Iveliz Explains It All

“And there’s no one I’d rather go to Costco with, 

fight over a bag of popcorn with, double over laughing at his pranks with 

than my funny 

life of the party 

prankster of a 

dad.”

Iveliz writes about her father in the present, making it seem like he’s still alive. She also showcases his gregarious characterization. The line breaks highlight his centrality, and this depiction demonstrates the opposite ways she views Dad and Mami at the beginning of the book. He has the last line all to himself because he’s Dad—her only father.

“Laughed and asked if that’s how Gen Z wrote poetry, 

all random thoughts and no rhyme.”

Dad’s description of Iveliz’s poetry reflects the narrative structure. Iveliz tells her story through her stream-of-conscience poems. Her concern is documenting her raw feelings, not rhyming or following a set of traditional poetry rules. The journal is her space for unfiltered, formless thoughts.

“Irfan Is Not Who I Wanted to Hear About, Journal.”

The poem’s title reveals how Iveliz thinks of her journal as a confidante. She sometimes makes the “j” uppercase, turning it into a proper noun and person. The title also relates to the theme of The Importance of Maintaining Balanced Relationships, as Iveliz doesn’t want to hear about Amir’s grandfather, she only wants Amir to listen to her struggles.

“I’m Daddy’s daughter 

with no Daddy in sight.”

The repetition of “Daddy” reinforces the importance of Iveliz’s father and the meaning he gives her life. The lines allude to his absence, but there’s many ways for fathers not to be present, so his status remains a mystery. This quote foreshadows the fact that he has died, as he is not “in sight.”

“Mimi looks suspiciously at me, 

and I roll my eyes. 

Son medicina, I say again. Para mi depresion 

y mi PTSD.”

The quatrain—four-line stanza—marks the first time that Iveliz identifies her mental health condition. Mimi’s reaction makes her an antagonist, but she’s not a permanent adversary. Iveliz’s conviction when speaking of her mental health conditions demonstrates that she is trying to accept herself as she is.

“Current Seventh-Grade Goals”

Iveliz’s journal contains many poems about her goals for the seventh grade. The reoccurring title demonstrates her priorities as she attempts to keep her goals in order. After meeting Akiko, Iveliz adds “Idk” after “Be more social,” indicating a subtle change.

“Basically, I’m OVER that. 

I take my pills ‘cause Mami makes me, 

not ‘cause I still need them. 

And Mami would know that 

if she ever bothered to ask.”

The all-caps “over” goes back to the journal format, and the premise is that Iveliz writes “over” in all capitals by hand with her pen. The upper-case “OVER” links back to her misleading point of view. She’s not “over” her mental health condition, and, as she told Mimi, she often feels like she needs her medication.

“Shouldn’t *I* Get to Decide? 

That’s what I ask Mami in the car. 

I mean it’s my body and my brain—

don’t kids have any rights?”

The title sometimes functions as the first line of the poem. Here, Iveliz tells her mom that she should decide if she wants to go to therapy with Dr. Turnip. The lines link to the theme of Misunderstandings Between Adults and Young People, with Iveliz suggesting that adults don’t give young people legitimate agency.

“Turning soil with a little rake 

under that partly cloudy Maryland sun? 

It makes me feel GOOD and planted 

and h-e-r-e.”

Gardening symbolizes a tangible reality, as it bonds Iveliz to the world of palpable objects. The imagery reinforces the concreteness, as the soil, rake, clouds, and sun all qualify as empirical and non-abstract.

“But you have to be somewhere l can find.

You understand? 

Somewhere I can find. 

I nod, because I know what he is saying 

and what he is not saying. 

He can’t find me if I’m not here.”

The dialogue between Amir and Iveliz has multiple meanings. Literally, if Mami sends Iveliz away, Amir can only find her if he knows where she is. Figuratively, Amir can’t be with Iveliz if she’s not present and communicating—if she’s elsewhere or someone else.

“Because asking Mom for help? 

No, Sir. 

Not gonna happen.”

Iveliz rejects Dr. Turnip’s suggestion that Mami could serve as a “good advocate” for her. The quote reflects Iveliz’s suspicion of adults, and it’s another example of Iveliz’s misleading beliefs. Mami becomes her chief supporter. Later, she breaks into the bathroom and takes her to the ER so she won’t hurt herself. She then takes off work and starts accompanying her to school counselor sessions. Mami becomes a clear ally. This quote highlights Misunderstandings Between Adults and Young People.

“Happiness.”

