43 pages • 1 hour read
John GroganMarley and Me: Life and Love with the World’s Worst Dog
Nonfiction | Autobiography / Memoir | Adult | Published in 2005A modern alternative to SparkNotes and CliffsNotes, SuperSummary offers high-quality Study Guides with detailed chapter summaries and analysis of major themes, characters, and more.
Themes
Love Is Unconditional
Marley demonstrates unconditional love toward the growing Grogan family. When John and Jenny are exhausted and overwhelmed as new parents, Marley keeps up his end of the relationship, never letting John out of his sight (125). Marley loves John’s attention, but he continues to love John even when John is too busy or tired for him. When Jenny is at the hospital for nearly two weeks, Marley is John’s loyal companion at home with Patrick. He remains loyal to John even when John is too busy, distracted, and exhausted to return the attention. John never has to teach Marley loyalty or devotion because “he intuitively grasped from the start what it meant to be man’s best friend” (277).
It takes John several years to accept that Marley’s nature is not ideal or likely to change. As he accepts Marley for the dog he is rather than compare him to the dogs he’ll never be, John becomes Marley’s staunch protector and advocate. He carefully navigates Jenny’s postpartum ultimatum, keeping Marley in the family despite the anger Marley triggers in Jenny. John is willing to put in effort to help Marley remain part of the family. He also demonstrates unconditional love for Jenny during this difficult time. He understands that Jenny really loves Marley and isn’t acting like herself, and in disregarding her demands to get rid of Marley he’s also trying to protect her from later regretting her decision.
Unconditional love means loving Marley for who he is. As John writes, “We loved that crazy old dog, loved him despite everything—or perhaps because of everything” (260). Marley’s perceived flaws don’t make him a bad dog. Instead, his quirks make him all the more lovable to his family. Marley is not a textbook-perfect Labrador, but John and Jenny are not perfect owners either. Jenny is misguided in her reasons for wanting a dog in the first place, considering a dog a step between a houseplant and a child, and John struggles to establish boundaries and authority, allowing Marley to sleep in the bedroom with him on the first night. Even when Jenny releases her rage by striking Marley with her fists, he quietly accepts his punishment and is eager to return to her good graces when she’s ready to bring him back into the family. Marley doesn’t hold these flaws against the Grogans; he loves them all the more for choosing him and raising him with leniency and devotion.
Family Support Through Loss and Change
The story opens during a time in John’s life when his career is on the verge of its height and family planning feels like a small window of opportunity. Until this point in their marriage, the Grogans haven’t experienced much to challenge them or push them outside their comfort zone. They have a two-income household, they own their home, and their careers are solidly established, but challenges are triggered when Jenny pushes to grow their family. Admitting that they both want a baby is the first shared step John and Jenny take in embracing the next stage of life ahead of them.
Jenny’s miscarriage is the first major challenge the Grogans face together in the story. She is distant from John on the way home from the tragic appointment, then collapses into emotional sobs while embracing Marley. Marley is uncharacteristically calm, as though he knows his role in the moment is to comfort her. John in turn supports Marley when Jenny’s outlook is distorted by postpartum depression, protecting Marley from Jenny’s volatile temper and allowing Jenny to recover without lingering judgment. Even Aunt Anita’s brief visit demonstrates the great impact a simple act of familial support can provide. She arrives just when John is reaching the height of his exhaustion, trying to balance work and a baby while Jenny is on bedrest. Aunt Anita’s presence is brief yet powerful, giving John enough support to make it to the next stage in supporting Jenny through her pregnancy.
The whole Grogan family gathers to bury Marley in the backyard, supporting one another in their shared grief over his death. They bond over memories of Marley, and John assures the children that Marley is in dog heaven. John doesn’t believe in heaven himself, but he tells the kids that Marley is in an eternally happy place because he knows it will help them feel better about their loss (275).
Jenny plays a background role in John’s narrative about Marley, but she remains consistently supportive of John’s career. When they’re first married, John and Jenny write for rival newspapers, but they never let that come between their personal relationship. When John stumbles upon a seemingly perfect job opportunity, Jenny easily agrees to pack the family and their home, and move to another state to support John’s career. And when John tires of working for a quiet gardening magazine, Jenny supports him as he pursues a switch back to writing columns, even though it means a long daily commute. Jenny consistently puts John’s career ambitions ahead of her own, paving the way for the family to embrace further change and opportunity as it comes their way.
Relationships Built Upon Shared Experiences
Marley ushers John and Jenny into the next phase of life together. John writes,
He came into our lives just as we were trying to figure out what they would become. He joined us as we grappled with what every couple must eventually confront, the sometimes painful process of forging from two distinct pasts one shared future (287).
Before Marley, John and Jenny are newlyweds with separate backgrounds living in a city to which they have no shared ties. They are career-driven and appreciate material luxuries, such as the beautiful Persian rug that sits upon their pristinely refurbished oak floors in their renovated bungalow home. Marley pushes John and Jenny out of their comfort zone in multiple ways: He challenges their authority and discipline, he destroys their prized material items, and he welcomes them to trust him.
John seeks and celebrates shared experiences. When Jenny is in labor with their first child, John connects with fellow fathers in the “indigent ward” with smiles, nods, and a thumbs up, “the international sign of approval” (106). Dinner in the private labor ward afterward isn’t anything special—the shared feeling of love and family makes the indigent ward a special if fleeting experience.
John’s relationship with Marley is largely founded on their shared experiences supporting Jenny through miscarriage, bedrest, and postpartum depression. They bond over their role in supporting Jenny through her midlife challenges. Although Jenny is distant toward John on the way home from her devastating doctor appointment, she brings John into the hug she shares with Marley, connecting them all in supporting one another through their grief. Jenny’s relationship with Marley allows John to see his wife from different perspectives, sometimes more flattering and sometimes frightening, such as when she strikes Marley at the height of her depression.
Realizing that Marley’s less desirable characteristics aren’t entirely unique makes John feel better about himself as a dog owner. There are other flawed Labradors, and the book No Bad Dogs shows John that he’s not alone in raising a less-than-ideal Labrador. The shared experience with other dog owners encourages John and he feels supported, which gives him courage to accept Marley for who he is rather than regretting who he isn’t. Fellow dog owners also help John come to terms with his grief after Marley’s death. Responding to as many reader messages and letters as possible proves cathartic for John. He writes:
I felt better, as though I was part of a giant cyber-support group. My private mourning had become a public therapy session, and in this crowd there was no shame in admitting a real, piercing grief for something as seemingly inconsequential as an old, smelly dog (283).
