18 pages • 36 minutes read
Aimee NezhukumatathilOn Listening to Your Teacher Take Attendance
Fiction | Poem | Adult | Published in 2018A modern alternative to SparkNotes and CliffsNotes, SuperSummary offers high-quality Study Guides with detailed chapter summaries and analysis of major themes, characters, and more.
Themes
Social Exclusion
It is human nature to desire to belong to a group just as it is human nature to reject that which is different from us. These two desires clash in Nezhukumatathil’s poem as the speaker tries to make sense of the experience of ostracism. The teacher’s “butcher[ing]” (Line 6) of the speaker’s name singles her out to her peers as someone who is not the same as they are. While the teacher “means well” (Line 5), he still holds the name in his mouth like a “sausage casing stuck / between his teeth” (Lines 7-8). The microaggression of the act is metaphorically noted by the “handprints / on his white, sloppy apron” (Line 9). The handprints suggest evidence of his guilt, and the sloppiness suggests his careless attitude. Moreover, the prior cleanliness of the classroom is tainted now, despite the “mopped floors and wiped-down / doorknobs” (Lines 3-4). The students are led by the example of their teacher, and perhaps the parents who “set out their clothes” (Line 20).
In a scene reminiscent of a horror film, the students collectively gawk at the speaker with their “icy blues” (Line 13). The mention serves to align the students with the scallop, a mollusk with multiple blue eyes. However, it also implies that the speaker’s own eyes are not blue, therefore, the speaker’s ethnicity sets her apart as “all those necks start to crane” (18). While the speaker tries to imagine those staring at her as merely children, she cannot help but concentrate on their “pencil cases / from third grade, full of sharp pencils” (Lines 21-22) and “their handheld pencil sharpener and its tiny blade” (Line 23). Here, the students are metaphorically linked with the teacher. The students—despite their age—are potential butchers in word or deed, and the speaker is their potential target.
Awe as Self-Help
Psychologists and behavioral scientists have discovered that cultivating a sense of wonder and awe can help individuals confronted with depression and/or trauma regain equilibrium. The speaker in “On Listening to Your Teacher Take Attendance” instinctively returns to wonder to combat the difficult classroom environment. By remembering her vacation to the “China Sea” (Line 15), she recalls an engagement with awe to self-soothe when confronted by an intimidating collective. When the students turn to look at the speaker, rather than “flush red and warm” (Line 11), the speaker imagines the classroom as “one big scallop with its dozens of icy blues” (Line 13), which propels her into a memory of “that winter [her] family / took [her] to the China Sea” (Lines 14-15). The speaker immerses herself in the memory—both literally and figuratively. She remembers that she “sank / [her] face in [the water] to gaze at baby clams and sea stars” (Lines 15-16).
The speaker understands the benefit of reaching for this memory, which is symbolized by her comparison of “[her] outstretched hand” (Line 17) as she reached for the creatures underwater. Here, the connection to the sea creatures uplifts the speaker. The world, the speaker realizes, is bigger than this one moment of embarrassment. This memory helps in two other significant ways: There is a reminder of her family unit, as the family went together on the trip. The family is an alternative unit in which the currently ostracized speaker definitely belongs. In this memory, there is also the connection to the natural world, which extends beyond the speaker’s social conflict. All of this gives the speaker a continual source of strength to tap into during this moment of trauma.
Erasure and Retribution
“On Listening to Your Teacher Take Attendance” shows the speaker feeling embarrassed after the teacher “butchers” (Line 6) her name. This causes the speaker’s classmates to turn and stare at her, adding to her discomfort. The teacher’s action effectively nullifies the speaker’s potential to be part of the collective. However, through metaphor, the speaker shows that she will overcome this incident and even engage in rectifying the actions of those in the classroom. If the “classroom / is one big scallop” (Lines 12-13), what the speaker remembers about her family’s trip to the “China Sea” (Line 15) becomes significant. The reference to the sea star, the scallop’s natural enemy and main predator, hints that the speaker understands she can have the last say over her ostracism.
At the end of the poem, the speaker mentions the other students’ “sharp pencils” (Line 22) that are housed in their “pencil cases” (Line 21). Here, there are metaphoric correlations between the case of the scallop and the pencil case, as well as the “sharp pencils” (Line 22) aligning with the tentacles of the scallop’s mouth. The students have the potential to use these writing utensils as weapons, to record who and what is allowed in the classroom. They forget, though, that also inside is “a pink pearl eraser” (Line 22), a gem forged by the classroom’s environment. Here, there is a correlation between the speaker and the “pearl.” This “pearl” is also an eraser, capable of rewriting the students’ weaponized narrative. The speaker harnesses the capacity to erase by holding an eraser in her hand, which, as mentioned earlier, is the same size as the “sea stars” (Line 16) she sees underwater. Thus, erasure becomes an act of eliminating the collective environment. This is exhibited within the context of the poem. As reprisal, the teacher’s name remains unspoken. The students, too, have no names, nor any distinguishing individual features. Like a sea star would eat a scallop, the speaker has erased the existence of those who would harm her.
