Please Look After Mom

So-nyo narrates this chapter in the first person. It’s implied that So-nyo is now a spirit.

So-nyo visits her youngest daughter’s house in Puam-dong. She’ll next visit someone she only refers to as “that man” (179). So-nyo delights in seeing pine trees laden with snow in front of her daughter’s house. Her daughter has three children who occupy the woman’s entire life; one of them comes outside, sees an injured gray bird, and shouts for So-nyo’s daughter. When So-nyo’s daughter stares silently at the injured bird, So-nyo guesses that her daughter equates So-nyo with the bird. So-nyo’s daughter fed these birds several days ago, remembering that So-nyo used to feed birds when the family lived in the country. So-nyo identifies the injured bird as a black-bellied plover and, while alluding to “that man” again, says she saw plovers flying near the water where he lives in Komso.

So-nyo’s daughter stares at the bird and her children ask if it’s dead. Chi-hon calls and informs her younger sister that she is going to Santiago for a month, suggesting that she’d like her sister’s permission to leave. The younger sister gets angry because everyone is going about their lives. Their mom has been missing since summer—it’s now winter. She accuses Chi-hon of running away and hangs up. Chi-hon comes to her sister’s house in person, but drifts in and out of sleep as they talk. So-nyo watches the scene and berates Chi-hon for driving while tired. So-nyo frets because she wants to leave but can’t find the courage to go to her next destination.

So-nyo admires that her youngest daughter meets the needs of all three children with ease. She comforts her son, who wants to go skiing and is sad they’ve moved to this neighborhood; she braids her daughter’s long black hair; and she watches the toddler. When one of the kids sees a new, strange bird in the quince tree, the children and their mother stare it as So-nyo admits that she is that bird. So-nyo apologizes to her daughter’s children because she cared more for their mother than for them. She then apologizes to her daughter for reacting badly when her daughter returned from the US with a third child. So-nyo was shocked: Her youngest daughter was the most educated and accomplished but gave up her independence to parent full time. So-nyo asked her daughter once how she could live such a messy, child-centered life and eventually stopped visiting her daughter because she couldn’t take seeing her with the three children.

To So-nyo, the youngest daughter is her inspiration. She describes her feelings toward her other children as “regretful and guilty” (197), yet the youngest daughter gave So-nyo a freedom she’d never experienced previously. The youngest daughter is actually So-nyo’s fourth child. Before her, So-nyo had a stillborn son whom buried in a field, in a jar. When it was time to have the youngest daughter, she gave birth alone with only baby Chi-hon by her side; she didn’t want anyone there in case she had another stillborn child.

Her youngest daughter renewed So-nyo’s life by coming into the world. So-nyo made enough money to give her youngest daughter all the things she couldn’t give the older children, such as nice clothes and a good education. The youngest daughter attended a top university in Seoul. After the youngest daughter took So-nyo to a funeral for a comrade who died from police brutality, the family was worried that the youngest daughter would become a communist. However, So-nyo never worried about her like she did her other children (her youngest son was beat up by the police once for demonstrating and So-nyo was actively worried for his safety). So-nyo loved attending the funeral because her daughter wanted to be there with her; the youngest daughter also always took So-nyo to fun places around Seoul like the theater, City Hall, and music stores. She showed So-nyo a genuine love of living, so So-nyo wanted her daughter to remain free and focused on helping others.

In the present, So-nyo wants to leave but delights in watching her daughter. Her daughter was the most logical and studious of the children, which is why So-nyo didn’t think she would have the third child. So-nyo assumes that her youngest daughter is sad because she can’t do anything about So-nyo’s disappearance while she’s stuck at home with three children. So-nyo admits that her children’s accomplishments and potential kept her going in life, but that her youngest daughter’s life is no longer uplifting. So-nyo decides to leave, but first she wants to take off the summer clothing she’s wearing and the blue plastic sandals. She then tells her daughter to lift her head up so that she can comfort her one last time.

So-nyo next visits the man she referenced in the beginning of the chapter. She searches for him in Komso but can’t find him there. She sees him in the hospital. The doctor tries to get the man to say his name, Eun-gyu Lee, but the man can only call out other names. The name he repeats most is “Park So-nyo” (201).

