Hate List

Fiction | Novel | YA | Published in 2009

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Part 3, Chapters 30-31Chapter Summaries & Analyses

Part 3

Part 3, Chapter 30 Summary

During a session with Dr. Hieler, he and Valerie discuss the implications of her father leaving. Valerie, conditioned by years of fighting and her father’s ambivalence, shrugs off the significance of the event. She focuses more on the aspects of her life she can control, like her drawings.

Part 3, Chapter 31 Summary

The night of the party, the girls hang out at Jessica Campbell’s house. After the girls get ready for the party, they arrive at Alex’s barn, where Jessica and Meghan head off in their own directions, leaving Valerie by herself. Josh, a popular boy at Garvin, soon offers her a drink and a dance, which Valerie initially refuses, but then accepts. Protesting because of her gunshot injury, Valerie looks down to see “my leg looked like anyone else’s leg. And, come to think of it, it didn’t throb at the moment, either” (311). The beers and euphoria of dancing again trigger a vivid fantasy of Nick, Valerie dancing close with him as he called her the most beautiful girl in the room. Looking around, coming back to reality, Valerie thinks, “And it was cool, this party. Nothing like Nick and I had guessed these parties would be” (312).

Feeling a little lightheaded, Valerie leaves for some air with Josh, but encounters Troy, Meghan’s troubled older brother, who accuses Josh of hanging out with a girl that gets excited over death. Josh abandons her, saying he was only babysitting her for Alex’s sake. His words hurt Valerie; she thinks, “Here I was again, thinking Josh was actually into me, too stupid to see what was real” (313). Alone with just Troy and his friends, Troy pulls out a gun and waves it at Valerie, taunting her with the same nickname, Sister Death, the bullies use against her at school. Troy says she should stay away from his sister, Meghan. Valerie runs away and calls her father.

Part 3, Chapters 30-31 Analysis

During a therapy session, Valerie tells Dr. Hieler: “I’ve been drawing things as I really see them. Not like what everybody wants you to see, but what’s really there. It’s been helpful” (305). These drawings replace the hate list for Valerie, reemphasizing the need Valerie has for a creative outlet.

At Jessica’s house, Jessica’s mother makes handmade soft pretzels for a snack. Valerie takes in Jessica’s home, from the religious inspiration platter, to the homemade pizzas, to her mother’s perfect rows of white teeth, thinking, “Jessica Campbell’s house smelled like vanilla” (306). At the party, Valerie drinks beer and dances with a popular boy, Josh. As she dances, she thinks about Nick and her own loneliness: “And suddenly a longing opened up in me so big it hurt (311). When she and Josh sit and talk, and Troy accuses Josh of liking Valerie, Josh’s quick rejection stuns her; she builds a wall around herself, sending him away, making herself vulnerable to Troy’s bullying.