Heartstopper: Volume One

The central theme of Heartstopper is the challenges of coming out and how someone with an attraction to people of the same sex comes to develop self-acceptance in a world of judgment and beratement. Charlie came out as gay to a couple of his friends 10 months prior to meeting Nick. Afterward, he experienced severe bullying for several months before some older children stopped it. Nick is not out as gay and is only just having feelings for a boy for the very first time. He is confused, unsure of himself, and he feels lost about what to do or how to proceed with his relationship with Charlie. Their shared attraction to one another, along with their different stages of self-acceptance, set the stage for how their bond unfolds.

When Charlie came out as gay, he did not really intend to. He told his friends, and word spread after that. Gossip led to bullying and name calling, which made Charlie feel alone and ashamed. Eventually, the bullying was put to an end by some older children, but Charlie continues to suffer the trauma of his experiences. It left him insecure about who he is, and he does not believe he is worth being complimented. Charlie ends up becoming involved with a boy named Ben, who is not only not out but also projects his own insecurities about coming out onto Charlie. Charlie sees this in Ben and calls him out on it: “Why would I be scared? Everyone in the school already knows I’m gay! You’re the one who’s scared of getting caught!” (76). When Charlie meets Nick, who is open, accepting of Charlie, and kind, Charlie finds that he begins to accept himself as well. Nick does not see Charlie as “the gay kid,” he sees Charlie as Charlie—someone who is “good at video games, sports, math, essays, making friends, playing the drums” (144). Slowly, Charlie starts to see these things in himself, but he defaults to humbleness. Nick also helps Charlie separate himself from Ben once and for all and supports him every step of the way.

Ben demonstrates the failure of self-acceptance in his refusal to come out publicly. He maintains a relationship with a girl while covertly meeting up with Charlie to make out in secret places. Ben’s shame and deception about his attraction to Charlie represent the dangers of not accepting your true self and projecting a false image to the world. Ben becomes aggressive and abusive in his desperate attempts to keep Charlie’s attention.

Nick struggles with his own sexuality when he starts to develop feelings for Charlie. After the day Ben assaulted Charlie, Nick finds himself daydreaming about Charlie’s smile and worrying about his welfare at night. Nick sends heart emojis, starts being physically affectionate with Charlie, and spends more and more time with him. Charlie, who once thought Nick was straight, begins to doubt his original assumptions. However, Nick has never felt this way about a boy before and struggles to understand what he is going through. He googles things like, “how to tell if you’re gay” (192), but the internet is no help. His peers make things even worse by teasing him for hanging out with Charlie. Volume One ends with a climax in which Nick and Charlie kiss, but Nick is still unsure, and ends up leaving Charlie alone afterward. While Charlie has long since accepted himself for being gay, Nick still has a long journey ahead of him.