Dopamine Nation: Finding Balance in the Age of Indulgence

As the title of the chapter suggests, Lembke begins by discussing the ethical imperative to be honest versus becoming conditioned to lie. She mentions that lying may have some adaptive advantage but that people don’t live in the same world as their ancient ancestors—and lying carries more risk than it would have had for them. Lembke tells the story of her patient Maria, who was recovering from alcoholism. In addition to lying about her alcohol use, Maria lied about most things in her life. She successfully gained sobriety through Alcoholics Anonymous, where she learned the true value of being honest. As a result, Maria started to transform into a far more honest person; rather than lying being her way of life, honesty was. Lembke moves on to discuss how honesty begins with one’s awareness of one’s problems. One can’t take proper measures to abstain from problematic behaviors without first recognizing and accepting that one has them. Naturally, denial factors into self-reflection, and Lembke discusses this in detail, using a study of gamblers to illustrate the mechanism of denial.

The author proceeds to make the case that honesty is foundational to intimate human relationships. She mentions that intimacy releases oxytocin, a hormone that triggers dopamine release in the brain. In this way, the development of intimacy with another person, which must have honesty and truth-telling at its center, is a natural means of boosting dopamine as opposed to the artificial ways that are omnipresent in our modern age. Of course, the willingness to reveal one’s self in the guise of honest revelation can take on a life of its own. Lembke mentions a conference she attended in which the speaker revealed his history of addictive behavior. The way he spoke of it led Lembke to believe that he was speaking for the high it gave him. She equates this to the “drunkalogues” told at many AA meetings. She continues her discussion of the limitations of self-disclosure and honesty by examining the “victim” narrative. She provides an anecdote from her own life, and discusses how she saw herself as a “victim” in her relationship with her own mother. Not until she started to see things from her mother’s point of view did she realize how her self-perceived “victimhood” actually added to the tension-filled relationship.

Lembke examines how honesty and lying both can be contagious. She discusses the scarcity mindset versus the plenty mindset and how these impact our decisions to tell the truth or lie. When people perceive that many others around them deceive and lie, they revert to a survival mode and lie as a means of protecting themselves. Conversely, when people feel reassured that others around them are being honest, they have less reason to feel threatened and are subsequently less inclined to lie. Lembke is sure to note that although the terms have economic connotations, the scarcity mindset prevails more often in richer countries rather than in poorer countries.