That's Not What Happened

Fiction | Novel | YA | Published in 2018

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Summary

Background

Chapter Summaries & Analyses

Chapters 1-8

Chapters 9-15

Chapters 16-22

Chapters 23-28

Chapters 29-32

Character Analysis

Themes

Symbols & Motifs

Important Quotes

Essay Topics

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Themes

The Complexities of Truth and Perspective

Content Warning: This section includes discussion of school shootings, death by gun violence, trauma, mental and emotional health concerns, substance use disorder, and grief.

Lee names her primary goal early in the story: to correct the false narrative about Sarah’s death. She believes that telling the truth will not only stop the spread of misinformation but also alleviate her guilt. As Lee explains what happened from her perspective, though, others react strongly based on what they believe to be true. Lee soon sees that the connections between truth and perspective are too complex for a simple reset of the narrative.

Early lessons for Lee regarding the complexities of truth and perspective come after reading Denny’s scholarship letter. His version of events causes Lee to realize that Sarah’s is not the only narrative in need of correction. This motivates her to tell the truth, but her mission to Detective Jenner does not have the desired impact. The detective cautions against Lee telling the truth, indicating that others’ “truth” about Sarah’s tragedy has helped their healing process. Lee is surprised to think that others’ beliefs, based only on a catchy story, should outweigh her firsthand perspective. While she grows more aware of these complexities at this point, she is not deterred in her mission.

Lee then receives a more resounding lesson from Sarah’s parents. They shun Lee’s version of events and choose to believe the more soothing narrative about the way Sarah died. Brother Lloyd also lectures Lee on the value of Sarah’s actions, as they inspire others to recommit to the faith. Lee’s peers who attend the McHales’ church reiterate this lesson in no uncertain terms, calling Lee a liar and vandalizing her property. Tara Chambers goes so far as to tell Lee it should have been Lee, not Sarah, killed by the shooter. The strength of others’ convictions about Sarah’s death causes Lee to doubt her mission; her version of events prompts conflict and pain, and instead of less guilt, she feels more.

Reactions to Lee’s efforts show how truth and perspective are far more complex than she originally thought, especially when others’ perspectives are built upon inaccurate memories and integral to their survival after tragedy. This is the case with Ashley, who connects her renewed faith to an assumption she holds up as the truth and, consequently, has great difficulty believing the truth from Lee. Lee’s intent to share the truth causes anguish for Ashley, who begins to see the repercussions of her assumptions. Though it was never Lee’s intention to hurt Ashley, Sarah’s parents, other survivors, or community members with her honesty, Lee learns that sharing the truth, when complicated by others’ perspectives, requires careful navigation.

The Impact of Trauma on Individual Identity

The shooting at Virgil County High School caused immediate shock and grief. The novel, however, focuses most intently on individuals’ long-lasting trauma—that is, the aftereffects of the shooting in the book’s recent events (from March 15 of Lee’s senior year to just after the fourth anniversary of the shooting). The impact of trauma on identity can be seen long after the causal event.

Lee’s trauma symptoms improved under a therapist’s care. She still lives each day, though, with dark thoughts and anxiety resulting from the shooting; these have become a part of her identity. Lee jumps at noises, is hesitant with physical contact, and experiences intrusive thoughts about death. She “sees” death as a looming possibility everywhere, especially on “Death Drum” days when the dark thoughts distract her. Though she mostly gained control over panic attacks, she experiences one at the party when Tara Chambers and Pete McHale verbally attack her. Three years after the shooting, physical, mental, and emotional reactions to trauma still challenge Lee’s daily life.

Lee is not the only survivor for whom the trauma still impacts identity. Eden struggles at college, needing support from her girlfriend and roommate; she consumes alcohol in an attempt to forget trauma, stress, and pressure. Miles uses his voluntary study of history as a way to self-soothe his lasting trauma. He uses history’s ability to reveal the bigger picture to provide a lens of perspective. Kellie’s long-term trauma from the shooting created a need to change her identity altogether: a change in her legal name, changes in her appearance, and changes in mindset and behavior, shifting from trying to tell the truth to hiding that she witnessed the shooting at all.

Others’ trauma impacts Sarah’s identity, too. Interest in a biography about Sarah three years after the shooting indicates that her persona is larger than her life; her identity is not the girl with whom Lee was friends but now someone more influential. Certain that Sarah would not want to be remembered for the wrong reasons, Lee recasts Sarah’s identity by sharing Sarah’s true actions. Following the initial struggle, this effort positively impacts Lee’s identity; she wears a smile on the way west, according to Kellie, and exudes more confidence than the narrator in the introduction. The compilation itself serves as evidence of the long-term aftereffects of trauma on individual identity, as do the actions and reactions of the shooting’s survivors.

The Role of Stereotyping in Shaping Narrative

The concept of narrative impacts each character in the novel. When many voices attempt to contribute to the narrative, memory and perspective play major roles, as should facts. As Lee learns, however, the storyteller’s expectations and biases also impact narrative. In the novel, judgments and stereotyping shape narratives in unfair and false ways.

Lee introduces the idea of false narratives when she reflects on the media’s treatment of Denny and Miles. Coverage discussed Denny’s blindness to the exclusion of his other traits and abilities; the story about him focused tightly on his relearning how to use his cane: “The media made a big deal out of this, emphasizing his blindness over and over. As if that was his defining characteristic” (7). Miles, who had a disciplinary record, shielded Ashley during the shooting, so the news stories played up his image as “an unlikely hero” (5). Lee makes the point that the media shaped a narrative around Denny and Miles based on common stereotypes about disabilities and troublemakers. Failing to explore more about Denny and Miles as individuals, the media impacted the general public’s view.

Thanks to judgments and expectations, the public found it easy to believe the false narrative about Sarah, too. Seeing her school picture, people assumed from her cross necklace that she was unafraid to proclaim her faith, which fit the narrative propagated by Ashley at the time. No one but Lee realized Sarah wore no cross necklace the day of the shooting. Stereotyping continues to impact the strength of that narrative with recent events, as the same school picture appears on Sarah’s biography cover. Her image suits the narrative and audiences do not doubt or question the “evidence” of her necklace.

Ironically, no one believed the truth when Kellie tried to share it; stereotyping caused this as well. Others judged Kellie’s attitude and personal appearance as decidedly un-Christian; no one considered that someone like Kellie might own and wear a cross necklace. Ashley, who ironically details how her recovery involved forgiveness, insists that Kellie “never stepped into a church in Virgil County” (126) and that “[s]he tried to take something away from Sarah” (127). These opinions are based on a stereotype Ashley upholds; others, like the adults who accosted Kellie in the grocery store, acted on those stereotypes, too. Like the stories about Denny and Miles in the news and the popular acceptance of Sarah’s idealism based on an image, bias against Kellie’s social status resulted in—and continues to support— the spread of false, unfair narratives.