Get a Life, Chloe Brown

Red and Chloe enter the gallery and people begin to recognize Red. He points out one of the artists’ paintings on the wall and says that he used to know the artist when he lived in London. Red suggests that they can leave and go somewhere else, but Chloe says she is fine and asks Red when he knew he wanted to be a painter.

Red tells Chloe about a school trip he went on as a child that his family could hardly afford. His grandfather managed to find the money to send Red on the trip and Red shows Chloe the silver rings he wears that belonged to his grandfather. Red says that on that trip to the National Gallery he realized that art could be a job and the experience “changed everything for me” (193). Upon learning this, Chloe feels a new kind of draw to him because of the “ordinary things about him that were starting to feel like oxygen” (193). Chloe asks Red what he wants to do but has not yet that would have a similar effect to his childhood trip and Red says he plans to go to the Museum of Modern Art in New York City one day.

A man hovering near them casts disapproving glances their way. Other people in the gallery had been looking at them as well, Chloe notices, and Red tries to explain the behavior as typical of the art world. When Red tries to tease Chloe for being “oblivious” (195) about the way people in the gallery view them Chloe corrects him by saying “I’m not completely oblivious. I am Black, you know” (195). This prompts a brief conversation between them in which Chloe suggests that the people in the gallery are looking at them, in part, because she is Black, but that because she has multiple marginalized identities she has to “filter” (195) or else she “might drown if [I] let all the little hurts flood in” (195). Red apologizes for his assumption and admits that he has baggage when it comes to class. He apologizes for having blamed Chloe for his class anxieties in the past. Chloe is surprised that he would apologize for something relatively minor, and grateful that he would take her feelings seriously enough to apologize.

The man from before returns with the owner of the gallery, Julian Bishop, who at once recognizes Red and breaks into good-natured banter. As Chloe sees Red and Julian’s interaction, she notes that “for once, he seemed to be performing” (198), which prompts her to wonder what event the catalyst for his disappearance from the art world was 18 months prior. Red introduces Chloe to Julian, who kisses Chloe’s hand, and quickly ushers them out of the gallery.

Outside the gallery, Red asks Chloe if she wants to sit for a moment before walking back to the apartment complex. Chloe asks Red if she is sure he does not mind, which angers him towards “whoever had made her feel like sitting in the street with a friend was some big sacrifice rather than just another thing people did” (202). Red decides that Chloe needs a decent friend and wants to be that friend to her because she does that for him.

Sitting on some steps, Chloe and Red discuss the future of his art career and the fact that he wants to be an independent artist. Chloe affirms that it is okay that Red wants different things from his career now than he did in the past, and accidentally admits to watching him paint at night. She explains that “do something bad” was an item on her list, watching him paint helped her cross off that item, and that watching him “felt like coming to life” (206). Red expects to feel angry about learning this information, but instead finds her explanation sweet. He teases her about watching him, at least in part, because he paints half-naked, and Chloe admits she finds him attractive. Red cups her face in his hand and promises her that they are friends, and he is not going to make things complicated. He also asks if she wants him to make her moan again, to which she responds “Please” (208).

Chloe thinks Red is about to kiss her but instead he gently bites her lip and strokes her cheek with his thumb. Things begin to progress until Red stops and asks Chloe why she stopped him the other day in her apartment. She worries about revealing too much of her feelings for him and is scared because Red makes her feel “weak in a way that felt so good but also left her open to so much hurt” (210). Instead of admitting her feelings, Chloe reminds Red that he promised not to complicate things. Red smiles and wraps his arms around Chloe to shield her from the cold and suggests they play a game of “I want” (211). They each express an intense sexual desire for one another and Red asks Chloe to touch herself.

As she obliges, Red holds her thigh with his hand and Chloe asks him to touch her. This nearly brings Chloe to climax as her chronic pain causes her to feel more than other people due to her rewired neural pathways. Red makes Chloe orgasm and asks her not to offer to reciprocate because he is trying to avoid having sex with her in such a public space. Red takes Chloe’s hand and leads her towards the nearest taxi stop, stopping to ask her if she is okay when he notices her lagging behind. He sees her become visibly upset and asks her what is wrong using his new nickname for her, Button.

Chloe wonders why Red has not kissed her, and nearly tells him that they should forget about tonight because it was “better left alone than left behind” (218). Before she can, however, they run into her Aunt Mary on the street. Aunt Mary, out for the evening with a group of friends, at once homes in on Red’s presence and asks Chloe who he is. Anxious about what to say and how to define her relationship to Red, Chloe blurts out, “He’s no one” (219). She quickly ushers Red away from her aunt and sees that Red is visibly upset. Chloe knows that she messed up in referring to Red as “no one” and tries to fix things between them by telling Red he’s her “bad boy tutor” (222), which only further upsets him. Before Chloe can say anything else, Red walks away to get them a taxi. They are silent on the ride home and neither say a word as Red drops her off at home.

On Monday morning, Red sits on the floor of his studio ruminating on his lingering anger towards Chloe. He thinks about the card in his wallet for a Dr. Maddox, a therapist his mother recommended to him six months before. He stares at the canvas he ripped while vigorously working on it the night before and thinks that maybe it is time to go to therapy.

He thinks about what to do about Chloe and how he is supposed to see her later that week to go over the progress on his website. His reaction to Chloe’s dismissal of him in front of her aunt brings back feelings related to Pippa, and he tries to remind himself that Chloe and Pippa’s treatment of him are not the same. He also thinks about whether he should quit his job as building superintendent, which was supposed to be temporary but is going on two years. He decides that he is ready to begin showing his art and working as an artist again. Red calls Dr. Maddox’s office and makes an appointment.

Chloe decides to stop thinking about Red. After he only responded, “It’s fine” (228) to her apology text two days before, she decides that she should give him space. Apart from Red, Chloe is sad as she gets ready to return Smudge to his owner, Annie. Annie is bright and chipper when she meets Chloe and thanks her for finding “Perdita” (Smudge), who turns out to be a female cat. Annie gives Chloe her business card which reads “Annie Amande, Knicker Whisperer” (231) and invites Chloe to get a coffee sometime and leaves. Chloe realizes she is crying, feeling “More than sad. Devastated. As if someone had ripped a hole in her chest” (232).

Chloe is surprised when Red knocks on her door the next day. Before Chloe can speak, Red tells her that he is still angry at her but that “I don’t think you meant to—to say what you said” (233) and that he will be angry with her until he is ready to stop. He then notes that she looks sick and needs to lie down. He picks her up and carries her to the living room. Chloe whispers that she is sorry as Red puts her down on the couch and explains that their interaction the other night complicated things for her emotionally. Red admits that it complicated things for him as well, and that it is surprising to him that she does not know what he wants from her. When he suggests that he could show her what he wants from her, Chloe assumes that he means sex and realizes she does not feel up to it.

In her mind, she thinks about times in the past with her ex-fiancée when she expressed how she was not feeling up to sex and he dismissed her feelings. Chloe decides she cannot go through with that again and tells Red that although she wants him, she is not feeling up to it tonight. Chloe feels immense relief when Red says that he wants to stay for the evening “just to hang out” (237). Chloe, pleased that Red is speaking to her again but still worried about getting too close to him, asks if he forgives her. He reaches for her and taps one of the buttons on her pajamas, telling her that he does forgive her.