First Lie Wins

“You live in a home where every single piece of furniture holds meaning for you. A memory. You grew up around these things so they’re a part of you. It wasn’t the same with my stuff.”

Evie opens up to Ryan about her lack of material possessions; she uses something close to the truth in order to hide the lie about why she isn’t bringing her own possessions into his place. This quote also starts to touch on one of the novel’s underlying themes—the inability of wealth to understand the mindsets and motivations of those who aren’t wealthy.

“Their eyes glance between the deep slit up the side of my bright-blue maxi skirt, to the paper-thin white tee that does little to hide my baby-blue bra, to the stack and stack of bracelets that jingle when I walk. It took me a while to decide what to give them.”

This quote points to the ways in which Evie understands identity to be constructed. Evie knows how to play with stereotype and expectation in order to craft and identity that will be received how she wants to be received. This includes using her sexuality as means of control.

“There’s an old saying: The first lie wins. It’s not referring to the little white kind that tumble out with no thought; it refers to the big one. The one that changes the game. The one that is deliberate.”

This quote that lends the novel its title speaks to Evie’s craft as a con artist. Through trial and error, she has learned how to most carefully and effectively lie her way into other people’s lives; the sense of assurance with which she delivers this statement speaks to how confident she is in this craft.

“It’s moments like this I wish things were different. That this was real life and that my biggest concern was the petty drama between me and his childhood friends.”

Here, Evie begins to articulate the yearning that characterizes much of her relationship to the Sumner job. She years for the “reality” of mundanity, but knows that her work with Smith will always keep her from this.

“She had pressed me for information, not punched me in the face, but in small towns among small groups of friends, there is little difference between those two things.”

Here, Ryan is angry at his friends for treating Evie badly, though Evie doesn’t share his feelings. Evie’s inability to share Ryan’s anger points to how Evie feels that she understands the lives and motivations of suburban people, but ultimately feels she’s an outsider from their world.

“It was in that moment I learned that you can become someone else with the right hair, the right dress, the right accessories.”

Here, Evie reflects on growing up with her seamstress mother. Her mother primed her for seeing identity as artifice by showing Evie that other people understand identity from superficial markers.

“I need the moments that include James and his date to be buried in the blur of the day and not become the chunk of time that separates itself and becomes its own memory.”

Here, Evie reflects on how she doesn’t want Ryan to remember the interaction with James and the Lucca-imposter. This quote speaks to how Evie is practiced in not only manipulating other people’s perceptions through her physical appearance, but also through the ways in which she interacts with them. In the scene that follows this quote, she uses her sexuality as a way of distracting Ryan from his own memory.

“It wasn’t long after I took that first job at the flower shop that I realized my twangy accent created a greater divide between me and the women who came into the store than our bank accounts ever would.”

Here, Evie reflects on the identity markers that create class distinctions. She understands that she can use wealthy people’s stereotypes about poverty in order to mark herself as being of a particular class. This once again reflects Evie’s nuanced understanding of the construction of identity.

“He’s through around names and plans and dates at such a rapid rate that I hoped Seth has forgotten about the wire cutters and picked up a pen and paper instead.”

Here, Evie spies on Ryan as he threatens a disloyal employee with bodily harm. This quote is surprising because of the humor that Evie’s narration brings to this moment. The humor might be read as a defense mechanism, as Evie tries to make sense of this new side of Ryan. The humor could also speak, to how seeing this level of violence isn’t really surprising for Evie—her attitude here is almost blasé.

“He shrugs, then nods, letting me know it’s my decision because in his mind, it’s my house too. We are the epitome of a domestic couple.”

This quote speaks to the divide between Evie and Ryan in how they view their relationship. Ryan is quick to allow Evie into his life, and to allow Evie “ownership” of some of the material possessions in his life. Evie’s comment is ironic because she knows their relationship is a façade.

“Mama taught me how a few strokes of powder can change the shape and look of your entire face—although I know she would only have wanted me to use those tricks to enhance my face, not to make it unrecognizable.” 

This is one of the few instances in the novel where Evie reflects on what her mother would think of her criminality. Early in her life, Evie uses her mother as motivation for pursuing a life as a con artist, but here it becomes clear that she’s conflicted about this motive and about having hidden this part of herself from her mother.

“Mama used to say I would recognize the life I was mean to have. I look around this house and think about what it would feel like if this identity were real and I was Izzy Williams, college student and nanny to Miles Kingston.

One thing is for sure, this is definitely not the life for me.”

This quote speaks to how, at this early stage of Evie’s employment by Mr. Smith, her ambitions have begun to shift. Evie has always aimed for a life of suburban quiet, but now she’s beginning to refine what that means. She still longs for suburbia, but for a suburban life that she’s fully in control of.

