I Know Why The Caged Bird Sings

After reading about lesbianism in the book A Well of Loneliness, Maya concludes that “‘lesbian’ was synonymous with hermaphrodite” (273), and thus lesbians must have “two of everything” (274). She begins to reflect on the peculiarities of her own changing body and suspects that she is becoming a lesbian. Comparing herself to other girls, Maya notices that her body is not as feminine, and her voice is low. Maya goes to her mother to talk about these concerns, and Vivian assures her that she is not “developing into a lesbian” (275).

Maya’s doubts return when she catches a glimpse of her friend’s body when she is undressing. Maya finds herself in awe of the girl’s developed breasts and decides that this a sign she is a lesbian. Maya resolves that having a boyfriend would “clarify [her] position to the world” (280), but since she doesn’t have one, the girl decides that just having sex with a boy should rectify everything. Maya chooses a good-looking boy about her age who lives nearby, walks up to him, and asks if he would like to have sex with her. Although the boy is surprised, he agrees, but their sexual encounter is brief and not nearly as passionate as Maya had imagined it would be. The girl forgets about it very quickly, but three weeks later, she learns that she is pregnant.

Upon finding out about her pregnancy, Maya is extremely distressed and worried, and the only consolation is that she now knows for a fact she is not a lesbian. Maya doesn’t blame the boy and takes full responsibility for the pregnancy. She writes a letter to Bailey, who is at sea with the merchant marine, and reveals her secret. He advises her not to tell their mother, who strongly opposes abortion, because she will make Maya quit school. If that happens, it will be almost impossible for her to come back and earn a high school diploma. Maya follows his suggestion, and without telling anyone else about the pregnancy, focuses on her schoolwork.

When Maya is six months pregnant, Vivian goes to Alaska, where she plans to open a nightclub, so she doesn’t notice any changes in her daughter’s body. Right after Maya graduates from high school, she tells her mother and Daddy Clidell about the pregnancy, and both react with wholehearted support. About three weeks later, Maya gives birth to a baby boy, and Vivian helps her take care of him. At first, Maya is terrified that she might unintentionally hurt him, but with time she learns what to do and adores her son’s “mysterious perfection” (288).