Colorless Tsukuru Tazaki and His Years of Pilgrimage

Fiction | Novel | Adult | Published in 2013

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Summary

Background

Chapter Summaries & Analyses

Chapters 1-3

Chapters 4-6

Chapters 7-9

Chapters 10-12

Chapters 13-15

Chapters 16-19

Character Analysis

Themes

Symbols & Motifs

Important Quotes

Essay Topics

Chapters 7-9Chapter Summaries & Analyses

Chapter 7 Summary

Content Warning: This section includes discussion of a non-consensual sexual encounter.

The narrative shifts back to Tsukuru and Haida in college.

After Tsukuru and Haida go to sleep, Tsukuru wakes up disoriented; he struggles to decipher if he is dreaming or if he is awake. He notices a figure that looks like Haida standing in the corner of his room but insists that it is not the actual Haida. Tsukuru feels a strong desire to move but cannot. He senses this vision of Haida staring at him. No words are spoken and after some time, Haida’s image leaves the room. Tsukuru falls back asleep.

Tsukuru has a sexually explicit dream that involves Shiro and Kuro. As the dream proceeds, Haida’s image reappears and becomes the center of the dream’s sexual encounter. The dream is so vivid that when Tsukuru wakes up, he feels as though he actually did have sex with the girls and then with Haida.

In the morning, there is no indication that Haida has any idea of the events from the night before, or about the wild dream that Tsukuru had; however, Tsukuru is convinced that Haida does. Soon after, Haida goes away for 10 days, which makes Tsukuru wonder again if somehow Haida knows the details of the dream. When Haida returns, they start spending time together as usual.

Chapter 8 Summary

Haida abruptly leaves. Tsukuru figures that Haida has gone home to Akita and will eventually come back. During this time, Tsukuru returns home to Nagoya to visit his own family. After he returns to Tokyo, however, there is still no word from Haida. By this time, Tsukuru has become worried. He begins inquiring into the whereabouts of his friend, even contacting the college registrar. He discovers that Haida pre-planned his departure, a fact that leaves Tsukuru feeling perplexed and abandoned. A few months after Haida leaves campus, Tsukuru has his first sexual relationship with a woman. Tsukuru hopes that having sex with her will prove that he is not gay. Eventually, the woman returns to her fiancé and the relationship ends.

Chapter 9 Summary

The narrative shifts again to the present. Tsukuru meets Sara at a coffee shop where she reveals to him that she has “in a sense” (112) found the whereabouts of his former friends. Sara was easily able to discover information about Ao and Aka. Ao lives in Nagoya and is a successful car salesman. Aka started his own business, a company that offers corporate coaching and guidance. Sara calls it a “creative business seminar” (116).

It took a little more effort to find Kuro, but Sara did learn where Kuro works. She tells Tsukuru that Kuro lives in Finland, a fact which surprises him. When she comes to Shiro, Sara is a bit more reluctant to reveal what she knows—the information is unpleasant. Shiro died six years ago, and Sara provides the location of her grave. Sara knows how Shiro died, but thinks it’s best if Tsukuru finds that out for himself.

Feeling despondent at the sad news of Shiro, Tsukuru decides to visit the Tokyo train station where the bustle of people and activity is a respite from his sadness.

Chapters 7-9 Analysis

Chapter 7 once again probes into the nature of Dreams and Reality. The narrative intentionally confuses readers, mimicking Tsukuru’s own confusion about what he is dreaming and what is actually happening. Some details seem to point to a lucid dream state. For example, the narrator notes that Tsukuru desires to move but can’t. He also is able to sense Haida’s presence in the room without knowing for certain that Haida is there. However, Tsukuru experiences the night as reality: When Tsukuru realizes that Haida is in his room, he decides that “this isn’t a dream” (91). Yet, just after this comment, Tsukuru’s certainty fades: “he couldn’t say if the person standing there was the real Haida” (91). Since Haida’s story about his father introduced the potential for the supernatural into the narrative, readers now wonder: Is Tsukuru just having an extremely vivid dream, or can Haida project himself into dreams? The novel does not clarify, leaving both possibilities open: “after a long silence, Haida—or Haida’s alter-ego—quietly left” (93).

Tsukuru struggles with his sexuality, unable to either understand or express the adult desires that are part of The Formation of Self. When Tsukuru has a sexually explicit dream about Kuro and Shiro, the narration implies that Haida is actually performing oral sex on Tsukuru while Tsukuru thinks he is feeling Shiro’s warmth. Because of this, when Tsukuru “couldn’t grasp the boundary between dream and imagination, between what was imaginary and what was real” (96), it is no longer clear whether Tsukuru is genuinely confused about being asleep, or whether he is a more active participant in this vision of Haida, as the word “imaginary” implies. When he wakes up in the morning, Tsukuru searches for evidence of a sexual dream, such as semen in his underwear; when he doesn’t find any, he nevertheless dismisses the idea that Haida performed oral sex on him. The thought is frightening and repugnant to him:

He shut his eyes and grimaced. Did that really happen? No, that’s impossible. It had all taken place in the dark interior of my mind. No matter how you look at it. So, where did all that semen gush out to? Did it all vanish too, in the inner recesses of my mind? (97).

The inner conflict here is apparent—Tsukuru pushes the non-consensual gay encounter into “the dark interior of my mind.” Moreover, he has an affair with an unavailable woman just to prove his heterosexuality to himself—rather than investigate what sexual attraction lies at the core of his being, he wants to impose heteronormativity onto himself from the outside.