Get a Life, Chloe Brown

Red wakes up in the morning to see Chloe already out of bed and showered. Chloe says she wants to make Red breakfast to thank him for making dinner the night before. They spend the morning together and Red reflects that starting the day with Chloe feels like starting the day in front of a canvas: full of possibility. As they move through the kitchen cleaning up, they bump into each other and end up in an embrace. Red asks Chloe: “Do you know what I want yet, Chlo?” (258), to which Chloe responds that she does, and that she thinks she is scared. She tells Red that her Get a Life list is not the first challenge she has had to set for herself in her life, and that the first few years of her illness were a hurdle she had to overcome. Despite her challenges, she says that she always overcomes them, and that she wants to try having a relationship with him if he wants the same thing. Red agrees and they kiss for the first time.

As their kissing increases in intensity, Red realizes that he does not want to push Chloe too far too soon and he asks her to slow down. Embarrassed, Chloe lets go of Red altogether, but he pulls her back in and reassures her “This is your spot now. Okay?” (262). Both aroused, they agree to go to the bedroom and become more emotionally intimate as well as physically: Chloe sees Red’s tattoos for the first time up close and he learns that the buttons on her cardigans are fake to accommodate her illness. Chloe suggests they have sex, but Red tells her that he does not have a condom and that he is not rushing their physical relationship. Chloe orgasms until “she was nothing but a limp, worn-out mess of a woman with hot tears spilling over her cheeks” (271). Red kisses her hand and tells her that he knew she would cry because she feels things so intensely.

On Thursday night Red goes to Chloe’s apartment to make her dinner and stays the night. Red is gone in the morning when Chloe wakes but leaves a note saying that he will see her tomorrow for their camping trip, and to call him if she needs anything. Chloe is surprised to find that she is looking forward to camping, normally something she detests, because she trusts Red will make the experience enjoyable. She thinks about her list, and that it “should be more than a box-ticking exercise. Maybe it should mean more. Maybe changing it wasn’t the end of the world” (273). She pulls out her original list and crosses out “2. Enjoy a drunken night out” and adds instead “Call Annie. Be nice. Make friends” (273). At the bottom of her list, she then adds one more entirely new item: “Keep Red” (274).

A few hours later, Chloe meets Annie at a coffee shop. She texts Red to tell him where she is, as befriending Annie was his suggestion. Annie arrives late, having had a “marmite disaster” (276), and offers to pay for Chloe’s tea. Annie asks Chloe whether she is still mad at her about Perdita and explains that she must look after 11 cats in exchange for living rent-free at her mother’s house while her mother travels the world with her third husband. Chloe and Annie bond over the fact that they are both in their 30s without a “single husband, divorced, deceased, or otherwise disposed of” (278). Chloe asks Annie what she does for work, and Annie explains that she designs lingerie. Annie tells Chloe that her bra does not fit correctly, and then suggests that she will help Chloe shop for one that fits better.

Red arrives at Chloe’s on Saturday to leave for their camping trip. Sensing her apprehension, Red reminds Chloe that they do not have to go camping but that he will do what he can to make the experience enjoyable for her. Once at the campsite, Chloe notices the wide spacing of the sites, but that Red chose one that is close to the car to accommodate Chloe. Red sets up the tent and goes inside to arrange a surprise for Chloe. When he returns, he makes a fire and he and Chloe laugh about not understanding how to properly make s’mores. As they sit at the fire, Chloe asks Red how he knows so much about camping. Red becomes pensive and says that his grandfather used to take him camping once or twice a year as a child. Red begins to say something and then stops himself. Sensing his vulnerability, Chloe asks him if Red is wondering whether his grandfather would be disappointed in him because of what happened in London. Red tries to change the subject and Chloe tells him “You don’t always have to be okay” (292). They share a tender moment and then Red, mischievously, tells Chloe they are going to play a game.

Red begins a game of 21 Questions so they can get to know each other better. Chloe asks Red whether he likes his website so far, and Red thinks about how perfect the website is and his gratitude to her for making it. Chloe then asks another question: “I wanted to know what happened to you in London. What happened to your career” (299). Red pauses and then decides that he will tell her because he loves her, which he realizes for the first time.

Red tells Chloe that he thought he was supposed to go to London “trying to break into a world that wasn’t exactly welcoming” (300) and one night outside of a party he met Pippa. He explains that they began dating and suddenly people, including her art dealer father, took notice of him, and his career took off. Despite Red’s career successes, he tells Chloe that Pippa became abusive and that he was only able to leave her after his mother told him she was not treating him well.

Red reveals a scar on his hand from when he broke up with Pippa and she stabbed him with a fork. Chloe is horrified at seeing this and Red explains that after he left her, Pippa told him that he only enjoyed success in the art world because of her, which left him with “years of imposter syndrome and paranoia and constant, toxic whispers whipping away at him” (304). Chloe tells Red not to dismiss his emotions and that he can still fix things and take part in the art world again. She also tells him that “no one can change the fact that you’re talented. You are skilled. You’re good” (306). At this, Red kisses Chloe, feeling “bone-deep contentment” (307) for the first time in a long time.