See You in the Cosmos

“He said, I leave to go to the bathroom for one minute and Alex tries to ditch me at the station, some brother, huh?” 

The “older kid” who approaches Alex at the Amtrak station poses as Alex’s older brother so that the train attendant will allow Alex to board. Alex is grateful for the older kid’s help. Later, an ambulance takes the kid from the train, foreshadowing challenges that Alex will encounter on his own journey.

“Zed says we’ll figure out a way.” 

Alex meets Zed while the passengers briefly detrain due to the delay caused by the older kid’s emergency. Alex is concerned that the carpoolers who agreed to meet and drive together to SHARF from Albuquerque will not wait for him. Zed is confident they will solve the ride situation and Alex believes him. This demonstrates his inability to find his own solutions to his problems and a willingness to rely on others, a result of his youth and inexperience.

“Zed wrote on his chalkpad, Tell Me More […].”

Zed is genuinely interested in Alex, his travels, his interests, and especially his family situation. Alex begins to tell Zed about how useful the internet is, and especially Ancestry.com, which has clues about his father. Zed asks by way of his chalkboard for more information, which sets in motion the journey to track down Alex’s father in Las Vegas.

“Ken typed the letter D for D-class in the column next to my name and he said I’m ready to go, I’m the first official entrant!” 

The morning after Alex arrives at the SHARF site, he meets Ken Russell from K&H Rocket Supplies, from whom Alex ordered his rocket building materials. He helps Ken set up the “Launchurdles” for that morning’s competition and Ken registers Alex for the D-class event.

“He said if we can do something that big, something that’s never been done before in the history of humanity, then of course we can solve all the problems we have at home, DUH! And I agree.”

Alex relates to his alien audience the words of his scientific hero Carl Sagan, who responded to critics who felt Earth’s problems should take priority over space science. Alex strongly agrees, showing his trait of optimism.

“My launch. I can’t believe it! I’m launching my Golden iPod into space!” 

Alex is excited to launch his rocket at SHARF. He trusts the simulator he used at home that showed his rocket would launch successfully, despite not having tested it beforehand. Alex’s rocket does not make it into space, which represents lack of forethought and shows that Alex still has room to grow and mature in many ways.

“Where’s Carl Sagan?” 

Alex is surprised and distraught to see Steve leave Zelda’s, the “weird casino,” without Carl Sagan. Steve says he left the dog tied to a signpost, but he is now missing. Alex grows increasingly upset over losing his dog and his reaction displays his emotional immaturity. The three spend hours looking for him and go the next day to the address Zed found for Alex’s “maybe dad” to get his help.

“It’s OK. You did good, sister!”

Alex calls Terra “sister” after having just met her. This illustrates his desire for family love and support, which he finds lacking in his mother and Ronnie. 

“I said, Of course I’m full of questions, how can I find out the truth about stuff if I don’t ask questions, DUH!” 

Terra tells Alex he has many questions soon after they meet, and this is his response. His reaction shows that Alex has a naturally curious personality and that he is open to learning new things. He is set on discovering the truth about his father and wants to know about Terra’s life up to this point.

“I’m still not sure how my dad had two families at the same time but I think Terra’s mom might know.” 

Alex records this statement into his iPod at the end of the night in Terra’s apartment. Terra tries asking her mother, Donna, about Alex’s and her father, but Terra is not satisfied with Donna’s answers. This hints at the strained relationship that Terra has with her mother, which Alex will learn about later. 

“And Terra said these things are better handled in person.”

Terra speaks to Ronnie by phone when she and Alex arrive at Ronnie’s condominium in Los Angeles and discover that he is in Detroit. She explains that she will take care of Alex until Ronnie returns but does not reveal she is their half-sibling. Alex, listening to Terra’s end of the conversation, asks why she did not tell, and Terra replies with this line.

“I was really surprised you punched him. I think you gave him a black eye.” 

Alex is concerned and upset when the events in the guys’ apartment turn aggressive, telling Terra that violence is not the solution to everything. She agrees but states that she was worried Steve might hurt Alex. This shows the juxtaposition in Terra’s personality. On the one hand, she is protective and caring towards Alex. However, her actions here also demonstrate an impulsive and reckless side. 

“Don’t let anyone tell you something’s impossible.” 

