, her health aides, and Sebastian’s hope that Clover can ease Claudia’s emotional burden at the end of her life. Clover reveals her own past, and Sebastian is apologetic for asking. He pleads with Clover to continue visiting Claudia. Clover agrees to give it two weeks.

After being dropped off at Washington Square, Clover indulges in a tradition she shared with her late grandfather—watching dogs at the park. She then stops by a pharmacy, where she encounters Leo, and they decide to have a meal at the nearby diner. Leo shares neighborhood gossip, including the mysterious case of a bodega cat that went missing. A cat that looks identical appeared in its stead, the only difference being that it was a male cat. Leo speculates that it was the doing of a cat-breeding ring. As they walk back home, a sudden rain shower begins. While seeking shelter, Leo, who typically walks at a slower pace, encourages Clover to embrace the moment and enjoy the rainfall. They stand together, savoring the experience.

Sylvie invites Clover to join her for yoga, and despite initial hesitation, Clover decides to give it a try. They prepare for their early morning class, with Sylvie providing some pointers. During the class, they both struggle to maintain focus, especially during guided meditation, where they’re on the verge of laughter when the instructor pronounces the word “cocoon.” The session ends with Sylvie’s proposal to continue their yoga outings at another time. As they part ways, Clover reflects on how the experience marks a positive shift in her life, embracing newfound friendships outside of work.

In a flashback to Clover’s 20^th birthday, she works as a volunteer at a nursing home in Antigua, Guatemala, which she has been doing between college semesters. She reflects on her interactions with the elderly residents, including Arturo, a poet, and Rosita, who exudes joy. Clover’s feelings for Tim, another volunteer, grow stronger, and she plans to reveal her emotions to him on her birthday. Tim has been asking Clover to cover for his shifts and other such favors, which she mistakes for affection. However, she discovers Tim with Felicity, another volunteer, during an intimate moment, which leaves Clover heartbroken.