King of Sloth

“Vacation or not, I was still me. I didn’t let people see past what I wanted them to see, and nothing would change that—not even a forced week off with my client nemesis.”

With the firm, stubborn tone of this assertion, Sloane actively rejects Xavier’s attempt to help her relinquish her need for control. By equating her very identity with her emotional walls and boundaries, Sloane reinforces her lifelong belief that her professional façade is her entire personality, and she actively rejects the idea of considering the deeper emotions that lie suppressed in her psyche. By labeling Xavier her “client nemesis,” she also establishes a generalized form of the enemies-to-lovers trope, which will evolve as she and Xavier become closer despite these self-imposed barriers to greater connection.

“Sloane was exercising on the back deck, wearing a tank top and yoga pants. Yoga pants. It might seem normal to see someone wearing workout clothes to work out, but this was Sloane. I’d known her for three years and I had never, not once, seen her in anything other than an evening dress or business wear. I was convinced she slept in those knife-sharp suits she favored so much. […] Her phone pinged with a new notification. My mouth twitched when she balanced herself so she could type out a reply with one hand before she resettled into her original position and closed her eyes.”

In this passage told from Xavier’s perspective, Huang implements an ironic moment to emphasize Sloane’s constant focus on work and her determination to avoid taking any time for herself. Although yoga is meant to relieve stress and serve as a break from work, Sloane punctuates her routine with breaks to answer emails, proving that she is fundamentally incapable of distancing herself from her work and its related stress. This contradiction highlights the importance of Maintaining a Balance Between Control and Laxity.

“I prided myself on maintaining my composure at all times, but Xavier was the only person who could make me lose my cool.”

As Sloane reflects on Xavier’s irreverent personality, it is clear that he serves as her foil in a variety of ways. This passage hints that Xavier will play a key role in helping Sloane reevaluate her priorities in life. His carefree attitude and easy optimism contrast deeply with her need to maintain control over every aspect of her life, and ironically, because his injunction that she accompany him on a vacation is technically part of her job, she has no choice but to comply with his desire to loosen her up and draw her outside of her comfort zone.

“Despite the frustrations, the breakneck pace, and the clients who made me want to tear my hair out sometimes, I thrived under pressure. There was no downtime for reflection. There were only problems I could solve and solutions I could implement. People could call me a bitch or an ice queen, but there was one unshakeable, undeniable truth—I was the best at what I did. Hands down. That was why CEOs, celebrities, and socialites paid me the big bucks. They didn’t all like me personally, but they respected me and they needed me.”

While the assertive tone of Sloane’s description initially indicates that she is fully in charge of her life and proud of the breakneck pace of her high-stakes job, her assertions that she is “respected” and “needed” betray the true reason for her unrelenting diligence. Ultimately, Sloane uses her fast-paced work environment as a shield against self-reflection; if she is busy solving other people’s crises, she has no time to confront and overcome her own issues. She therefore derives her self-worth from external sources rather than recognizing that she has inherent value regardless of her professional performance.

“Every time I looked at him, I saw disappointment, frustration, and resentment. I saw the parent who’d taken out his anger on me when I’d been too young to understand the complexities of grief, who’d given up on me and made me give up on myself before I even started.”

In this passage told from Xavier’s perspective, the protagonist reveals that he carries profound emotional scars of unfulfilled parental expectations and misdirected blame in the face of grief. As the narrative will eventually reveal, Xavier once accidentally started a fire that caused his mother’s death, and his father mishandled his own grief and blamed his son for this tragedy, creating unnecessary emotional scars in Xavier that have damaged and negatively impacted him for over a decade.

“Perhaps I was overstepping, but screw it. It was better to be safe than sorry. Sloane’s professional reputation meant everything to her, and she would never forgive herself if one drunken night jeopardized what it’d taken her years to build.”

