Give and Take: A Revolutionary Approach to Success

Within a network, dormant ties are relationships or connections that have become inactive over time. They are contacts that were once strong but have since faded or been neglected. Grant notes that dormant ties are a hidden source of value within networks. By reactivating dormant ties, individuals can gain the novelty they would otherwise glean from weak ties, but with the strength and trust that they would experience from strong ties. Adam Rifkin, a master networker, focuses primarily on rekindling relationships with dormant ties.

Borrowed from game theory, the term “generous tit for tat” describes Grant’s recommended approach for givers interacting with takers. According to this approach, givers should start out by giving, switch to matching if the other person reveals themselves to be a taker, and return to giving during one out of three interactions. This approach helps givers protect themselves and avoid being taken advantage of by takers.

Grant contrasts the term “genius” with “genius maker.” While a genius may be someone who possesses exceptional intelligence or talent, a genius maker is someone who cultivates the potential and talents of others. This term is connected thematically to Generosity as a Multiplier.

Within the context of Give and Take, a giver is an individual who has a predisposition to be generous and helpful toward others without expecting anything in return. They contribute to others without expecting quid pro quo and engage in acts of kindness, offering knowledge, making valuable introductions, and providing support to others. They enjoy making a positive impact on others and prioritize the interests and well-being of those around them. Grant subdivides this group into selfless givers and otherish givers.

“Idiosyncrasy credits” is a psychological term that describes the tolerance or acceptance that individuals earn that allows them to deviate from social norms or expectations. This concept suggests that individuals who have accumulated a history of conforming to expectations or earning goodwill with the group are granted more leeway to express their individuality without facing negative consequences or social sanctions. Grant purports that givers accumulate idiosyncrasy credits through giving to others, which affords them more leeway to take risks and occasionally suggest off-the-wall ideas without facing judgment or backlash.

“Lekking” is a term that normally describes animal mating behavior and courtship rituals. Grant uses it in Give and Take to describe the clues that takers give off, even when they are trying to appear generous or helpful. These clues, or lekking behaviors, include inconsistency in their giving behavior, focusing primarily on their own self-interests, and exhibiting a lack of concern for the needs and well-being of others. This can be shown through signs like the overuse of possessive pronouns like “I” or “me” instead of “we” or “us.”

Within the book, Grant uses the term “matcher” to describe a reciprocity style characterized by an equal give-and-take approach. Matchers value fairness and strive to maintain a balance between giving and receiving in their interactions with others. They operate transactionally, seeking to ensure that the favors they give are reciprocated in some way.

Grant distinguishes between two types of givers: selfless givers and otherish givers. Otherish givers are less likely to burn out over time. They have both high self-interest and high other-interest. They are able to find a balance between their own needs and the needs of others, recognizing that taking care of themselves is necessary in order to continue giving and helping others effectively.

“Perspective gap” is a term to describe the psychological phenomenon that makes it difficult to imagine an intense state when one is not directly experiencing it. According to Grant, takers have difficulty imagining the perspectives of others.

The “pratfall effect” refers to the phenomenon where individuals who make a mistake or show vulnerability are perceived as more likable and competent. This effect challenges the notion that appearing flawless is the most effective way to gain respect and admiration. Grant notes that this effect only works if the individual making a mistake is already perceived as competent.

In Give and Take, Grant explores reciprocity styles, or the different approaches that individuals have in their give-and-take interactions with others. These styles include giving, matching, and taking.

When assessing contributions within a group, responsibility bias can lead to people attributing less credit to others and more credit to themselves. Since an individual inherently has more information about their own contributions than about the contributions of others, they are more likely to be biased toward attributing the majority of responsibility to themselves.

In contrast to otherish givers, selfless givers give without regard for their own well-being. They are more likely to burn out as a result of this. Selfless givers may give out of obligation or duty rather than enjoyment. They have high other-interest and low self-interest.

Within a network, strong ties are close relationships characterized by frequent interaction, emotional closeness, and a high level of trust. While strong ties are important, they actually provide less novel information than weak ties. As a result, weak ties can be more beneficial for generating new ideas, accessing diverse resources, and finding opportunities.

In the context of Give and Take, takers are individuals who are primarily focused on getting more than what they give in their interactions with others. They tend to prioritize their own interests and may exploit or take advantage of others.