“You do whatever you have to do to save yourself and the job. Because never forget this is a job. You are not part of that family. That is not your life. Not your world. You’re a ghost who drifted through it for a little bit of time.”

Here, Matt criticizes Evie for her failures on the Kingston job. Matt first plants the idea in Evie’s mind that she is a “ghost” in the lives of others; this is part of what motivates Evie to start using the origami swans.

“It’s hard to say her name out loud. My name. It felt as bitter on my tongue as I thought it would.”

Here, Evie struggles to speak her birth name aloud. The “bitterness” that she feels in speaking it reflects her thorny relationship to her previous identity. It’s painful for her for this identity—long kept secret and sacred—to suddenly be exposed. Evie is beginning to understand that she no longer has control over the Lucca Marino identity, the identity that she thinks of as her “real” one.

“These are probably mostly neighbors and members of their church. It will be twice this at the funeral home visitation. A lot of these women keep a casserole in the freezer just for this occasion.”

This is Ryan’s response to Evie’s confusion over how so many neighbors can be so quickly prepared for James’s unexpected death. Ryan’s response speaks to an aspect of the suburban life that Evie doesn’t fully understand: how the women in these communities live their lives in anticipation of what will happen to their neighbors—including anticipating deaths.

“You sat here like you had all the time in the world when I knew that wasn’t the case. And that tells me everything I need to know.”

Here, Devon explains why he decided that it would be safe to work with Evie. This quote shows that Devon, like Evie, is a patient observer of other people’s behaviors and that he knows himself well enough to understand what qualities make an effective co-conspirator.

“Devon’s head turns just slightly in my direction. ‘That’s not your home, L.’”

Here, Devon also reinforces the idea that Evie doesn’t “belong” to the worlds she infiltrates, and that Ryan doesn’t represent the fulfillment of Evie’s suburban fantasy. It’s also notable that Devon only ever refers to Evie/Lucca as “L.” This speaks to the fact that Devon understands that the Lucca Marino identity is sacred to Evie—even speaking the name aloud might endanger her, and so he never risks it.

“Those pictures are just a preview of the main show. You can still run, but you’re not a ghost anymore.”

Here, Mr. Smith threatens Evie with photos placing her at the scene of Amy Holder’s death. His reference to Evie no longer being a “ghost” speaks to the dual nature of his threat: He’s not only pinning Evie to a crime she didn’t commit, but he’s also threatening to undo the web of aliases that have protected her all this time. Her careful construction of artificial identities could be ruined entirely.

“He knew I’d be there. He knew I’d save him. So why bother getting your shit together if there’s always someone saving you?”

Here, Ryan reflects on his unhealthy relationship with James. His observation that James never needed to change because he always knew Ryan would be there to “save” him reflects on the complicated relationship dynamics between Ryan and Evie, both of whom are trying to “save” the other. Evie wants to save Ryan from destruction at Smith’s hands, and Ryan wants to “save” Evie from entrapment in the life she’s chosen; this quote raises questions about whether or not it’s ever possible to save another person at all.

“But it’s Ryan making the decisions. George deferring to him. George delivering papers to him.

This job was a test. Testing my loyalty.”

Here, Evie overhears a conversation between Ryan and George and wonders if Ryan has been Mr. Smith this whole time. Elston’s use of syntax is notable here. Evie’s thoughts become fractured, her sentences choppy, her diction repetitive. These syntactic choices speak to the emotional fracturing she’s feeling in this moment, and her attempt to piece together her new understanding of Ryan.

“The makeup is light, the jewelry is non-existent, and she rocks a perpetual resting-bitch face.” 

Evie’s description of Amy Holder is notable for its diction. Evie’s voice throughout the novel is direct, observant, and unafraid of offending. The natural language reflects Amy’s natural appearance.

“And then I wonder if this is a true representation of them. Or are they like me? Hiding behind a mask.”

This reflection from Evie about the two detectives interviewing her is prompted by the observation that the male detective is wearing incongruously cheerful socks. This quote speaks to Evie’s inability—even at this stage of the narrative—to believe that anyone would show their true, genuine selves to the world.

“‘When you get over thinking you’re done with this life, let me know.’

‘I am done,’ I say, although it lacks conviction.”

After the Smith job is ended, Evie believes that she’s done with her life of criminality. Neither Amy nor Devon believe here, though. Amy’s assessment that her reply “lacks conviction” also points to the idea that she thinks that leaving the criminal world might be the right thing to by the standards of the suburban life she’s always dreamed, but she doesn’t know if this is the life she really wants to pursue.