The Coddling of the American Mind: How Good Intentions and Bad Ideas are Setting Up a Generation for Failure

These days, three beliefs seem to have an overarching effect on the minds of students: “What doesn’t kill you makes you weaker,” “Always trust your feelings,” and “Life is a battle between good people and evil people.” Authors Haidt and Lukianoff believe these three concepts are forms of cognitive distortion, such as overgeneralizing, emotional reasoning, and black-and-white thinking, and that they cause students to become overly anxious, depressed, and fearful that disagreements and controversies are threats to their safety.

Parents, in an effort to shield their children from danger, teach them to be cautious at all times. Monitored closely, kids don’t have much experience dealing with the real world outside their cloistered homes and schools. They begin to see themselves as fragile and unable to cope with new or threatening experiences. Thus, they tend to believe that unpleasant experiences will damage them, which “makes you weaker.” On the contrary, child development research strongly suggests that young people are “antifragile” and will learn and grow from the small misfortunes of everyday life.

In an excess of caution, children are taught to “trust your feelings,” particularly fears, so that they might avoid any risks. This causes them to shy away from experiences and adventures that might teach them important lessons about how to navigate successfully through life. As a result, children grow up to become, not psychologically healthy people who can manage controversies and negotiate disagreements, but sensitive and touchy persons who cringe when confronted with ideas they don’t like or understand.

It’s one thing to listen to one’s hunches, especially in a dark alley, but quite another to feel a twinge of fear during a conversation and magnify it all out of proportion on the belief that any discomfort is a sure sign of danger. A wiser approach is to note the feeling and examine the possible causes to see whether they are truly dangerous or merely disagreeable.

In grade school we are taught never to accept rides from strangers. This doesn’t mean, however, that all strangers are evil and must be avoided. Children grow up thinking the world is filled to the brim with scary people, when, in fact, most humans are non-threatening. By the time they reach college, young students often have hardened their beliefs into an “us versus them” attitude that stifles inquiry and restricts opportunities to encounter new and interesting people and ideas.

It’s good to be prudent when meeting others, but to avoid people simply because we feel nervous will lead to isolation and paranoia. It’s more productive to consider that people aren’t always trying to cause harm and that their differing beliefs aren’t attempts to injure others.

The Three Great Untruths unravel when examined closely under the light of rational thought; this process can free up young minds to more fully explore, and learn from, the world. Cognitive behavioral training (CBT) can help with this.