Simon vs. the Homo Sapiens Agenda

Simon, who signs his emails “Jacques,” and Blue email back and forth. Simon shares how he realized he was gay in the first email, beginning with dreams about Daniel Radcliffe and an interest in the band Passion Pit. He then tells a story about avoiding a girlfriend at an eighth grade dance by hiding in the bathroom so that he didn’t have to kiss her, and he says it wasn’t his “proudest moment” (13). He says he had a few more girlfriends after that, even though he essentially knew he was gay. He tells Blue this is the longest email he has ever sent.

Blue responds by saying no one has their proudest moment in middle school, and he observes how mean everyone was in middle school, responding to everything said with, “Um, okaaay” (14). He asks why Jacques (Simon) had girlfriends if he knew he was gay. Simon writes back agreeing that middle schoolers can be cruel, and he says he can’t quite explain the girlfriend question. He writes that he thinks he didn’t quite believe he was gay, or he didn’t know if it was permanent. He says he’s sure that Blue is thinking, “Okaaaaaaay” (16). Blue writes back that exact response as a joke.

Simon describes his relationship with Blue, which began when Blue posted about feeling lonely to the school’s Creeksecrets Tumblr and mentioned being gay. Simon responded using a secret email address, and the two began a corresponding. They talk about “all the big things but avoid the identifying details” (17). Simon feels he tells Blue more than he would if he knew who he was at school. He fears that if Blue knows Martin has screenshots of their emails, he will stop writing, so he decides he can’t tell Blue about it.

Simon worries about what to do about Martin, even when his family (including his dad, mom, and younger sister Nora) Skypes with his older sister, Alice, who is at college, to discuss the latest episode of The Bachelorette. While they discuss the show, Simon thinks about how he is not sure how to be gay in Georgia or in his high school, where there are only a few openly gay guys. His father makes a comment about one of the guys on The Bachelorette being gay that feels insulting to Simon, and he decides it’s good to know his father feels like that.

At lunch the next day, Martin is impatient because Simon hasn’t acted to help him with Abby yet. As time goes by, Simon finds more ways to dodge Martin. Before rehearsal for the school musical, Oliver!, Martin confronts him and asks if Simon has been avoiding him. Simon promises Martin he will talk to Abby, and they exchange numbers.

At play rehearsal, Simon encounters Abby, who is happy to see him; Ms. Albright, the drama teacher; Taylor, a perfectionist actress; and Cal, the stage manager who Simon describes as “soft-spoken” and giving a vibe that maybe could mean he may be gay. Rehearsal goes so well that Simon even feels warmly towards Martin afterwards. He decides to invite him to Garrett’s Halloween party. Abby hears this, and she comments she didn’t know Simon was friends with Martin.

Simon, or Jacques and Blue continue to email back and forth. Simon discusses his past Halloween costumes, and he says he can’t believe Blue isn’t dressing up. Blue explains that he isn’t dressing up because he isn’t going anywhere; he is being made to pass out candy by his mom. He says when he was a kid, he used to like to dress as a superhero; the secret identity used to appeal to him. He admits maybe it still does—“[m]aybe that’s the whole point of these emails” (36). Blue guesses Simon is going to be a ninja. Simon says the ninja guess is wrong, but he makes an autocorrect error and uses the word “suck.” In his next email trying to correct the mistake, he uses the word “dick” accidentally (38).