Family Family

“You have to learn about the world by living in it. You have to learn about other people and their lives by overlapping yours with theirs.”

When India wants to quit high school, her mother gives her this advice: True understanding of the world and others comes from direct, personal engagement rather than passive observation. Empathy and knowledge are developed via shared experiences and interactions, something India will understand all too well as the story progresses and her life becomes inextricably intertwined with many people.

“She actually felt this sentence in her chest.”

India and Robbie have an instant attraction. The passage conveys the physical impact of India’s first meeting with Robbie, as she experiences an intense emotional and physical reaction. The sensory detail emphasizes the weight and significance of the moment, giving it a tangible presence in her body. This chance encounter will forever change India’s life.

“It felt a little like that anyway, her life and her plans for it lit suddenly, electric, ablaze, so you could see the whole thing but only for a second, less than a second, half of a half, not long enough to take a breath even before being plunged into mystery again, bright then dark, bright then dark, a strobe, a pulse, over and over and over.”

India experiences transient moments of clarity amidst ongoing uncertainty. The light metaphor suggests her insight’s brilliance and fleeting nature. This precise measurement of time underscores how quickly her understanding fades, contributing to the sense of urgency, and conveys the breathless, overwhelming nature of these brief moments of insight. Her rapid succession of clarity and confusion gives the feeling that India is being swept up in her emotions and experiences, a defining character trait.

“[S]he thought maybe watching an excellent performance of Guys and Dolls had torn something inside her. She thought maybe all the protective barriers had come crumbling down.”

Live theater profoundly impacts India (See: Symbols & Motifs), and she has a special connection to this particular musical—Guys and Dolls. The tearing described in the passage is not literal but symbolizes India's realization while watching the musical that she cannot sing well enough to play musical roles. Experiencing this moment with Robbie touches her on a deep level, making her more emotionally fragile and vulnerable, which she thinks is why she got pregnant.

“Hope sparked on his face. She felt terrible for lighting it. She felt terrible for leaning over and blowing it out like birthday candles.”

When India tells Robbie she doesn’t want an abortion, he briefly thinks she wants to have the baby and start a life together with him. The imagery of blowing out birthday candles invokes a childlike joy, underscoring how young they are to make such weighty decisions. The sadness in the passage foreshadows their eventual breakup.

“No one here wants to catch whatever you have.”

Mrs. Xavier thinks India is nauseous from having a contractable virus. Her statement is ironic because no teenager wants what India has, which is an accidental pregnancy. The passage highlights India’s plight and the stigma that surrounds teenage pregnancy. Though most people see it as a disaster, India thinks it’s miraculous.

“‘Marriage?’ A jump-rope rhyme from her childhood.”

Robbie and India discuss their decision about pregnancy through this traditional children’s rhyme, which captures a sequence of life events in a straightforward and idealized manner. The invocation of a nursery rhyme emphasizes their youth and how quickly their choices forced them to grow up. The novel challenges this traditional, prescribed formula, showing how families can form differently, including through adoption, illustrating The Complexities of Family.

“She became a ghost roaming the halls of her high school, unnoticed but implacable, a reminder to one and all about the unremittingly gossamer fragility of life-as-you’ve-known-it. And of condoms.”

Instead of becoming a pariah, India feels invisible and disconnected from high school life around her, as if she is present but not fully seen or acknowledged by others. The passage's subtle irony suggests that while she feels invisible, her presence is a constant and unavoidable reminder to her peers. She is overlooked yet simultaneously becomes a significant, unspoken symbol of what can happen when people make mistakes.

“Give it time. It’ll pass.”

India’s mom, while empathizing with her daughter’s pain, often delivers tough love and wise advice. Sarah is an adult who’s seen enough of life to know of its ebbs and flows and that the pain of loss may never completely leave a person, but she also knows it will dull over time. The statement is ironic, however, because India’s 16-year-old choices will come back to haunt her when she must defend her decisions to the public. The process reopens old wounds and forces her to reevaluate her choices when she was young.

“She flung her arms wide, felt desperation spread through her body like some kind of fast-acting drug. Or fast-acting poison.”

With an urgent tone, the passage conveys India’s desperation to preserve her and Robbie’s relationship, but she knows that staying with him could mean the end of her New York dreams. The intense bond they shared was exponentially increased by having a baby, but it is complicated by their decision to put the baby up for adoption. The duality of the comparison to a drug suggests something potentially addictive or overpowering, while the comparison to poison implies something harmful or destructive. This simile emphasizes the overwhelming nature of India’s feelings, and her desperation is both pervasive and consuming.

“Here was this child, this being, who lived in her brain, a patchwork of memory and fantasy and possibility.”

India’s reaction to meeting Bex highlights the emotional complexities surrounding adoption and her experience with Exploring Identity as a mother. Until Bex came to LA, she had only existed in India’s mind and heart. India had placed so much hope in the idea that she would get something from the universe in return by giving Bex to Camille. The description of Bex reveals a deep longing and desire within India to know her biological child fully and not just as a dream. Bex represents a reflection of India’s past and the promise of what could be for each of them individually and together if they forge a relationship.

“Now though, she felt porous, like she’d left her covering at home, and here she was with her whole body and mind and soul wide open.”