So-nyo then flashes back to when she first met Eun-gyu. Back in the country, when she was much younger, she was carrying a large basin on her head filled with flour for ten days’ worth of meals for her children. Eun-gyu rode by on his bike and promised to transport the basin and leave it at a shop down the road. She refused, but then felt bad and accepted. Eun-gyu shot off, but when So-nyo made it into town, she couldn’t find her basin anywhere. Angry, she tracked down Eun-gyu and stormed into his house—only to find his wife in labor. Because Eun-gyu didn’t know what to do, So-nyo delivered the baby, and prepared food for the family with her own flour.

So-nyo watches a man she believes to be Eun-gyu’s son attempt to communicate with his father. So-nyo flashes back to the country village and remembers a younger son in the house when she delivered the child. She visited Eun-gyu a week after the delivery and, to her surprise, learned that his wife had died from complications that included malnourishment. So-nyo makes more food for the family and then tells Eun-gyu her and her sister’s names, which translate as big girl (Tae-nyo) and little girl (So-nyo). Eun-gyu then reveals that his name Eun-gyu contains “silver” while his eldest brother’s name, Kum-gyu, contains “gold,” so that his father called them Silver Coffer and Gold Coffer. So-nyo and Eun-gyu become good friends.

Eun-gyu became a refuge for So-nyo. She visited him whenever she was anxious, tired, or sad. She wonders if he moved to Komso without telling her because her friendship became burdensome. So-nyo found Eun-gyu in Komso and visited for the fun of it at least once. She hints that there might have been attraction between them that neither acted on. So-nyo often thought about Eun-gyu, wondering how their past, present, and future connected. When she disappeared, Eun-gyu searched all over Seoul for her. Now she wonders if his illness stems from her disappearance. Before she leaves, she thanks Eun-gyu for always being there for her.

So-nyo next visits her house in the country. She notes how frozen everything is and realizes that no one is living in the house. She rebukes her husband for not taking care of the house—houses need people to survive—but realizes he might be in Seoul searching for her. She goes to the room where they store Chi-hon’s books, which now look frozen. So-nyo would lie in this room when her headaches were bad. She wanted to learn to read and write to send a note to her family to explain her deteriorating health.

When So-nyo was wandering around Seoul, she couldn’t really remember anything due to the pain. At one point, she sat down and drew a picture of her house in the sand. She recalled making steamed buns for the children near the shed, and how much she loved living in the house with her family.

So-nyo notices the wardrobe. When her health began fading, she burned all her clothes. She also broke and burned all the items she didn’t need. Trying not to feel so depressed in her suffering, one day she went to church and found comfort in touching a stranger’s mink coat. She then asked her youngest daughter to buy her a mink coat, having no idea how much they cost. Her daughter obliged, but when So-nyo found out the price, she tried to return it. This mink coat is the one item she did not burn, so it remains in the closet. As So-nyo recalls more memories about springtime, she hears her sister-in-law come through the gate. Though she’s happy to see someone taking care of the house, she’s shocked to see her sister-in-law so sad. Her sister-in-law talks as if she can see So-nyo, but So-nyo doesn’t like this version of her sister-in-law because she can’t do anything about her guilt and kindness now. Moreover, when So-nyo was younger, she often looked up to her sister-in-law’s steadfastness. So-nyo forgives her sister-in-law, but knows that she doesn’t want to reside in the family ancestral site.

In another memory, So-nyo recalls Chi-hon always reading in the shed. She also remembers that they once had a dog that grew sick after So-nyo gave one of her puppies to the sister-in-law. The dog didn’t eat until So-nyo returned the puppy. Overcome by the past, So-nyo admits that she doesn’t “know where to stop these memories […] Everything I forgot is rushing back” (210). She remembers several other happy times, and implores her sister-in-law to ask the youngest daughter to look after the house. So-nyo remembers that her husband, when drunk, once lied that he lived in Yokchon-dong with Hyong-chol instead of in the country house, but So-nyo will always prefer this house.

When So-nyo became lost in Seoul, she could only remember her life when she was three years old. She recalled that her father had died in a factory accident and that villagers scolded her for playing while her mother cried. With this memory in mind, she collapsed in Seoul from exhaustion.

The chapter ends with So-nyo seeing her mother sitting on the porch of their house. Her mother sees her and welcomes her over. So-nyo’s grandmother had had a vision of a cow when So-nyo entered the world, a dream that meant So-nyo would be energetic. In the present, seeing So-nyo’s sandals and festering foot, So-nyo’s mother laments her child’s misfortune. The older woman’s face resembles the face So-nyo made when she saw her dead baby. So-nyo embraces her mother. She wonders if her mother knows that So-nyo has “needed her my entire life” (228).