my dream about being white

In “my dream about being white,” the speaker, presumably an avatar for Clifton herself, describes a dream about being white, as the title suggests. The first line “hey music” (Line 1) suggests she is surprised. The interjection “hey” (Line 1) establishes a colloquial vernacular, suggesting an intimate connection with the reader. It may also imply that the speaker is addressing herself because her tone is so informal and intimate. The next lines “me / only white” (Lines 2-3) establish the conceit of the poem and inform the reader that the speaker of the poem is not white in real life but only in her dream. The next part of the poem reveals how the speaker feels about the appearance of white women as contrasted with the appearance of Black women: “perfect / line of a nose” (Lines 6-7) suggests that the speaker views traditionally “white” (Line 3) features as being more “perfect” (Line 6) than those of African American features. Next the speaker describes more about her “white” (Line 3) appearance.

It is significant, though, that her language is privative; she addresses not what her “white” (Line 10) self has, but rather what her white self lacks. She has “no lips, / no behind” (Lines 8-9). This is a complex observation, no matter how simple it sounds. It is a way of suggesting that the speaker feels that non-white her has big “lips” (Line 8) and a big “behind” (Line 9). She may even be criticizing the size of these features. At the same time, she seems to hyperbolize the smallness of these features in white women, mocking how they have “no lips” (Line 8) and “no behind” (Line 9) as opposed to saying they have smaller lips and behinds. In this simple phrase, she displays a self-consciousness about the size of these body parts on her real-life figure and, at the same time, belittles—quite literally—the idealization of white women’s beauty.

The next line presents a significant leap from the physical description of “white me” (Line 10) to the greater social significance of being white. She says she is “wearing / white history” (Lines 11-12). This metaphor compares “history” (Line 12) to a garment. The significance of the word “wear” (Line 11) suggests a number of possibilities. One wears clothing to protect themselves, to conceal the body, and to signify social status. At the same time, clothes can be removed. They are superficial and may not represent a person’s true identity.

Like skin, a person’s clothes might determine how that person is seen by others, but they do not necessarily show the truth about that person; the speaker dramatically demonstrates this in the next line when she “take[s] them off” (Line 15) because “there’s no future / in those clothes” (Lines 13-14). This seems to be a declaration of awareness that the “dream about being white” is unrealistic. It is only a dream or a wish, and continuing to wish for impossibilities only holds the speaker back in her life. She suggests that she does not have a future in those clothes, because she does not have a future as a white woman. Ultimately, she shows that this realization is freeing for her. Immediately after she removes the clothes of whiteness, she “wake[s] up / dancing” (Lines 16-17).

The literal meaning of waking up is that she comes out of sleep, but the connotation is to emerge from an illusion or to have an epiphany. Waking to the understanding that “there’s no future” (Line 13) in wearing the clothes of whiteness suggests the speaker will no longer try to fit into the stereotypical standards of white beauty. This also implies she will embrace rather than disdain her “lips” (Line 8), “behind” (Line 9), and “nose” (Line 7). Embracing her true self allows her to not only “wake up” (Line 16) but also dance. “[D]ancing” (Line 17) is an expression of the body and what it can do; it is an especially appropriate signifier of her embracing her physical being, as she uses it to celebrate and express herself.