Meeting India destabilizes Bex because the person she meets doesn't resemble the picture she’d created in her mind from seeing India on television, reflecting How Media Shapes Public Perception. The simile effectively conveys Bex’s feelings of vulnerability and exposure in meeting her flesh and blood, revealing the invisible connection she has to her biological mom. Comparing Bex to a porous object suggests she is absorbing everything around her without any barrier, leaving her in a complete state of openness without her usual defenses.

“[S]he owed her life—the one she had now, the tremendous life where she got cast in every show she auditioned for and landed the lead more often than not—to Rebecca and Robbie. They had taught her, simply, everything she knew about being a human in the wide world.”

India brings her entire self into each stage of her performance and employs method acting to create authenticity while Exploring Identity. India uses her emotional memories of baby Rebecca and Robbie to help her emote authentically on stage. This becomes a moving meditation for her as it allows her to become a better actor but also helps her process the emotions surrounding the loss of both.

“Regardless of how they get made, family is a force to be reckoned with.’”

The press wants to paint India as an advocate for many causes, such as pro-adoption and pro-life; however, she is more than anything an advocate for families and the expansion of the definition of families. Her statement here reflects her deep conviction that the concept of family extends beyond that of biology and that people who call one another family are fiercely loyal to one another.

“[W]hen they were paired up doing scenes during the second day of auditions she felt herself catch fire. Not like she was going to flame away into ash. Like she was sparking to life.”

Meeting Davis invigorates India with enthusiasm and vitality. The passage underlines the scene work's revitalizing and energizing effect on her while contrasting the idea of catching fire in a destructive sense with a more constructive and refreshing feeling. This contrast emphasizes the dynamism of her emotional response. Her connection to him—though as immediate and intense as that to Robbie—touches her more deeply, since they’re connecting through her great passion for acting.

“Every time she tried, her brain went somewhere else: to sleep, to panic, to anger that had to float around with nothing to attach to.”

This passage echoes Hamlet’s “To be, or not to be” soliloquy, repeating infinitives contemplating the meaning of being and the impossible weight of existence. The passage similarly depicts a state of mental turmoil and indecision, where India's thoughts are scattered and unable to focus. Like Hamlet, India is alone in her thoughts and isolated in her decisions.

“If her uterus felt anything, it was that it had already served.”

As India begins to feel the pull to become a mother, she wrestles with how to make that happen. This passage, while humorous, relays the physical exhaustion that comes from birthing two children. India has experienced the profound physical and emotional effects of pregnancy and birth and has no desire to repeat them. Her stance also reveals her sense of bodily autonomy and her right to choose whether she gives birth again.

“She read them like tarot cards: to know her future to meet if forewarned, twice shy.”

India uses index cards to plan her life, study for tests, and memorize lines for stage performance (See: Symbols & Motifs). She also uses them as confetti to celebrate successes. She turns to them as a mystical guide during her decision-making process about becoming a mother, hoping for an answer. Comparing India’s process to divination reflects her desire to seek knowledge to avoid past mistakes, encapsulated in the proverb "once bitten, twice shy," which means being cautious after a bad experience.

“But Fig could not fight with her brain. Fig was her own brain.”

This glimpse into Fig's interiority demonstrates the futility of opposing her anxious nature, underscoring the impossibility of Fig battling her mind because she and her mind are connected. This repetition highlights the importance of Fig's thinking to her identity, supporting her internal and highly personal battle. The passage implies that her identity is inextricably linked to her thoughts and mental state.

“[J]ust because the children you began and grew and loved were no longer with you didn’t mean they were no longer with you.”

The passage suggests that the physical absence of loved ones, specifically children, does not equate to their complete absence from one's life. It demonstrates the evolution of India’s views on motherhood as she learns that the bond formed by carrying a child creates a lasting connection for her that transcends physical presence. The emotional and spiritual connection India formed with her unborn babies, and eventually her adopted children, continues to shape her even when they are not physically present in her life, reflecting The Complexities of Family.

“This is how it always is for all parents, no matter how you came by your children.”

This passage alludes to Frankel’s novel This Is How It Always Is. The statement expresses that parenting involves a range of daily experiences, struggles, and joys. The passage also acknowledges various paths to parenthood, including biological, adoptive, foster, and other forms, reinforcing the idea that the essence of parenting transcends these differences.

“She felt like her own house plants, which she forgot, and forgot and forgot to water and then did. Like she was getting what she needed most after far too long.”

Depleted by the demands of Hollywood work, parenting, and pandemic lockdown, Ajax’s offer to work in theater appears like an oasis in the desert to India. The passage compares her to neglected houseplants, emphasizing the way her television work has sucked away all her creative energy. Acting on stage brings India to life, just as water nourishes wilting plants.

“[W]hat would become of coffee shops without caffeine addicts, New York with dark theaters, LA with silent soundstages, restaurants without diners, subways, without riders, cities without commuters and tourists, lovers and playdates?”

India contemplates the widespread effects of the pandemic, especially on big cities to which she feels connected. The passage emphasizes the impact of the loss of people and connectivity in these shared spaces and experiences. The tone reflects the profound sense of isolation felt by many during the lockdowns.