Fever Dream

Amanda suddenly becomes aware of herself in the clinic. She tells David she can see him on the bed and asks how long she’s been there. David replies that it has been two days, and Amanda wants to know where Nina is. She gets confused and thinks she is back in the grass with her daughter, watching the men unload the truck. David tells Amanda to focus; he wants to show her something. 

Amanda floats in and out of her memories as she walks down the hall with David, growing increasingly confused. David takes her to a room filled with what appear to be children’s drawings. It is a classroom, he says, although he thinks of it more as a “waiting room.” The names on the drawings are all written in the same handwriting, and David explains that the nurse does all the writing. Some of the artists cannot write, and others “have such thin skin that if they squeeze the markers too much their fingers end up bleeding” (122). Not all of them are children. He tells Amanda they have already gone over her story four times; they are running out of time, and he needs her to understand what happened. Amanda knows that she will die, and she returns to her memory of the afternoon with Carla and Nina. 

Nina comes over, complaining that her hands are stinging. Amanda kisses her daughter’s palms, and Carla gives the girl a handful of cookies. She trots off, happy again, and Carla resumes her story. She is telling Amanda about the day the rest of her husband’s horses went missing. David would sometimes disappear from his bed at night, and Omar, who had also become uncomfortable around his son, started locking the boy’s door after he went to sleep. One night, Omar woke Carla, telling her that David’s door was open and his horses were missing. The only animal left was a four-month-old foal, standing stock-still in the field as if frozen with fear. 

Carla ends her story by telling Amanda she looks pale and asking her if she feels okay. The two women watch Nina play by the well, and Carla confesses that she always wanted a daughter and sometimes dreams of leaving her family and starting over on her own. As Amanda listens, her body feels “numb,” and she finds she cannot respond to the other woman. Instead, she thinks about leaving the town behind and asking Carla to come with her. Amanda finds herself lying in the field without knowing how she got there. Carla fusses over her, asking what’s wrong and how she can help, but Amanda cannot answer. Nina starts to come over, but Carla distracts the girl, giving Amanda time to rest. She falls asleep, and when she wakes, she feels a little better. Relieved, Carla goes to get her car, promising Amanda a glass of iced tea back at her house. Nina sits with her mother, and the two cuddle until Carla returns. In the car, the rescue distance is short as Amanda notices that Nina also looks sick. Carla takes them to the clinic, where Amanda has confused memories of walking down the same hallway she traversed with David and seeing the drawings. She remembers Nina taking her hand and leading her along. 

Amanda cannot find her voice to speak to her daughter or tell the nurse what is happening. She is overwhelmed by a painful headache, and Nina has the same symptoms. Carla is taking responsibility for both of them, and Amanda thinks the other woman is almost old enough to be a mother to both of them. She wonders where David is and tries to ask Carla, but she isn’t sure if she manages to speak or not. Finally, Amanda asks Carla to call her husband. The other woman replies in a “condescending tone” that annoys Amanda, telling her that she and Nina have already discussed it. The nurse diagnoses the pair with sunstroke and sends them home with some useless pills. 

David takes over the story. He explains to Amanda how she left the clinic, walking slowly and stopping frequently. He tells her that he no longer believes she will understand the important thing, that “it’s not worth it anymore” to go on with the story (140). Amanda insists on continuing.