This passage illustrates Xavier’s care and respect for Sloane, even in the novel’s earliest moments. In this scene, he overcomes his usual approach—which is to avoid taking any responsibility at all—and proactively limits the damage that Sloane’s uncharacteristically drunken behavior would otherwise do to her carefully curated professional persona. Because he acts to protect Sloane’s reputation when she is incapable of doing so herself, this moment illustrates how deeply he respects her. Despite his image of laziness, he puts in the effort to make sure that she is safe and protected.

“The greatest gift we have is time. My mother’s pocket watch weighed heavy in my pocket as I entered the Valhalla Club’s bar. It was a week after my father’s funeral and my return to New York. I’d spent the past six days brooding over my situation, but it was time to get off my ass and do something.”

The pocket watch, engraved with the quote about time, serves as a constant reminder that Xavier should make the most of his life. By emphasizing the physical weight of the pocket watch, Huang’s narrative makes it clear that Xavier sees his mother’s injunction as a significant aspect of his life: an obligation that he has to fulfill her expectations that he will not squander his time or his potential. With this reminder, Xavier is motivated to make progress on his nightclub using every moment of the six months he has rather than allowing another moment to go to waste.

“Sloane was on my side, but she wouldn’t lie if my business turned out to be crap in six months. Eduardo and Tío Martin would give me as much grace as they could. Mariana hated my fucking guts. Dante…well, he was the wild card. Luca’s brother wasn’t my biggest fan, but could I trust him to be fair regardless of his feelings toward me?”

This passage explicitly states the high stakes involved in Xavier’s fulfillment of the terms of his father’s will. He not only has to succeed at opening a nightclub, but he must also convince five individuals to judge his ventures as successful before he can receive his inheritance. This extreme pressure creates a hint of doubt as to whether he will succeed.

“When was the last time someone put this much thought into something for me? My exes had taken me to expensive dinners and exclusive shows, which were nice, but they only cost money. Time and care required far more effort, and no one had ever deemed me worthy of those things.”

Surprised by the level of attention that Xavier has put into their interactions, Sloane reflects on the deeper, more meaningful gestures of care that have been absent from her past relationships. Xavier’s attentiveness to her wants and needs causes her to become more aware of the emotional gaps in her life. Her statement that “no one had ever deemed [her] worthy” also indicates her tendency to seek validation from external sources.

“I missed sex because I hadn’t had it in a month, but I hadn’t realized how much I’d missed this. Non-sexual touches. Easy intimacy. Connection, in one form or another. Maybe it was because I hadn’t had this in years, if I’d ever really had it at all.”

Sloane’s contemplative tone speaks volumes about the lack of intimacy in her life over the years. Huang also uses the scene to challenge a common convention of the romance genre; when Sloane’s thoughts emphasize the importance of “easy intimacy,” the author suggests that love and familiarity are in some ways far more important than the single-minded preoccupation with sex that characterizes many such romance novels. Thus, as Sloane acknowledges the emotional connection that she is developing with Xavier, her words also highlight her suppressed longing for a version of intimacy that goes behind physical desire.

“The beginnings of a storm brewed behind my ribcage, but as always, it was all sound and no fury. No rain, no tears. Just an endless, ceaseless pressure that yearned to break but couldn’t.”

By invoking stormy imagery and metaphors to indicate the intensity of her emotions, Sloane also conveys the fierceness with which she instinctively suppresses her feelings. These thoughts directly contradict other characters’ accusations that Sloane feels nothing at all, and although she has never cried out of sadness, it is clear that she is far from immune from such emotions. However, her ongoing struggle to cry real tears perpetuates her belief that she lacks emotional depth simply because she cannot express emotions as most people do. This misguided assumption makes her more insecure in her relationships.

“Her reassurance eased only a smidge of guilt. The rest continued to fester like a nest of vipers, their serpentine coils slithering through my gut and squeezing tighter with each what if and shouldn’t have. Yet another case of me fucking up.”

