My Grandmother Asked Me to Tell You She's Sorry

Encourage readers to connect the book’s themes and characters with their personal experiences.

1. Reflect on Elsa’s grandmother’s use of stories to teach lessons. Is there a loved one who has stayed with you or shaped your perspective somehow? Overall, did Elsa’s bond with her grandmother, which drives the storyline, resonate emotionally with you?

2. Books and stories bring comfort to Elsa throughout her life. Have books and storytelling been crucial to your own journey or provided an escape during a difficult time?

3. Discuss Elsa’s journey in understanding death and grief. Did it feel plausible and compelling to you? Why or why not? 

4. Elsa finds strength in her uniqueness, seeing it as a superpower. Are there any parts of yourself that you may have once labeled “different” that you have come to accept and embrace?

Examine the book’s relevance to societal issues, historical events, or cultural themes.

1. How does the novel address societal perceptions of “normalcy” through Elsa’s individual experiences and through the nontraditional family structures the story represents? In what other aspects of contemporary life might this critique be relevant?

2. Analyze the apartment building as a microcosm for society at large, the residents as symbols of human diversity, and Elsa’s grandmothers’ stories as an allegorical journey through the universal human experience.

3. Discuss the novel’s treatment of substance use and mental health. What does the story assert about the dangers of isolation?

Dive into the book’s structure, characters, themes, and symbolism.

1. Analyze the role of fairytales and the conceit of “The Land of Almost-Awake” within the larger story. What does the novel assert about the importance of stories for children?

2. Discuss the significance of names in the story.

3. Explore the motif of loneliness and connection through each of the residents of the building. How does Elsa and her quest to deliver the letters become a bridge between them all?

4. Explore the tension between Elsa’s memories of her grandmother and reality. How does Backman use the grandmother character to address the complexities of being a mother with a career?

5. What does Elsa’s grandmother’s car symbolize?

6. Discuss the importance of intergenerational relationships (as presented through Elsa and her grandmother as well as her relationship with her father and others in the community). How does this aspect of the novel relate to its broader themes?