45 pages • 1 hour read
Priya ParkerThe Art of Gathering
Nonfiction | Book | Adult | Published in 2018A modern alternative to SparkNotes and CliffsNotes, SuperSummary offers high-quality Study Guides with detailed chapter summaries and analysis of major themes, characters, and more.
Chapter 8Chapter Summaries & Analyses
Chapter 8 Summary: “Accept That There Is an End”
The final chapter appropriately concentrates on how to bring an event to a close while continuing to support and develop its purpose. Parker criticizes the “widespread tendency to close without closing” (245), which she likens to breaking up with someone by just not calling anymore. To illustrate what she means, she mentions one of her own failures: a two-day workshop she organized on measuring the impact of a foundation. Just before the ending, Parker realized she hadn’t planned any sort of culminating conclusion, and so she simply closed with a set of abrupt and anticlimactic logistical announcements.
She laments that “[t]oo many of our gatherings don’t end. They simply stop” (248). On the other hand, Parker acknowledges that other events are prone to lag and fizzle out when it would be better to just go ahead and end. Regarding this, she suggests that organizers accept the inevitability of concluding, approach it gracefully, and “promise to sustain what is better surrendered” (250). She strongly suggests that hosts close gatherings with some sort of gesture that signifies the importance of the event and honors participants. For example, Michael J. Smith, a professor at the University of Virginia who leads a two-year-long seminar on political and social thought, surprises students submitting their culminating thesis project by handing out tequila shots. Smith’s small gesture celebrates his students’ hard work and signals they are moving on to a new stage in their academic careers.
Similar to the priming and ushering that occur prior to the true beginning of a gathering, Parker recommends that hosts include a kind of “last call” before totally ending (254). For something as simple as a dinner party, this could include a moment to pause, thank people for coming, and offer a nightcap. More elaborate events, like a conference, might require time to reflect on and process on what participants have accomplished.
An appropriate close, Parker notes, will occur after the gathering has arrived at its purpose but before its energy begins to wane. According to Parker, there are two phases to a strong closing: “looking and turning outward” (250). She mentions the recurring Renaissance Weekend in Charleston, South Carolina, as a good example of how to look inward. The family-friendly, open event designed to build bridges between people closes with a session where 20 people are given the opportunity to describe whatever they would want to say if it were the end of their life, a theme that solidifies the gathering’s emphasis on meaningful sharing.
The Seeds of Peace camp for teens grappling with conflict in the Middle East demonstrates an effective way to look outward. Most of the youths’ time is spent as in any other idyllic summer camp, but near the end, they are introduced to a team-based event known as the Color Games. That way, the connections the youths have developed in camp change their perspective on competition, so that they are primed to look at conflict in their homeland in a new, more empathetic way as well.
Once a gathering’s purpose has been reaffirmed by appropriate means, it is time for the event to end. Parker recommends not closing with logistics or long lists of thank-yous, as these moves lack energy and are anticlimactic. Instead, she recommends providing a reminder of the gathering’s purpose and making a move to “connect your specific gathering to the universal” before ending with a “line of exit” that can be physical (like a hug or huddle) or verbal (277).
Chapter 8 Analysis
After several chapters that discuss pushing the boundaries of what constitutes a gathering and how it should be administered—with pop-up rules instead of etiquette, and encouraging personal, controversial, and even dark revelations—the final chapter returns to the ethos Parker establishes at the beginning of the book. When Parker recounts the story of the workshop she organized that failed because she neglected to plan a proper closing, she builds readers’ trust by showing her vulnerability. Moreover, she once again tries to convince readers of her point (in this case, that closings of gatherings must be as intentional and thoughtful as their openings) by utilizing personal experience as evidence.
Parker’s characteristically wide scope informs Chapter 8, as she draws on anecdotal evidence of all kinds of gatherings, including everything from a professor’s congratulatory farewell at the end of a semester to the Seeds of Peace camp for youth living with conflict in the Middle East. Thus, even as she shares her detailed views on how to close a gathering with readers, she endeavors to remind them of how deeply and widely she has thought about gatherings, yet again encouraging readers to trust her point of view.
This attempt to build trust continues to the very end of the book. Parker recommends that readers do not end gatherings with thank-yous or logistics, and she puts the acknowledgements of those who helped her write the book second-to-last, leaving the book’s final pages for substantive, personal thoughts. Moreover, she names what she thanks them for, not just who they are, enacting another of her guidelines. By doing so, Parker demonstrates to readers that she stands behind her recommendations, subtly emphasizing that readers can confidently adopt them.
The points about how to make thank-yous and handle other logistics are also a sign of how Chapter 8 contributes to the book’s promise to provide practical advice. Several of the preceding chapters focused heavily on conceptual ideas, such as pop-up rules, the power of sharing personal insights, and the importance of controversy. Chapter 8 has elements of philosophical ides—most notably an anecdote about Zen Buddhist monks leading a class on helping people deal with death. Parker anticipates readers’ surprise at the scope of her musings: “I know what you’re thinking: Who said anything about death? I’m just trying to have a better picnic” (251). But she insists that those monks are experts on thinking about endings. At the same time, Chapter 8’s somewhat more straightforward and practical objective provides balance and emphasizes the distinctive quality of The Art of Gathering, which combines hands-on tips and conceptual analysis.
Ultimately, by concluding The Art of Gathering with a chapter on effective ways to close events, Parker fulfills her promise to walk readers through the full process of conceptualizing, opening, managing, and ending gatherings. Parker’s concepts and guidelines are presented as advice to readers, often delivered with passionate urgings to follow them. At the same time, Chapter 8 closes by acknowledging that “with every rule, there are exceptions” (280). Noting a group of friends who ignore her advice and simply leave gatherings whenever they feel they are over, Parker states the group still succeeds in achieving one of her key principles by making the gathering “different from all the others” (281). Thus, The Art of Gathering ends by emphasizing the importance of close, personal connections—a basic advantage of any successful gathering—as well as by reaffirming that individuals are the experts of their own gatherings and are always the most ready to determine their own purpose.
