Braving the Wilderness: The Quest for True Belonging and the Courage to Stand Alone

Angelou’s quote on belonging—“You are only free when you realize you belong no place—you belong every place—no place at all. The price is high. The reward is great” (5)—is open to multiple interpretations. Do you agree with Brown’s initial reaction to the quote—that it cannot be a good thing to belong nowhere? Or do you agree with her later (re)reading—that we can belong nowhere and everywhere? Are both statements valid, conditional, or both?

Throughout the book, Brown makes oblique references to spirituality and the desire for spiritual belonging, though she clarifies this is “in no way a religious struggle around dogma and denominations” (34). Why do you think she doesn’t include the topic of religion in a more direct and complete way? Is her thesis on true belonging complete without additional, explicit data on the role spirituality and/or religion play in true belonging practice?

As Brown notes, the wilderness conjures up images of vast, untamed nature, contemplative refuge, danger, beauty, solitude, and emotional/spiritual/physical quests. Based on these associations, do you agree with Brown’s selection of the wilderness as a metaphor for true belonging practice? Why or why not? Are there other equally apt metaphors that can be used?

Brown notes that the world feels “high lonesome and heartbroken” right now and provides statistics on sorting and reported feelings of loneliness to support her claim (45). What is your lived experience of this cultural phenomenon, and do you agree that this “high lonesome” feeling is driven by fear?

The four elements of true belonging practice are derived from Brown’s grounded theory research with interview participants. To what degree does Brown’s scientifically based research add validity to her thesis regarding the separation and loneliness people experience when they choose fitting in over true belonging?

The BRAVING practices Brown introduces in Chapter 2 (boundaries, reliability, accountability, confidentiality, integrity, non-judgment, and generosity) are trust-building strategies. Do you believe that it is more important to apply these strategies with others or with the self? Why or why not?

According to Brown, navigating the many paradoxes of true belonging is a challenging practice. It requires that people: establish clear boundaries in order to experience greater compassion and empathy; allow and transform their anger; acknowledge emotional (bullshit) responses with compassion and civility; share deeply personal, emotional responses in community with strangers; and approach the practice of true belonging with strength and vulnerability. What are your personal experiences with these paradoxes? Do you agree that they are challenging to navigate? Why or why not?

Brown claims that the four true belonging practices outlined in the book are a “critical piece of addressing our current spiritual crisis” (155). Do you agree that the underlying principles of practice can establish a greater connection with self and others? Is it possible for an individual practice to address a culturally experienced phenomenon such as “spiritual crisis”? If so, how?