After Perry Wilson releases the story revealing Sloane’s secret meeting with Pen to the public, Xavier is overcome with guilt. He feels that he has let Sloane down, and this belief fuels his long-held notion that he always fails the people he loves. The scene also reveals the true drift of his thoughts on the matter, and as he laments “yet another case of […] fucking up,” his defeated tone reflects his deeply ingrained self-contempt and implies that he still needs to work on Overcoming the Fear of Failure.

“Once upon a time, I’d thought he was the love of my life. I’d been so swept up by his good looks, his deceptively sweet words, and the magic of falling in love abroad like in the rom-coms I watched so often. His proposal was supposed to mark the start of our happily ever after. But happily ever afters didn’t always end so happily, and now, after age and experience stripped the rose tint off my glasses, I saw him with crystal clarity. His hair was too perfect, his clothes too pressed, his smile too fake. His words dripped with entitlement instead of a teasing lilt, and what I’d mistaken for charm was simply manipulation wrapped in shiny clothing. He was so utterly boring, so nauseatingly fake, that I couldn’t believe I’d ever fallen in love with him. Most of all, I couldn’t believe I’d let this asshole scare me away from relationships for so long. He didn’t deserve the power I’d given him over me, and I was done letting him ruin my life.”

In this scene, Sloane reevaluates her ex-fiancé, Bentley, and finally recognizes his false front and manipulative tactics for what they are. This moment of clarity gives her a new appreciation for her own value, and when she compares her past relationship with Bentley to her current relationship with Xavier, she also realizes the extent to which she was “settling” for Bentley. Upon comparing the two men, she realizes that her previous relationship was shallow and inauthentic, and she understands that all her insecurities have been misplaced.

“I’d written many film reviews excoriating the cheesy power move of throwing a drink in a guy’s face, but as I hailed a cab to go home, I concluded I’d been wrong. The move may be cliché, but it was damn satisfying. Sometimes, the rom-coms got it right.”

As Sloane’s romantic connection with Xavier grows, she gradually sheds her contempt for the many clichés of the romance genre and comes to embrace them instead. In many ways, this character-based shift is used as a plot device to allow Huang easy access to common romance tropes. Ironically, by having the character declare a plot point a “cliché,” Huang essentially gives herself permission to indulge in clichéd writing.

“You don’t want this to work; you need this to work because the club is a reflection of you. If it fails, you fail, and you would do anything not to fail.”

This passage highlights the immense pressure on Xavier to succeed. The repetition of the word “fail” also highlights his lifelong fear of failing others, and given the immense pressure of his current endeavor, his underlying belief that he is doomed to fail acts as a form of self-sabotage that will hinder him when key setbacks occur in later chapters. This dynamic also creates a sense of suspense around the question of whether Xavier will fold under the pressure or will overcome his fear of failure and redouble his efforts to change his path in life.

“Speaking of getting rid of people, you know Xavier’s going to leave you […] I’m sure dating you is a novelty in the beginning. Everyone wants to melt the so-called ice queen; Bentley says that’s the only reason he proposed. He liked knowing he was the one who tamed you, but he quickly realized his mistake, didn’t he?”

Georgia pokes Sloane’s emotional wounds and attempts to undermine her sense of self-worth by hinting that her relationship with Xavier will eventually fail. Georgia’s jab echoes Sloane’s fear of being unlovable and also highlights her complex relationship with emotional vulnerability. Georgia’s comments also betray an element of internalized misogyny, for she refers to Bentley’s former relationship with Sloane as an attempt to “tame” Sloane, as though she were an errant wild horse in need of firm correction.

“Part of me wanted to ask for a raincheck, but seeing him always made me feel better. I needed him after this shitshow of a day. Needed. I’d never needed anyone, and the idea that I needed him sent a little shiver down my spine—from fear or pleasure, I wasn’t sure.”

Sloane is surprised to realize the depths of her emotional connection to Xavier. Although she values her own self-reliance, she bases her self-worth on the degree to which others need her, and she therefore finds it unsettling to need someone else in turn. Her inner admission that he always “makes [her] feel better” indicates that she is growing closer to Xavier despite her many inhibitions. He has now become a safe source of comfort.