Terra reassures Alex that with help and time, he can accomplish the goals he sets, even a rocket launch. Even with Terra’s reassurance, however, Alex is beginning to worry that he may not be able to find everything he seeks. He wonders how to justify the hard truth of some situations.

“It’s like…the way when two people are together they can make something more. Like, a third thing.” 

Terra explains to Alex what real love is. She conveys that a good relationship can bring both individuals to a level of fulfillment that they cannot achieve each on his or her own. Alex mistakenly refers to Hannah, the Russells’ daughter, being the “third thing” in their relationship, but Terra tries to explain that what she really means is a kind of positive “energy.”

“Rocket scientist, you’re a sweetheart. You’re going to make Dr. Judith Bloomington a happy lady someday.” 

Terra makes this comment to Alex when she wakes up in Ronnie’s bed in Alex’s house in Rockview. While she slept, exhausted from the six-hour rainy drive, Alex removed her shoes, went to the store, cooked dinner, and provided Terra with a clean toothbrush. Whereas Terra previously looked after Alex when they were in Las Vegas and Los Angeles, Alex now returns the favor when they are at his house. 

“Something is very, very wrong here.”

After Alex’s accident, Terra returns to Alex’s house and discovers strange details: stacked coupon flyers, dusty rooms, a dented car. She realizes she never heard Alex speak to his mother in person and becomes afraid that Alex is making up the fact that his mother lives there consistently or exists at all.

“I just want to know the truth. Your hero believed in the truth, right?” 

While Alex is in the hospital recovering from his fall, Terra questions him about how long Alex’s mother leaves Alex alone to go on her walks. Alex cannot speak because of his accident but communicates with raised fingers. Terra presses him to be honest with her, and she learns that he is alone for at least days at a time.

“Hey Alex, let’s go over by the window. Steve brought another surprise for you too.” 

While Alex recovers in the hospital, Steve and Zed visit him. On the way from Los Angeles to Rockview, they stop in Las Vegas to pick up Carl Sagan from Janine Maplethorn. This shows a shift in Steve’s character and his view towards Alex. Previously he resented the unwanted responsibility of caring for Alex. However, as the book progresses, he warms towards Alex and grows to genuinely care for him.

“Then I wondered…do YOU GUYS have sadness?” 

At this point in the novel, everyone is dealing with their own sadness and sense of helplessness. Alex is out of the hospital, but Steve and Terra have a sad conversation, Ronnie is worried about money and Alex’s future, Alex’s mother is in the hospital, and even Zed is sad. Alex, who is normally so optimistic, asks his potential alien audience if they also experience sadness. This shows a break towards his later epiphany, where he begins to understand the complexity and universality of emotions.

“It’s just that she’s…not ready.”

Alex grows frustrated that he cannot visit his mother in the hospital. He cannot grasp the severity of her condition and the reality that he will not be able to take care of her on his own. He stops speaking to everyone, which shows his inability to process difficult, complex emotions.

“He was a cheater. A bully and a cheater.” 

Ronnie tells Alex the truth about their father, breaking the romantic, idealized version Alex believed of his mother and father’s relationship and of them falling in love on Mount Sam. By being honest with Alex, Ronnie acknowledges that Alex is able to handle the truth about their family. It also suggests that Ronnie is willing to accept responsibility for the outcome of this truth and its effect on Alex.

“What the heck is a dad anyway?” 

After learning the truth about his father, Alex begins to understand that family can be defined in many different ways. Although he initially set out on his “father quest” to track down his biological dad, Alex found other parental stand-ins along the way in Steve, Zed, Ronnie, and Terra. Their kindness and willingness to look after Alex fit what a “dad” (or any parent) is supposed to be.

“WORDS ARE SHADOWS TOO!”

Alex has an epiphany after Juanita the social worker suggests that they find a way for Alex to stay in Colorado. He considers how “shadows” of his father remain in the living room, and how these reminders are four-dimensional like a tesseract. He decides that moments when people are brave, loving, and truthful—abstract nouns difficult to explain—might be part of the same tesseract, making us all a part of the whole that is the cosmos. Definitions for words like love, truth, and bravery don’t do a full job of explaining the importance of what they represent, and for that reason, Alex decides that they are “shadows” of those moments.