Set Boundaries, Find Peace: A Guide to Reclaiming Yourself

In her final chapters, the author builds on her theme about Exercising Personal Agency and Control over one’s own life and relationships. Tawwab emphasizes personal agency in her discussion about boundaries with devices and social media. She encourages the reader to recognize their active engagement with these tools, even when using them may feel like a passive experience. She insists, “To a large degree, our digital consumption is within our control [...] The moment we continue to follow something that bothers us, we agree to be bothered” (236).

Tawwab advises the reader to think carefully about how their devices and online content make them feel, and to intentionally curate their online experience rather than allow it to develop thoughtlessly. For example, if a coworker, boss, or friend frequently posts irritating or upsetting content, it is better to hide their posts or even unfollow them. The author maintains, “You can’t control this, but you can control whether you follow them” (238).

Tawwab reiterates that everyone is responsible for communicating and enforcing their own boundaries, even online. To help the reader understand how this is possible, Tawwab shares some of her own rules that she uses on her professional Instagram page, showing how she clearly states how people may ask her questions or use her advice. She reveals, “Even with clear boundaries in place, people attempt to test them. It’s my job to uphold mine by sticking to what I’ve outlined” (240). By warning the reader that people may “push back, question, test your limits, ignore, or ghost you” the author prepares the reader to “push past the discomfort” and embrace the difficult job of advocating for themselves (251-52). This provides a positive and proactive example for the reader that reminds them of their responsibility to identify and communicate their own needs. As Tawwab frequently promotes personal agency, her mantra—“You have the power to choose your user experience” (236)—can apply to both online experiences and life generally. By repeating this argument in these passages, Tawwab urges the reader to shift their mindset from passive resignation to positive action.

Tawwab also adds to her theme about The Relationship Between Self-Care and Boundaries. For instance, she claims that poor professional boundaries cause people to overwork themselves in an effort to be a “good employee” (224). According to Tawwab, this professional success comes at a cost, as people compromise their work-life balance, neglecting their self-care and working themselves to exhaustion. She writes, “Burnout is a response to unhealthy boundaries” (224). This discussion reminds the reader that Time Boundaries must also apply to work, which can easily balloon and take up one’s leisure time. It also emphasizes that self-care includes protecting one’s mental health, creativity, and energy from depletion. Her suggestions about taking vacation days, making time for other pursuits, and beginning or ending the day with positive or motivational activities remind the reader to integrate mental wellness into their work-life balance.

In her final chapter, Tawwab reiterates how setting boundaries is a form of self-care, since it can bring myriad benefits to one’s life. For instance, she claims that people with boundaries “have healthier relationships that tend to last longer,” “experience less stress,” “feel more joyful,” “sleep better” and “experience less burnout” (252). The author’s personal confession that she used to feel “anxious” and “constantly frustrated and resentful” in her relationships shows how setting boundaries helped her to prioritize her own needs (249). Tawwab’s analysis about the relationship between self-care and boundaries encourages the reader to broaden their mind about their own definition of self-care and their relationship with themselves.