Everything I Know About Love

Nonfiction | Autobiography / Memoir | Adult | Published in 2018

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Summary

Background

Chapter Summaries & Analyses

Chapters 1-6

Chapters 7-12

Chapters 13-18

Chapters 19-24

Chapters 25-30

Chapters 31-36

Chapters 37-42

Chapters 43-45

Key Figures

Themes

Symbols & Motifs

Important Quotes

Essay Topics

Book Club Questions

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Discussion Questions

Symbols & Motifs

Broken Britain

“Broken Britain” was a term used by the United Kingdom’s Conservative Party from 2007-2010 to describe what they perceived as a widespread moral decline in British society under the leadership of Prime Minister Gordon Brown of the Labor Party. During the 2010 general election, David Cameron pledged to fix “Broken Britain” by resolving the issues the Conservative Party saw as the root of the moral collapse. In a 2011 press conference with BBC News, Cameron cited these issues as including but not limited to “irresponsibility, selfishness, behaving as if your choices have no consequences, children without fathers, schools without discipline, reward without effort, crime without punishment,” and “rights without responsibilities.” Cameron was criticized by political opponents for seeking “superficial answers” instead of longer-lasting solutions—for example, increasing police presence in certain neighborhoods and establishing harsher sentencing laws do not ameliorate the economic disparities that lead people to engage in criminal activity in order to obtain resources necessary for their survival.

In Alderton’s memoir, she references “Broken Britain” when describing how she behaved as a teenager and young adult while out with her friends: “We were Broken Britain—in fact, we used to shout it as we walked to pubs” (14). For her circle to adopt this moniker as a badge of pride is not necessarily an indicator of political awareness or engagement, rather, it more likely signifies the group’s feeling that if Britain is really broken in the ways Cameron listed, there is no one who better exemplifies “behaving as if your choices have no consequences” than they themselves do on a night out. Moreover, their adoption of “Broken Britain” in this way recontextualizes it as a humorous description of kids being foolish, and in so doing it potentially detracts from the seriousness of the term’s original implications.

Farly’s Tattoo

Alderton’s best friend, Farly, has a tattoo depicting two stars, one pink and one yellow. In common tattoo symbology, stars represent spirituality, protection, truth, and guidance as they embody the image of light as one journeys through darkness. Regarding the stars’ colors, pink is a playful color that is simultaneously associated with nostalgic innocence and more mature love or romance. Yellow is more broadly linked to optimism, as it can represent joy, friendship, and happiness. Yellow is also often associated with energy or being energized, due to its imagistic links to the sun. In other color symbology, yellow is sometimes linked with cowardice (being a “yellow belly”), sickness (like jaundice), or mental illness (e.g., as in Charlotte Perkins Gilman’s famous short story “The Yellow Wallpaper”). Given Farly’s Jewish heritage, a yellow star also carries with it connotations of the Holocaust, during which Jews were forced to wear a yellow Star of David on their clothes—although Alderton writes that Farly did not consider this meaning when she originally got the tattoo.

After Farly’s younger sister Florence passes away from leukemia, Farly has her tattoo changed by filling in both stars with black ink and having the letters “F” and “D” written beside them to represent Florence and Dolly (Alderton). Alderton remarks that Farly literally “painted it black,” referencing the Rolling Stones song “Paint it Black,” which is often thought to be about the death of a lover or loved one. The black stars become a symbol of Farly’s grief, but by covering the pink and yellow tones of her youth, the tattoo cover-up becomes representative of her leaving childhood firmly behind her as she enters adulthood—a transition marked by profound grief. Including Florence and Dolly’s first initials in the tattoo makes it so she literally carries them with her for life. Farly’s two major loves, her sister and her best friend, are now a permanent physical embodiment, and their initials being irremovable from her body signify honoring Florence’s memory and appreciating the impact Alderton has made on Farly’s life.

Satirical Emails

Several chapters in Alderton’s memoir are solely the text of an email she has either received—from someone with a deprecating, on-the-nose sense of humor—or ones she has fabricated as a means of satirical commentary on social scenes, wedding culture, and Western milestones in women’s lives (e.g., a baby shower). Satire relies on rhetorical devices like irony and exaggeration to expose and criticize people or cultural phenomena, especially in the context of contemporary, topical issues. This method of poking fun at someone or something is done in order to humble, discredit, or question the target. Alderton’s satirical emails employ two main elements of satire, namely parody (caricature) and hyperbole (exaggeration). As Alderton crafts these emails, she establishes a common thread of the sender’s desire to make the recipient feel inadequate or alienated. The email announcing a pregnant person’s baby shower literally says the event is intended to alienate the pregnant person’s childless friends and make the friends who are parents feel inadequate.

The first email describes a salon-type gathering of literary- and cinema-minded friends, the goal of which is to view the host’s short film, listen to them discuss the film self-indulgently for several hours, and eventually help fund the film’s sequel. Alderton’s description of the evening itself may be interpreted as a reflection of her own thoughts on the pretentiousness of the social circles she moves within at this time of her life, but as it is a satirical piece, she may just as likely be exaggerating reality in order to make the snobbishness more noticeable, and therefore funnier. A common thread throughout the emails is the sender’s request for financial support in whatever event the email announces. The bachelorette party email identifies by name at least five women who are invited but have not yet paid the exorbitant fees to participate—fees that do not even cover their meals, lodging, or travel expenses. The wedding invitation email ends, almost as an afterthought, with the admission that the couple used the wrong postage stamp when mailing the invitations, so all recipients had to actually pay in order to receive it. The couple assures the recipients that they will refund them the 79¢ each person paid to get their mail, but only if they bring the receipt of payment to the wedding. This section of the email calls to the reader’s attention the oftentimes outlandish expenses associated with having a wedding and the very real financial barriers that keep people from fully participating in such traditions. The absurd request to bring a receipt for the 79¢ postage implies that people can be more concerned with the financial details than with the event that is being celebrated. Occasions that should be a time for friends and family to share meaningful life events become an opportunity to display wealth and assert one’s social status over others.