The Choice: Embrace the Possible

Eger begins the Introduction with two tense opening lines:

I didn’t know about the loaded gun hidden under his shirt, but the instant Captain Jason Fuller walked into my El Paso office on a summer day in 1980, my gut tightened and the back of my neck stung. War had taught me to sense danger before I could explain why I was afraid (3).

She briefly establishes key setting details: the general place and time, the nature of the author’s professional practice, and her patient’s military status. Though it is an otherwise normal day, Captain Fuller’s entrance immediately clues readers to Eger’s traumatic history and its long-lasting repercussions. She isn’t directly cognizant of Captain Fuller’s gun, but she has developed a sixth sense for danger. Despite her obvious trauma response, nothing about her tone in the Introduction suggests evidence of victimhood. She continues responding to Captain Fuller’s threats calmly—acutely aware of her own body’s response and attuned to the captain’s rapidly approaching breaking point. Later, assuming the readers’ ignorance, she states matter-of-factly that she is a Holocaust survivor. The very first mention of the Holocaust is followed immediately by her life’s central philosophy: Regardless of someone’s past, a person always has a choice to take control of the present and pursue freedom. Her mindset, as she presents it in opening this story, is not to dwell on past horrors, but rather to rejoice at opportunities ahead. Eger advances beyond inner freedom and adopts the role of helper and encourager—a long way from the victim mindset she once possessed. No less, her initial patient story involves a soldier—the very source of her torment only 75 years prior.

In Chapter 1 and throughout the story, Eger makes references to key cultural terms and historical events, such as the nyilas and Operation Barbarossa. Nyilas (direct translation: “archers”) is short for Nyilaskeresztes Párt-Hungarista Mozgalom, the Arrow Cross Party. Nyila was the political party of the fascist Hungarian Nazis who allied with the Axis Powers. Their presence was prominent in the late 1930s and early 1940s, but Operation Barbarossa sullied much of their support. After bombs drop over Kassa and destroy part of Eger’s grandparents’ home, rumors direct the blame toward the Soviets, though few people believe it. The attacks helped justify Hungarian involvement in Operation Barbarossa, Germany’s attempted invasion of the Soviet Union in June 1941. The two countries had signed the German-Soviet non-aggression pact less than two years before, but Hitler cared little for the agreement’s integrity once opportunities arose to achieve his true goals. Operation Barbarossa was one of the largest invasion attempts in modern history. It marked a turning point in World War II, painting the Soviets as victims for the first time and pitting them against the Axis Powers. Hitler’s operation was initially successful, but ultimately the Germans forfeited because they were not adequately prepared for the harsh Russian winter. (United States Holocaust Memorial Museum. “Invasion of the Soviet Union, June 1941,” Holocaust Encyclopedia, 11 June 2021, encyclopedia.ushmm.org/content/en/article/invasion-of-the-soviet-union-june-1941.)

Back in Hungary, the nyilas lost most of their civilian support by 1944 prior to mass Jewish deportations. However, they never lost German support. Even after the party’s official dissolution, the party secretly plotted a coup against Admiral Horthy (the leader who re-annexed Kassa from Czechoslovakia) with German military assistance and regained control of the Hungarian government. The nyilas were responsible for the 1944 mass deportation of Hungarian Jews, which included Eger’s family. For their brutality, they were also unpopular among the general Hungarian population. In 1945, the Red Army executed many nyila leaders when the Soviets liberated Hungary. (“Arrow Cross Party.” Jewish Virtual Library: A Project of AICE, www.jewishvirtuallibrary.org/arrow-cross-party.)

At the end of Chapter 2, a kapo—an inmate serving as a camp supervisor—rudely awakens Eger from any delusions she may have about Auschwitz. The kapo rips the jewelry from Eger’s ears, pocketing the gold. Though the kapo is also a Jewish prisoner under the Nazis’ authority, she evaluates her difficult position and makes a choice: She chooses to perpetuate the cruelty that is unjustly directed toward her so that others can share her own trauma. If she must live under oppression, at least she won’t be the only one suffering. The kapo is a foil to Eger’s central message: Everyone, regardless of any damaging past decisions that they made, has choices that can positively impact their future and how they relate to other people. Even surrounded by barbed wire, Eger finds ways to choose life, freedom, and community.