“At the same time, someone came around from the other side and bumped into me. A baseball cap shadowed half his face, but he looked vaguely familiar. Before I could investigate further, he disappeared around the corner, and my curiosity about his identity became an afterthought when I entered the vault to find Vuk and Willow waiting for me.”

This passage is brief and never referenced again, but the details indicate that Xavier does indeed have reason for suspicion in the events that occur just before the vault fire. Long before Alex Volkov discovers that the fire is a form of sabotage, Xavier’s encounter with the unknown intruder indicates that something is deeply amiss. Although the culprit is never revealed in this installment, this loose thread indicates that further information will be revealed in future installments of the series.

“Part of me wanted to give up, lie on the floor, and let the flames burn away the pain and worries and regrets. But if I did that—if I didn’t get us to the exit—we’d die. I’d never see Sloane again, and I’d be responsible for yet more death.”

Xavier’s inner turmoil is sharply evident in this passage as he faces a life-or-death situation, as he finds himself weighed down by guilt about both the fire in his past and the fire currently ravaging his club. His desire to surrender reflects his emotional exhaustion and the guilt that he carries. However, his sense of purpose in both love and career pushes him to persevere regardless of his past trauma.

“I felt like I was drowning. My fault. This was all my fucking fault again. I scavenged for a scrap of emotion—anger, sadness, shame—and found nothing but a terrible, all-encompassing numbness. Even my guilt was hollow, like the fire had sucked the essence out of it and scattered its ashes throughout my body. It no longer manifested as sharp knives piercing my conscience; it was just there, pervasive and intangible. Why had I thought I could do this? Opening a nightclub in six months was madness, and I should’ve never tried. I should’ve known rushing things would lead to disaster, but I’d been too blinded by pride and ego.”

This passage conveys the downward spiral of Xavier’s despair as he grapples with the aftermath of his decision to leave the faulty wires unrepaired. With the unexpected fire, his unresolved issues and family history become conflated with the problems of the present moment and leave him deeply off-balance. Caught up in increasingly irrational self-recriminations, he falls back on his default mode of giving up in order to avoid the risks that come with making bold decisions. His defense mechanism is to instinctively shut down his nightclub project.

“Trying to secure my fucking ‘future’ almost got people killed. This project was impossible from the start, and I can’t sit here and run business calculations when there are men lying hurt in a hospital because of me. Not all of us can go through life pretending they don’t feel, Sloane!”

During the emotional turmoil after the fire, Xavier unleashes a guilt-ridden tirade that reveals the full extent of his anguish. While he does not mean to hurt Sloane with his comment, the momentum of his self-recriminations leads him to oversimplify Sloane’s atypical expressions of emotion, and only the chapters told from Sloane’s perspective reveal how deeply his unthinking comment affects her. Because she has often been accused of being emotionless, particularly in her relationships with others, hearing a similar accusation from Xavier wounds Sloane immensely and causes her to feel extreme doubt about the future of their relationship.

“Every fear, every frustration, every heartbreak. They’d waited a lifetime to break free, and once they did, they didn’t stop until every last drop of moisture had evaporated and I sagged against Xavier, emptied and exhausted.”

While Sloane sheds her first tears over Xavier when she prematurely ends their relationship before their trial period is over, this scene reveals the extent to which she has been suppressing her emotions. As she rushes to the roof of the Empire State Building and believes that she has lost him forever, her emotional barriers finally come down. Thus, when she finds Xavier there waiting for her after all, her outpouring of emotion becomes a pivotal moment in her development, for she finally lets go of the control she has held over her emotions and gives in to her feelings for Xavier completely.

“I still checked my email compulsively whenever Xavier was in the shower or getting us drinks, but I no longer felt the need to control everything that came across my inbox. After all, I was on vacation.”

This passage shows that not all change is instantaneous. While Sloane goes on a month-long vacation to Spain, which is a huge step for her, she still checks her work email from time to time, illustrating her own imperfections and implying that her obsession with her job and with control is a work in progress.