Home Is Not a Country

Throughout the narrative, water represents clarity and calm. When Nima is in the bathtub, she experiences moments of clear-headedness. After arguing with Haitham, she reflects on her own actions while in the water: “in the bathtub i replay it all behind my eyes / embarrassed by my overreaction” (56). In retrospect, Nima recognizes that her emotion-fueled response to Haitham caused their conversation to morph into a fight. It is also in the bathtub when she begins to see herself shimmer like a ghost. These are moments when Nima views herself as less than whole. Water, however, is not just symbolic in the bathtub, but also in the stranger’s swimming pool. When she is above the surface “the world [is] so loud / & violent in its color after the dark silence of the water” (94). The volume equates to the whirlwind of challenges she faces. However, beneath the pool’s surface, her thoughts and the world are quiet, meaning she can find peace. Later, when she tumbles into the river with Yasmeen, the water provides clarity on her relationship to the other girl: “under the water / [...] i am almost calm    the thoughts / unspooling slowly before me    i understand her plan” (155). Even though she can only stay underwater for a brief time, her thoughts slowly unfold, suggesting that time decelerates, not literally, but figuratively, representing the calmness she experiences. It is only when Nima is underwater that she can fully understand what is happening with Yasmeen, that they are not friends but foes. The understanding associated with water is reinforced one more time when Nima returns through the portal into the bathtub. Soaking wet, she hugs her mother and understands that the woman is Nima’s true home.