The poem “Happiness” isn’t a poem but a pie chart. Nevertheless, the poem showcases the journal format, with Iveliz creating the pie chart by hand. It reinforces Dad’s earlier point—“There’s more to poetry than words” (10)—and it reinforces her precarious sense of self. Thirty percent of Iveliz’s happiness depends on “forgetting” who she is.

“Iveliz, Mami says. No es tu culpa. Mimi esta enferma.”

Iveliz includes dialogue that undercuts her presentation of Mami. After Iveliz tells her mother about Mimi’s first “escape,” Mami reacts thoughtfully, telling Iveliz in Spanish that it’s not her fault. The dialogue provides proof that Mami doesn’t want to antagonize her daughter.

“It’s just sometimes I get so deep in my head 

it’s hard to find my way out. 

Sometimes it feels like I can’t feel 

and everything around me is just swirling about.”

The quatrain helps explain why Iveliz provides a misleading point of view. Her feelings bury her, and she can think clearly. The lines create a tempestuous image of her mental health condition—it’s as if she’s lost in a storm and can’t find her way back to the truth.

“[I]t’s my OWN messed-up brain 

that made it so I’m always, 

no matter what, 

alone.”

Iveliz uses hyperbolic diction to convey her stark emotional condition. Her PTSD and depression preclude moderation. There are no qualifiers or exemptions for her isolation. She “always” feels alone—”no matter what.” This quote highlights The Complexities of Mental Health Conditions.

“Ah, crazy girl is back, she types. 

Heard you punched someone. 

Anyone tell you, you have anger issues.”

The text exchange between Akiko and Iveliz demonstrates Akiko’s flippant tone about Iveliz’s mental health. She’s not trying to hurt Iveliz, but her caustic attitude minimizes the seriousness of Iveliz’s PTSD and depression and, after the makeover, it creates conflict.

“Feelings Notepad—Friday 

Mood: Sleepy 

Why: I am very tired but overall had a good day.”

Iveliz includes the “feelings notepad” in her journal to examine the difference between what she’s telling Dr. Turnip and what she’s truly feeling. She creates a juxtaposition, and, ultimately, her attempt to trick Dr. Turnip doesn’t work.

“I’m _ _ _ _ _ _ _ with myself […]

I’m _ _ _ _ _ _ _ at Akiko […] 

But mostly? I’m _ _ _ _ _ _ _ at Akiko.”

The blank spaces circle back to the journal premise, with Iveliz drawing tiny dashes in the place of words. The dashes reinforce Iveliz’s uncertainty about her emotions. She doesn’t know what words to use because she’s unsure of her feelings.

“Iveliz, 

you are not alone. 

I don’t know what you are going through,

and your mom doesn’t either, 

and I’m guessing neither do your friends.

But we are HERE. Let us help you. 

Let us listen.”

Dr. Turnip says the quote to Iveliz, but it reads like a letter or a text, beginning with the formal address, “Iveliz.” His quote undercuts Iveliz’s long-held beliefs about adults. Dr. Turnip demonstrates sympathy and kindness. He admits that the other people in her life do not know what she’s going through. To find out, he encourages her to use her voice. In other words, he acknowledges her agency.

“Iveliz, breathe, 

I hear in Turnip’s voice. 

Iveliz, not your fault, 

I hear in Dad’s.”

As Iveliz is in the bathroom thinking about hurting herself, two voices intervene. The voices are those of adults, providing further proof that not every adult is an antagonist. As Mami breaks into the bathroom, she also reveals her dedication to her daughter’s health. This quote highlights Misunderstandings Between Adults and Young People.

“We Talk 

We talk. 

We talk and we talk and 

we TALK.”

The repetition of “we talk” spotlights the importance of communication. The poem’s title is “We Talk,” and each line in the opening quatrain contains the phrase “we talk.” By speaking honestly to Dr. Turnip, and later, to the other people in her life, Iveliz gets to a healthier spot.

“I make a big deal out of 

taking my pills from their kitchen cupboard 

and gargling them noisily 

next to where Mimi 

stands washing the pots.”

Iveliz is being more open and honest, but she doesn’t lose her attitude. She can be sassy, and she showcases her cheek by taking her medicine right next to Mimi. The theatrical gesture proves that she doesn’t care what Mimi thinks—though Mimi apologizes anyway.

“It wasn’t okay when those kids made fun of your lunch. 

Of where you’re from. 

And it’s not okay to make fun of someone for their mental health.”

Iveliz juxtaposes bullying to make a point. It’s not acceptable to tease a person because of their ethnicity or culture, and it’s not permissible to constantly joke with a person about their mental health. They’re both serious parts of a person’s identity, so people should respect them.